Matched with a really cute girl on my tinder a few weeks ago. We made playful conversation about anime, daddy issues, and other random topics. That night she said she would text me the next morning but instead she went ghost for about 2 weeks.

Fast forward to last night, I get a random tinder message from none other than her, apologizing to me for ghosting and offering to meet up somewhere close to her house. The texting on my end was very sharp and to the point, with some one word answers. She later texts me saying shes nervous (she never met me before) so I decided to just give her a phone call and tell her im about to leave so she knows Im a real human with a voice and a personality. She tells me that my way of texting made her think I was not a real person or that I was mad, but I also think it helps get her hamster wheel spinning (I changed up the vibe I had given when we were talking on Tinder). That immediately warmed her up and she even thanked me for the call.

I google her neighborhood, find the nicest cocktail lounge in the area based on reviews, and tell her I will meet her there. Initially I offered to meet her at a place further into the city (Chicago), but that was too far.

I walked in and the bar consists of single bartender named Jimmy, and 3 patrons who are all drinking and talking to the guy. I was greeted very warmly, introduced myself to everyone in the bar and chilled for about 10 minutes. The bartender even poured me a free shot of tequila before she arrived.

She walked in the door and we immediately recognized each other from our photos, a good sign. Then I got up and gave her a very strong hug, which she reciprocated. We started chatting and things were going very well. She had already had a few drinks, and had a very submissive attitude and was apologizing for basically nothing repeatedly (a sign of interest, but also of an unstable personality). I made sure to keep my frame the entire date. She tried to encourage me to drink more to "get on her level" and I refused, buying her respect, she apologized and then we kissed a few times. She started a political conversation (which I immediately shut down-NEVER talk politics on date, especially a first one). We made some sexual conversation, talking about BDSM and other topics, before we finished our drinks and walked to my car. As we walked to my car, I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close into me as we walked. When I started driving she went on another political tangent (she was very much a leftist/feminist) but I avoided the bait. (Im not necessarily a conservative but also not a leftist so its very hard to have political conversations with women in Chicago because they tend to be very judgmental and take every opinionated statement as an aggressive personal attack.) Then she asked me why I was on Tinder in the first place. I must have been kinda drunk at this point because my response included the phrase "yeah sometimes Ill just swipe through a bunch of females". And that was it.

Her entire facial expression and demeanor changed, she got offensive, asking me "why are you doing this", "I thought you were cool" "oh no oh no" as if im suddenly going to turn her into skin suit. Thankfully I just found a parking spot, so I gently handed her phone to her (was using it for navigation), turned on my car light, looked her in the eyes and reassured her that me using "female" to describe women had nothing to do with my opinions ON women. I was somehow able to reassure her enough to where we started actually walking to her apartment, once again I have my arm around her waist and shes really leaning on me. She was very noticeably drunk, but then again I was pretty drunk too, but she got weird again. Not sure what I did or said this time as i dont entirely remember but I think it could have been some last minute resistance, coupled with whatever concerns she developed from the car conversation. She started freaking out again, saying "Why are you like this" "This was going so good", "Youre ruining everything". We were ten steps to the door of her apartment but the look on her face and the change in attitude was enough for me to think "fuck this".

So I apologized for the only time that night, told her it was best for me to just leave. And turned and walked away. I half expected her to try and get me to come back, but she just watched as I walked down the block. I even turned to see if she was still outside and she was just standing there looking at me, looking very hurt. I got in my car and left.

When I got home, I sent her a text telling her I wasnt mad, but she seemed very upset and I didnt feel comfortable staying. I told her she can text me if she wants, and she did not reply. I woke up today and saw she had deleted me off her tinder. Big L, but otherwise a really good performance on my part aside from the end of the date.