Once you get a girl in the bedroom, how do you escalate?

scrubzor · 2011-12-06T18:43:19+00:00

I think your problem is that you are not kissing the girls soon enough into your interactions, so when you end up in the bedroom the "seal" hasn't been broken yet, so there's an awkward tension. Kiss her at the end of date 1. Kiss her when you greet her for date 2. Kiss her throughout the date on date 2. This way when you make it to the bedroom, the make out is not awkward, because you've already been kissing. It will feel more natural. Your escalation is off. Be more aggressive before you get to the bedroom.

Once you are in the bedroom and your making out, escalate physically even further. Use your hands to explore her body. Run your hands over her stomach, waist, hips, and legs. Pull her into your body, let her feel your hardon through your pants.

If they turn you down for a kiss in the bedroom, ignore it. Continue watching the movie. Keep escalating physically during the movie. Play with her hands. Put your arm around her. Pet her legs. Try again for the kiss in 10-15 mins.

gabriot · 2011-12-06T19:34:46+00:00

Massages are your friend. Just give a back massage, eventually when I do this they usually make a move on me afterward.

jmanon · 2011-12-06T18:31:27+00:00

Have you not already made out with them at some point before you get to your bedroom? I don't think I've ever gotten a girl to hang out in my bedroom whom I hadn't already kissed. They may be confused about your intentions. At that point, I just start making out with them. I can't ever remember a girl rejecting me at just a kiss. Objections sometimes come when we get closer to sex or I start taking off her clothes, but I just say OK, NP and keep on plowing ahead with the foreplay unless I get the vibe that she really means it, in which case I say OK, NP and then withdraw from her until she starts it back up again or gives me a signal she wants me to.

pjmnsed · 2011-12-06T19:18:48+00:00

I think if nothing had happened so far the main risk is that you've put everything on the back burner and directed attention to the film. Sure, watching a movie with a girl does work but if there's no physical or verbal build up it's no wonder that a kiss seems jarring.

If you're alone on a bed, I think a good rule of thumb is that she likes you. Just because the film is on doesn't mean you should stop seducing her though. You'd be letting the escalation slip and then trying to jump up it again. Does that make sense?

annamal · 2011-12-06T21:40:24+00:00

This is a good question to bring up - definitely an unexpected turn of events.

When I'm watching a movie with a new-ish guy like you describe, there are certain kinds of kino I like - arm around shoulder, stroking it now and then, moving a piece of hair out of my face, maybe cupping one of my calves. The touch is exciting, especially when you know it's a taste of what's to come.

It's hard to figure out what's going wrong, so I'll just give examples of kino-escalation. Usually, I guess when touches kind of turn to strokes...something that's always very sensual is the stroking of the hair or face. Massaging is also very nice. Oh, and lets say you have your hand on her knee, you can start gently stroking with your thumb, then kind of let your hand slip down to the ankle, back up, eventually feeling your way up.

Helpful? This one's hard to determine.

puaCurveBall · 2011-12-06T18:27:02+00:00

I don't understand this. Any girl that goes to your bedroom alone is wanting to kiss you. This is more than 99%

So I propose there are two possibilities:

One: You are sending out a gay or friendship vibe.

Any girl I'm interested in knows within 5 minutes that I am going to kiss her at some point, and they know any time alone with me means making out / sex. They know where things are headed, they want to kiss me / fuck me if they end up at my place.

So, this might be a case of not sending the right vibes early enough, so she doesn't even see you as a sexual being, which means bedroom = no risk or chance of sex. You trying to kiss her jostles her out of this.

Two: You are blowing yourself out after she intended to fuck you / make out with you.

This is probably more likely, but almost impossible to diagnose over the internet.

Maybe you come across as needy, maybe she is giving the token "we shouldn't do this" and you are backing off instead of agreeing and kissing her anyway.

