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[–]Therocksays2020 61 points62 points63 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Just play it off.
It’s a bad sign she’s calling you when she’s having issues with the boyfriend.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Play it off how? I’m not going to text or call her about it if that’s what your saying
[–]Therocksays2020 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup don’t bring it up. Don’t ask about him.
[–]kbecel 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Don't mention the guy. Act like he doesn't exist. But the whole things smells "FRIENDZONE"
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She came over last night and although we didn’t have sex and she is still with her boyfriend we cuddled all night!
[–]Therocksays2020 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So you’re not closing the deal?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve decided that next time she hits me up I’m going to tell her straight up that she has to chose to either break up with her boyfriend or she can’t talk to me about her problems anymore
[–]tanashah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Bad why ?
[–]Therocksays2020 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
Because you don’t beat yourself up over a decision with a guy you want to date. You go to your gay best friend.
I’ve had women dump their boyfriends and want something with me. They come after shit is over.
[–]tanashah 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok so just to be clear. They should end things and then only come to you. I always thought guyz giving shoulder were opportunists. You termed them gay lol
[–]Therocksays2020 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Giving your shoulder is how you end up in the friend zone. When a woman is having trouble with other guys you never talk about the guy. You show them a good time and make them forget about ex guy
[–]tanashah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Noted
[–]staypushin 76 points77 points78 points 4 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link
You're her emotional tampon.
Why? Because you never established a sexual relationship with her. And it can be done without even having sex.
What now? Nothing.
Either cut her off or continue being in a simp position. Move on and stop playing it "safe" too friendly.
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (37 children) | Copy Link
I mean, she literally like begged me to have sex with her at one point, but I said no cause she had a boyfriend
[–]sassinculo 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Hey, might be an unpopular opinion, but if you didn't feel like it you did the right thing. You don't have to do things that you don't want to just cause you like the girls, it's something that this sub taught me. Plus, if you want something long term, that will play in your advantage as you set your boundaries and you established a somewhat moral attitude. I don't think you fucked up bro, but if i were in you i probably would like to assert some kind of interest maybe not verbal, but a little bit physical
If she breaks up with her boyfriend I’m going to be straight up and either tell her I want her sexually or invite her to the bars with me and some buddies and tell her there
[–]kbecel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Isolate, escalate, close OP What do you want from her?
Just a fwb
[–]Brohammer53 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So she's useless for anything more than a hookup.
[–]staypushin 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
bruh. 🤦
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You have no morals
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
You don’t understand being human
[–]lost-inthemiddle 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tip of my hat, for being a gentleman.
[–]DakiAge 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
she literally like begged me to have sex with her at one point, but I said no cause she had a boyfriend
You should have banged her back then.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]DakiAge 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
If she wants to cheat, she will cheat with or without you so that was an opportunity for you.
[–]flakscream 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That means if your gf would cheat on you, you could be friends with that guy. He only took the opportunity.
[–]DakiAge -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Of course :)
I am not insecure unlike you guys.
I can always find another girl to date with.
[–]flakscream 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao sure that. That's just a different mentality.
She told me that was the closest she ever came to cheating. The only other thing she has done was make out with other girls, but personally I don’t see that as cheating but her boyfriend was a weird guy
I see your problem now.
You are insecure and you don't have self-confidence.
You should handle this problem or you will continue losing at this dating business.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s true, I’m mostly just stressing because I really don’t want to be seen as the “gay” best friend. I’d rather never talk to her again then be that guy.
[–]GroundbreakingAd8077 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She wants you, she is bored of him, tell her to break it off with him, nothing immoral there, I wouldn't hold it against someone if the love of my life left me (she did) and then dated him
True, I just feel wrong getting involved like that. I don’t want to tell her what to do, I just want to make a move as soon as the deed is done. As far as I can tell they’ll probably break up within the next week
[–]Rikthelazy -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bruh I wouldved never passed up on that chance
[–]wallynext 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have no values
[–]esoteric82 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that's someone you'd want to be with? You think if she was with you that she wouldn't behave that way?
