For you guys out there who are highly successful with women, what are some of the steps you take on the early dates to ensure high sexual tension between you and the woman is building?

recyclablebanthas · 2021-08-16T15:39:33+00:00

I feel like once the intimacy has been reached, than the girl is yours to lose and its your choice if you want to continue dating her or not.

Note: Dating is a team sport. A two way street. We are dealing with another human being with their own thoughts, desires, goals, etc.

And as people interact with each other, they may find out things about each other that may change what they want.

Either person in the interaction may change their mind before or after intimacy has been reached. It may not even be anything personal. Sometimes things just don't line up and we may realize it on that first date or a year or two later.

But either party may decide. Not just the guy.

Sapthadhri · 2021-08-10T10:12:10+00:00

Eye contact during conversations and being a good listener-This sounds like a how to be a nice guy advice but trust me.
If you arent the most dashing guy out there you probably have to use escalation to some extent. Choose date venue, time of date... to escalate the situation to something more intense
Work on yourself. This is literally the easiest and effortless way to make them want you sexually. Body-> gym, face--> self care,dressing sense--> choose better fits and better fashion. Some women would fall for you for the way you build sexual tension. But majority would want to get physical based on your looks. Dont listen to women who say personality,bla bla bla matters the most. First priority is always looks.

MO_drps_knwldg · 2021-08-10T14:23:22+00:00

Pick date options, specific time and place. Then discuss options with her. Do as much of the planning as possible so she can relax.
Completely agree with previous commenter about maintaining good eye contact and listening, remembering small details about her.
Ask interesting, fun questions about her, stay away from heavy topics like exes. If you’re talking about preferences, don’t be afraid to disagree with her respectfully. I had really good chemistry on a date one time and we got on the topic of exes too heavily and killed the vibe.
Subtle touch is crucial in my opinion, this should probably close to number 1. Greet her with a light hug, if you’re joking or talking, touching her hand or upper part of her arm. If you’re walking across the street with her, but your hand on her back very lightly in a protective manner
Smile (naturally)
Tease her occasionally, in a fun way, not negging bullshit. Think about how you joke around when you’re in a relationship. You joke around and have fun and tease each other. If she tells a joke that doesn’t stick and says something a little off, playfully joke with her about it.
Give compliments sparingly, and if you do, be very genuine, not to try to win her favor. Make it about something specific, not just a general comment about their beauty, their smile, eyes, etc.
Nighttime dates only for the first several dates. No movies or any type of date where you’re not interacting heavily
Try to pick dates that are near your place or hers, within 15 minutes max. This will make it easier to bring her back.
Wear cologne, don’t overdo it. 1-2 sprays max. My most complemented were Creed Aventus, Aqua Di Gio Profundo. Wear something that makes you feel confident. Scent is a memory trigger.
As previous commenter said, but well groomed and nice fitting clothes always is key.
Wear a watch. It’s a subtle sign of status, even if it isn’t expednsiv

I don’t consider this highly successful, but average if you’re doing things correctly: Sex should usually occur by the second or third date, unless she has some religious or other reason to abstain from sex. If you haven’t kissed or had some form of intimate physical contact by the end of the second date, you’re on the way to being an friend, if she hasn’t categorized you as such yet.

Hope this helps.

NewCommonSensei · 2021-08-10T19:01:06+00:00

Do that yes. Also make sure to appeal to her emotions. If she mentions what she likes or does ask her why she does it? Then pull the emotional thread and weave in cold reads or your observations about the emotions she likes to feel about it. For example. You. Why do you like to travel? Her. I like to learn about the world and get away. You: Theres nothing better than the feeling of discovering new spots that inspire wonder snd beauty of life.

Do not do interview questions consecutively but questions should be sparse and then you pull whatever thread comes up. Draw it back to emotions because women love to feel.

During a lull in convo i like to smirk and give her like sexy eyes which usually prompts a why are you looking at me like that? And you can smile and say I just am really enjoying getting to know you.

Don’t complain about anything. Compliment about her personality or her cute smile. Don’t comment how pretty she is unless she is really feeling something for you. Pick up on subtle cues. Don’t check your phone and be present in the conversation meaning don’t think about what to say next but really hear what she’s saying and share a positive emotion about it.

SerMyronGaines · 2021-08-10T09:23:04+00:00

Define "highly successful with women". I mean I do ok, get kiss closes 90%+ of the time but first-date-fuck closes are probably 20% of the time.

Is that "successful" enough for me to provide input in this thread😅?

Brandonva804 · 2021-08-10T12:25:01+00:00

There is no secret every girl is different. Just talk with them for about an hour or two. And ask them back to your place. Make moves while at your place. Simple as that.

2021-08-10T21:45:09+00:00

Don’t talk about yourself unless she asks. Then be forthcoming but not boastful, maintain some mystery about yourself including about your Manhattan penthouse and your Bugatti parked outside.

Heavy-Lingonberry473 · 2021-08-11T00:37:34+00:00

Any tips on how a woman can create emotional sexual tension for her love interest? I feel like I’m bad at reciprocating the romance, emotionally in someone who is already physically attracted to me. I’m fairly shy. He asks a lot about me but doesn’t give me many interests/ topics in return to learn more about him.

Shintaigou · 2021-08-10T13:38:39+00:00

My problem is that I don’t fuck on the first date which causes many of the girls I talk too well to ghost me lmao.