The fix would be to stop that action / vibe. The actual kiss / escalation happens naturally once you do that, no special techniques needed.

razometer · 2011-12-06T20:35:42+00:00

Before a girl comes into my room, it is clear that something's going to happen. Whenever I start ANY relationship, whether it lasts 1 hour or 5 years, I make my goal very clear. There's no way she'll be surprised if I make a move.

I think that there's a communication issue in your case. How exactly do you manage to get them alone in the bedroom? Like many people said, it's pretty much a guaranteed close if they accept to be alone with you in YOUR ROOM, so I'm curious as to what the conversation leading up to said ''room date'' entailed.

puaqueso · 2011-12-06T23:02:53+00:00

remember this word: kino.

kino. kino kino kino

zquid · 2011-12-06T23:06:26+00:00

... How old are you?

productionx · 2011-12-06T18:10:52+00:00

Was this LMR, or just outright your doing it wrong? Did you ask the girls about their experience?

Better question, were you passive about it? Or were you honest about what you were after?

Marcob10 · 2011-12-06T20:44:41+00:00

What position do you take to watch said movie? Don't sit side to side.

Throw a bunch of pillows at the wall and sit first, then invite her to sit between your laps. Best position for lots of interactions. You can hug her, touch hands, massage her shoulders, play with her hair... It's guaranteed she'll eventually turn around for a kiss or you easily can reach for it.

happywaffle · 2011-12-06T20:49:43+00:00

For future reference: /r/askseddit

SpaceToaster · 2011-12-07T03:54:16+00:00

Hello Mr. StarBeam. I'm going to say that your #1 problem is lack of sexual aggression.

When you are exerting the correct amount of aggression/dominance/assertiveness over a girl, she WILL complement you "my, aren't you aggressive" because a VAST majority of guys fail hard at this.

Sexual chemistry begins the instant you two meet. This is no "getting to know" you time. There is no waiting 3 days before making advances. Hiding your sexuality makes you asexual.

From time to time she will probably turn down your advances. This is fine. This is good. As long as you are playful about it an not weird and frustrated by it you are A.OK in her book. Try to be at the level where you are pushing things forward just enough that she's giving a little token resistance back to make sure that she is not seen as "easy".

throwaway-o · 2011-12-07T04:16:31+00:00

So.

The fundamentals.

You are getting girls into your place. Great.

But the mechanism you're using to do that is probably the "friendship" mechanism.

You don't want to give false impressions. Doesn't help you, doesn't help them.

Use the "flirty" mechanism instead. Telegraph, subtly through body language and NLP, your true intentions. Just as long as you keep those intentions off-the-record in verbal communications, you'll do great.

You want girls in your place. You just don't want them mistakenly* thinking that it's a "friendship situation".

I've had this advice reviewed by a smart woman here.

mandingo8D · 2011-12-06T20:36:09+00:00

Maybe you have bad breath, instead of going in for the kiss just whip your cock out and start fondling yourself.

T-W-Reddit · 2011-12-07T05:51:10+00:00

Fuck her.

sanriver12 · 2011-12-07T09:00:46+00:00

have you checked your breath? seriously

WhiteTiger10 · 2011-12-08T02:54:48+00:00

You're in control. Start off right at the bat with a kiss, upon first meeting or at the end of the first date. You're making your intentions perfectly clear, she follow your lead. Practice makes perfect to. Get lots of dates focus on what you want, don't be pushy but subtly relentless. On, right, remember this: "no" really means "yes"; I'm not a date raper but do not be deterred by a single or a few objections, if she likes your company you'll know. Maybe don't go in for the kill (kiss, lol) so quick. Take some time and let it happen.

dickbiscuit · 2011-12-06T20:53:13+00:00

once you have a girl in your bedroom, you fuck her. grab her wrists, push her down on the bed, and respect the safe word.

Title	Once you get a girl in the bedroom, how do you escalate?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	39
Comments	66
Date	December 6, 2011 4:54 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/n2nlz/once_you_get_a_girl_in_the_bedroom_how_do_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/once-you-get-a-girl-in-the-bedroom-how-do-you.1289102 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289102

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