[–]skinisblackmetallic 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s probably for the best regardless of what your romantic or sexual goals are at this point. Stop being hung up on this particular person. You’re not getting anything positive from it.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It’s hard for me though. She’s by far the sexiest girl to ever show interest in me, and I can’t help but feeling if she breaks up with her boyfriend I’ll finally have a real(moral) way to fuck her. I don’t want to have a relationship with this person at all, just a fwb at this point
[–]skinisblackmetallic 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s hard for you because you are not attractive.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lol, you haven’t even seen what I look like😂😂😂 I already said she had told me a while ago she wanted to fuck me and my last ex was pretty damn cute
[–]skinisblackmetallic 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m sure you’re the bomb dot com. My assessment is that you are in the friend zone my friend. I suppose it’s possible you have a remote chance. Good luck. Let me know how it turns out.
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Guy. This is SO simple. Invite her to come over and watch Netflix with you. Or go do anything with her.
Don't worry about the top level comment. But seriously, too much more inaction and she'll probably lose interest.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’ve decided I’m not going to talk to her at all. If she calls me and says she broke up with her boyfriend this is what I’ll say; “damn, im sorry to hear that. I have to be honest with you though, I been sexually attracted to you for a long time, and I know you felt that way to. Now that you’re single I think we can have some fun together.” If she tells me she didn’t break up with her boyfriend, I’m going to say “okay, well I’m glad you think of me as a person you can trust and talk to, but I’m not the guy you can call about your problems. You are going to have to find someone else.”
What do you think?
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think you've been listening to bad advice from "keyboard jockeys" on this sub who know nothing.
She's made it clear she wants you multiple times.
Your plan is to freeze her out until she comes to you... essentially, continue the path of inaction.
It's very simple, friend. She wants to fuck you. Just spend a little time with her, and go back to your/her place afterwards.
Well that’s kinda the plan, but I don’t want to initiate until I’m sure she has broken up with her boyfriend. I’ve already told her no in the past because she was committed and I can’t back down on that stance
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then hang out with her regardless. Should you be fighting to keep them together? If she's asking you to give her a reason to break up, what chance does that relationship have, anyway?
True, but I honestly always knew the relationship would end anyways. Also her boyfriend is huge compared to me and would beat my ass😂😂😂
[–]YetzirahToAhssiah 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just don't look back on this opportunity with regret, my friend
[–]staypushin 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did you even try to smash?
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get with her boyfriend and show dominance 💯
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She probably had a hunch
[–]Responsible-Bug8192 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Burn your house down and move to another country. It's time.
lol
[–]SuaveFuck 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
well. we all mishear stuff now and then. just make sure in the next contact you wont be all romantically over her....
[–]SuaveFuck 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
stop that nonsense asap. she either breaks up with the BF and does you, or nothing more will come from you. DONT be the guy in the middle. it will end very very ugly for you.
[–]skinisblackmetallic 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You didn’t fuck anything up because their wasn’t a thing for you to fuck up. You have something to fuck up when someone is sexually attracted to you. You were already in the friend zone here.
This is also not really a field report because talking to a friend about their relationship problems over the phone is not being in the field.
[–]jbowman12 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Proceed with caution.
Just because she's recently single doesn't mean the ex wouldn't cause trouble for you when he finds out she's with someone else very shortly after. If you want the trouble, go right ahead, but my advice is be cautious, especially right off the bat.
[–]millionlionsvsonesun 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Girl (sexy)” is so funny
Lmao😂
[–]DakiAge 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I feel like I’m just that interaction I fucked up and exposed myself having feelings for her still. What do it do?
You did nothing wrong.
She sees you as a friend and nothing else so you should just move on and find someone else.
She already has a boyfriend anyways.
[–]anicknameyo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Finally a fucking decent answer
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DakiAge 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Be a man, not a pillow for girls with boyfriends.
You should give her an ultimatum of "choose me or your boyfriend".
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That’s actually good advice. I’m not worried about it since it was the first time, but next time she comes over I will tell her exactly that. I’ll say “you can’t just come over and cuddle with me and act like everything is okay, you have to pick between leaving your boyfriend or staying with him.”
[–]DakiAge 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should also do that for yourself,not because I said so.