Birch_T · 2021-08-11T00:56:31+00:00

During the meal, while she is talking, I start rubbing both my nipples through my shirt and licking my lips. Sometimes, I softly moan. That usually does the trick.

ckentner4212 · 2021-08-10T21:26:51+00:00

It feels like I’m amongst the very few actual adults here. I think it’s funny how I’m getting paid big bucks to do a job I’m successful at, yet these immature people think that it’s a big insult to tell me I’m a bad dating coach. The proof is in the money I’m being paid. I do not need the approval of a bunch of incels that can’t get women. Also, it’s alarming how people are talking about women. The sexism and immaturity in this post is outrageous. Y’all are just gross. I’m blocking all of you and heading out of this toxic thread. SMH… I’m continually disappointed by humanity…

ckentner4212 · 2021-08-10T09:57:21+00:00

I’m a dating coach and this kinda makes me cringe, tbh… Please don’t try to create sexual tension. A woman will be ready and willing if she feels safe, respected and not pressured. I fear that trying to “create” anything is a very bad idea. It sounds pretty manipulative, tbh. Women aren’t stupid. We know when that’s your focus. Here’s my advice… Be open, be yourself and just let things happen naturally.

2021-08-10T18:17:06+00:00

I think a lot of the teasing/negging/pick up stuff does not work reliably. What I do is first I sit kinda close to the girl. Extremely mindful when we sit down at a place, to avoid face to face dining position. Face to face like at a restaurant table is the WORST. You want to be sitting side by ride, or at least at an angle. Then make a lot of eye contact (but not weird staring, there is a difference). M and show you are listening. THEN… I look her up down at some point so she knows I am checking her out. Believe me… women do this as well. Especially when you get up to go to the restroom. THEN I will look at her lips. When she notices you looking at her lips, she knows you’re thinking physical. But overall you can’t force this stuff. If they are attracted to you already, your job is to enhance that and keep it going to the next level. Always be a gentleman, always be polite. Be funny, be carefree, lighthearted, laugh everything off. This is the foundation on which you build.

TallDarkandBot · 2021-08-10T20:02:41+00:00

Being present in the moment. Sounds more simple than it is, I know. But being able to hone in on the conversation and not how you are feeling or what’s going on, is a huge turn on.

With that, being able to take the conversation to a deeper level. Responding with a question that makes her think and elicits emotions are golden. You want to get her excited to talk about herself, not feel like she is in an interview.

reverse_pineapple · 2021-08-10T21:25:01+00:00

Eye contact and directness in an honest way.

Let them know where they stand. Talk about expectations of what you are looking for and tell them if you are attracted to them and want to meet again.

Especially here in Seattle guys are not direct whatsoever so it always makes you stand out.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-08-11T04:30:00+00:00

1

For example, we know that teasing, making fun, lots of incidental contact, but can you give more details on things you do that almost always work to ensure sexual tension?

Everyone in the world has their own taste in what turns them on in another person or in situations. As such, sexual tension is not something that can be ensured.

We can increase the chance that the other person will feel that if they're attracted to us.

Trying to force things can turn the other person off pretty quickly though.

Teasing and being playful is fine, but it's a risk to do so at her expense. (Like by making fun of her personally.) Unless you really know this person well, making fun of her could backfire.
Incidental contact can't be planned. That's why it's incidental. Like two people walking next to each other and they accidentally bump arms or something. The point is not to deliberately make contact that appears incidental. The point is that when incidental contact happens, you note her reaction and it can give you a feel for where she is at. Does she flinch away fast and hard? Does she lean into the contact? And so on.

2

I feel like establishing sexual tension is the single most important key that will determine the success of the date and the prospects of things reaching intimacy (whether that be a kiss or more).

When you are getting to know someone else, it's important to pay attention to them. Information is power. If you don't have it, you won't know when you need to calibrate. You won't know that you need to back off or when you need to turn the heat up.

She will feel sexual tension if she's into you.

Some most common mistakes in this area are usually:

The guy accidentally bulldozing over the girl while trying to physically escalate or create sexual tension.
The guy not making a move when she's into it.
The guy designing his date in a way that makes it uncomfortable or logistically difficult/impossible for physical escalation to occur.

3

I'd love to hear specific things that successful guys do or say to build the sexual tension in these early dates and how you go about doing it. Thanks in advance!

Some logistics can be helpful:

Make sure the place where you're meeting up with her has good options for other things to do if possible.
Bonus if it's a good place to talk comfortably.
It's also good if it's near your place or hers.
If the logistics aren't good, it doesn't matter how much tension you have.

Awareness is key:

You're going to need to talk to her to get a feel for her.
Active listening (devoting your brain to listening 100%) is important to ensure you get the most information and stay plugged in to what's going on.
Following up on what she has said is important as well. She'll open up if you get her talking about herself. That helps make the situation more comfortable. Sexual tension won't develop without comfort.
Paying attention to her reactions to the things you say and do, is important. Especially physical reactions to any physical contact. Basic stuff like, noticing if she leans into contact or flinches away.

jdogg692021 · 2021-08-11T05:16:59+00:00

The best way to get laid. Be the best looking guy in the place. If you have to go to some dive bar to be that then do it. 2nd best is, be witty and funny and make girls laugh etc. Most all people out and about just want to have fun.

SebastianPatel · 2021-08-16T04:18:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Comments