Girl messages me month later after she said she was dating someone else

wastingtoomuchthyme · 2021-08-11T12:25:09+00:00

Ahh the old "dry spell" trick..

"Welp. I'm single again and do t want to put in any effort.. oh.. hi OP"

hulk_hogans_nutsweat · 2021-08-11T12:11:42+00:00

You did the right thing. If she starts blowing up your phone don’t respond. Just block her and move on with your life.

justmuro · 2021-08-11T13:00:42+00:00

Depends what your looking for. Sounds like relationships out of the cards but you could enjoy hitting it and never have her tie you down. But sounds like you got abundance mentality so you have your own answer my friend.

Plenty of fish in the sea that will chase you and push others off for you.

2021-08-11T14:11:10+00:00

The reality is that you are always the second choice to someone, in fact you are typically much further down that just second. If she could pick a rich model looking guy over you, she absolutely would. Lets be honest, imagine if this girl was attracted to you initially. Would you even care about her if absolutely stunning babes were hitting up your phone constantly?

The idea that we need to find "the one" who is perfect is a total myth. Women try to find the best man possible who will also attracted to them, and has some level of commitment. You are upset because she was straight up about you being second place. Most women have the civility to not talk about their selection process.

I would totally fuck her as a second choice because if I'm looking for a hookup, I just care about the quality of the lay not her personality. But for a relationship, her being so straightforward would be kind of a turnoff for me.

agentp2319 · 2021-08-11T19:59:26+00:00

I seem to have a different perspective than a lot of the other replies. To me, the fact that she was honest and direct with you, and that she didn't want to date two guys at the same time, both seem like pretty good signs. It shows a level of maturity that I personally would respect and be attracted to.

She was already seeing someone else so she cancelled and gave you an honest reason why, it ended up not working out with them, so now she's back in the game and able/willing to explore whatever connection you both felt.

Psynaut · 2021-08-11T14:49:00+00:00

I have a different take then the rest of the people in this thread. Sometimes being second choice just means you got there later. The fact that she didn't date you and him at the same time is a good sign, because if she likes you she will probably treat you with the same respect. You should accept, but add an additional hurdle for her as a penalty, and tell her yes, but she has to pay for the entire first date, and you will see how it goes. Make her buy dinner, too, not just coffee or something cheap.

betahearts · 2021-08-11T15:38:28+00:00

Why are you faulting a woman who was honest? When you started talking she might have been single and things developed with someone else. She didn’t want to two-time. This seems like a good thing? Why are you faulting a woman who hasn’t even gone on a first date with you for not being her “first choice”? Things didn’t work out, now she’s on the market again exploring other guys. Take your shot, or don’t. But you being offended by this is small dick energy.

Hot_Funny6531 · 2021-08-11T18:04:48+00:00

It’s just the reality of dating. You weren’t necessarily the second choice. It didn’t work out with the other guy, but she had a connection with you and now she wants to explore that. She was honest about it. Grow up

MrMelbourne · 2021-08-11T12:06:25+00:00

Respond and say that you are only looking for friends with benefits. If she is interested, fuck her a bunch of times and then move on.

nostalgia_series · 2021-08-11T12:04:36+00:00

I would do the same thing as you hahah. You’re clearly not her first choice and she’ll probably drop you again as soon as she finds somebody she likes better. Not worth it

borderline_autistic1 · 2021-08-11T13:48:12+00:00

This happened to me last year. Was working at McDonald's. I was obviously interested in this girl I worked with that I thought was cute. I moved on to a different work place but stayed in touch and tried to schedule dates/hangouts but she was always just "too busy" even though I heard from multiple people she thought I was cute and we would be pretty flirty at work.

Then one day I asked her out to dinner and she said she had a new boyfriend. What's more she started dating the brother or cousin or something of this super greaseball manager that we had. Like dude was super trashy and in his 30s working at mcdicks and I can't imagine his brother had much greater prospects. Didn't bother me too much and I was like whatever. Was slightly annoyed about the "busy" bullshit but whatever her loss I'm not going to stick around mcdicks forever.

Fast forward 6 months she sends me this long gushy text about how she's been thinking about me and misses me so much and hopes I'm doing well (I'm assuming she and her bf broke up).

I replied "lol thx"

Never heard from her again. I hope she enjoyed her uti from that guys greasy dick

CommercialFig344 · 2021-08-11T20:29:39+00:00

Different opinion ..

First of all Credit to her for being honest and truthful to you and not just going on a date with you while dating someone else. We all know sometimes its just timing. I think its totally okay for someone to frist pursue the person you started dating first even though u also had a conmection with someone else.

Just because it didnt work out with the date guy doesnt mean ur 2nd choice buddy. My guess is your ego actually was a bit butt hurt. On the other hand also totally fair if u say nah i didnt like the way it was handeled back than and you do not think the same of her now.

But think about it, would u rather date someone honest and stand up or sneaky dating you while she was starting to see someone, just swap positions and imagine u were the first guy

Gnostromo · 2021-08-11T20:44:07+00:00

Probably just a timing thing more than second choice.

She maybe have been talking to the other guy more/first

Is she the first person you've ever dated?

You're never anyone's first.

Go for it. You might find you're perfect for each other. Can always end it if there's no vibe

nfornear · 2021-08-11T20:31:46+00:00

So sad to see the state of these reactions. She hadnt even met OP and decided to pursue something serious. How is that wrong?