Girls will continue to use you if you don't do this.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agree. I won’t text her or call her at all and wait for her to HMU. Then I’ll give her the ultimatum
[–]Dorkuzan 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My two cents : First cent : if you two are only friends then its ok for her to tell you her problems Second cent : if its more romantical like that i woudnt go for it coz i woud feel like i was just second choice when her boyfriend was no longer interesting for her. And my third cent freebie on me : you can do whatever the duck you want so do what you want. Who am i to tell you what to do. Also i dont think you did anything wrong
[–]rickmackdaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like it’s your turn. Enjoy the ride.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]rickmackdaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Don’t be the cuddler.
I’ve already decided what my next move is. I’m not going to text or call her at all. If she hits me up and asks to come over again I’ll ask “are you still with your boyfriend?” If she says yes then I’ll say “you can’t come over then. I care about you a lot, but you and I both know it’s wrong. You got to figure out your situation with your boyfriend before coming to me.”
[–]rickmackdaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ooooooor you could say “you coming to cuddle or you coming for something more?”
I feel like she would just say “I’m still with my boyfriend.” Which is honestly total bullshit considering she literally slept in my bed which is emotionally cheating which is just as bad if not worse then fuckinng
[–]rickmackdaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s worse for her and not as good for you. Don’t be doormat #2. Know your worth and if there is a mutually intimate coupling to be made then make sure you get what you want out of it too.
Sounds like she’s getting what she wants from both of you and you might be on the wrong side of the equation, if she’s using him for sex and you for cuddling.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I guess what you’re saying has truth to it. I don’t know. I wish you knew all the details, because this whole ordeal spans 2 years of constant back and forth shit. I barely even hit her up she only hits me up and most the time I decline her invites. It’s honestly super difficult to tell the whole story.
There was a point in which she told me straight to my face she wanted to fuck but I declined because she was with her boyfriend. Looking back I probably should have said yes, but it was the right thing to do for sure
Also I doubt that she only stays with her boyfriend for the sex. Hell, the reason all the stuff about breaking up with him came up is because he didn’t want to be in a open relationship lmao
[–]rickmackdaddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Take her back up on her offer, make her a new offer, but don’t be the side piece for cuddling. You don’t get any credit for cuddling with her but not having sex with her when she has a BF. You’re already helping her cheat, just in the most beta way possible.
Take control of the situation. That’s what you do.
[–]Vegetable-Mobile-430 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just throw the whole relationship away and start over 😂
Lmao why do you say that
[–]BURnTHeHEDGES 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
serious conversations should be had while naked.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
They’ve been dating for 4 years. If it had only been a couple months I wouldn’t feel bad, but I do in this case
[–]BURnTHeHEDGES 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My friend... if she calling you for advice... you aren't the one fucked up anything. Life is meant to be lived. Take a chance and get vulnerable. Advice from a random dude on reddit but she calling you my man.
That’s true actually. I guess I’m just scared it could backfire. Say she doesn’t break up with her boyfriend after I tell her too. I could never hang out with her again
[–]BURnTHeHEDGES 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
well don't pour your heart out but instead ask her the hard questions. 😁 How can I support you as a friend? Do you want to know what I would do in your position? Have you told him everything you are telling me? you could end with this one... Do you know that I have feelings for you? Because I do I don't think I can be unbiased in my advice... In the end you are in the friend position however if you do decide to tell her you have feelings for her I would wait until after she ends it brotha.
[–]BURnTHeHEDGES 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
you are a fucken badass. I will take my own advice and speak words to my gym crush instead of us just smiling at each other every day. 🤣 I'm going to try the ole "Excuse me...you are so darn cute with your lil dance moves between reps and if I may be so bold... would you be open to grabbing a coffee this weekend?" what do you think?
Sounds great dude!
[–]GroundbreakingAd8077 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Then you didn't do anything except get laid a week early
Lmao wdym by that 😂
This was supposed to be a reply to you saying they will probably break up in a week so you don't want to ask her to leave him
I see
[–]GroundbreakingAd8077 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just ask her to break up with him and if she doesn't, then you have to decide do you want to be the side guy or move on, I know you would feel bad asking her to leave him or being the side dude, but seriously if she leaves him you are doing him a favor, I personally would rather my girl leave then stay with me when she is cuddling someone else
[–]GroundbreakingAd8077 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds honorable
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