She reached out once it didnt work out, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I would even say its super healthy behavior, this stuff happens.

OPs reaction with "I wont be someones 2nd choice or I could have 99% fucked her if I said yes" just shows OPs immaturity. How are you second choice if someone who she knew gets picked over you, who never met her.

Come on I though this sub was better than this fragile ego shit

agpc · 2021-08-11T21:38:20+00:00

I mean she may have been more into the other guy bc she had invested more time with him. She at least was honest with you, it sounds like your feelings were hurt.

2021-08-11T22:10:46+00:00

Just ignore it.

2021-08-12T04:07:45+00:00

I laughed my ass off. I ignored her. I could 99% fuck her if I had responded but nah.

You did the right thing. Don't waste your time on women like that. She's proven to be flaky and overflowing with entitlement. Probably would cheat on you too if you got into a relationship.

I had an ex girlfriend repeatedly call me on different numbers several times in the years after we broke up. First 2 times, I told her politely that I didn't want to talk. Then the third I said "Who? Sorry I think you got the wrong number." She never called again.

NewCommonSensei · 2021-08-11T16:25:34+00:00

Hit it and quit it every woman gets one chance 😊

NostalgiaUltr · 2021-08-11T12:07:10+00:00

Good job op.I would’ve done the same

ThePerson_There · 2021-08-11T19:31:55+00:00

I mean... it's an opportunity to hit... Might as well be pragmatic.

ClearSkies2000 · 2021-08-11T23:04:26+00:00

Never waste a good lay my dude. Rail and bail.

Booster93 · 2021-08-12T00:20:21+00:00

Just fuck her, then Block her.

Dakessian · 2021-08-11T15:16:23+00:00

Same. You did the correct thing. Sometimes guys at least get blow job out of this situation.

rickmackdaddy · 2021-08-11T18:29:32+00:00

Free smash. Do it.

Bogzbony · 2021-08-11T15:44:30+00:00

Should say that some nudes may influence your answer. She is clearly disrespecting you so...

Ohhhwordddd · 2021-08-11T14:05:50+00:00

I’d might as well meet just to fuck and do her dirty like she did you.

Woujo · 2021-08-12T01:20:45+00:00

> I laughed my ass off. I ignored her. I could 99% fuck her if I had responded but nah. I don’t want to be a second choice. What would you guys do?

Go back out with her and fuck her. Stop being so butthurt. Shit like this happens all the time.

SlickBackMex · 2021-08-12T03:23:23+00:00

Unpopular opinion: I'd say have sex with her and leave her!!

McNutz-29 · 2021-08-11T20:06:41+00:00

You’re a better man than me. I’d agree to the date and then flake saying I have a date with a chick I’m more interested in

PatientAssociation62 · 2021-08-11T15:43:11+00:00

I actually had an ex message me years later after getting married, having several kids, and then divorcing the guy. I ignored it. I guess it's up to you. Do you think this chick is worth your time? Put your emotions aside and decide whether she still is worth your interest or not. Maybe she was on the outs with her boyfriend last time around. It might be worth a date or maybe even a hookup.

IEThrowback · 2021-08-11T18:57:33+00:00

Give it a shot. Unless you’ve been with her since childhood, you’re probably already 2nd... at the very least

SalesAficionado · 2021-08-11T20:35:56+00:00

Do you want to be a backup plan? Fuck that noise. Block that bitch.

2021-08-11T23:36:47+00:00

Who cares move on she seems like trouble

ayleidanthropologist · 2021-08-12T03:43:53+00:00

Seems fine, why should you always be somebody’s option?

2021-08-12T03:54:21+00:00

If they stop talking to you to invest more time in someone else, move on and don't look back.

I see some people saying "timing" in the comments and thats a pretty lame excuse. The only "timing" issue here is that someone else that she was more interested arrived right on time for her to shoot down plans and start talking to him instead. Nobody would owe this person a second chance to come back and say "alright let's pick up where we left off."

Eff that. Bye, Felicia.

HammertonMili · 2021-08-12T09:44:00+00:00

I could 99% fuck her if I had responded but nah

You did the right thing, bro, but you could have been more creative. Not to be sinister or anything, but clearly, you're the spare tire here. You could have responded and did the deed with her, then leave her. She'll now then know how it feels to be a spare tire

RStonePT · 2021-08-12T12:44:30+00:00

I could 99% fuck her if I had responded but nah

you 100% could not fuck her if you tried, or at least you believe that. Everything else you wrote was your way of soothing your ego by pre emptively rejecting her.

2021-08-12T14:08:57+00:00

Obviously you’re more than welcome to do what you please But this is the most immature take and reasoning in your comments.

Everyone is seeing multiple people online and typically when things get serious with someone they break it off with the rest.

You sound like a kid with the way you’re trying to get some sort of revenge, or boost your own ego from this.

If you don’t want to see her just move on, no need to post on Reddit to make yourself feel good.

Plagiarized	Original
My favorite subtitle to d...	My favorite subtitle to d...
It helps if you grew up w...	It helps if you grew up w...
I have so many sexual fan...	That's so true hahahaha...

Title	Girl messages me month later after she said she was dating someone else
Author	CommercialFig344
Upvotes	71
Comments	67
Date	August 11, 2021 12:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/p2bohu/girl_messages_me_month_later_after_she_said_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-messages-me-month-later-after-she-said-she.1278504 https://theredarchive.com/post/1278504

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