Thoughts in my head preventing me from approaching

Supergaz · 2017-06-15T07:59:59+00:00

Not true, charisma over everything. A fit body is a plus, but if you are super awkward and out of training with women it's useless.
Being approximately the same status as the women you approach is a help but again, charisma over everything.
Women wait for their white Knight every single day, if you are awesome which you should think you are its all good.
As long as you are not approaching multiple women on a row in the same place without having fun, no one will blame you for trying to get what you want and following basic biology.

Tl Dr, look the best you can look, be proud of who you are and only care what you think. If you feel in adequate improve on what you think you lack until you are proud of yourself. Live up to your own standards.

red_devil0_0 · 2017-06-15T06:24:09+00:00

Wow, i too have the same reasons in my head!

kalolilo · 2017-06-15T12:06:15+00:00

I'm really glad how the advice in this thread is really on the same page, looks like it's coming together and we're getting a really good picture of what game is.

Not saying, that opposing ideas aren't welcome, but after a while, it just becomes clear what works and what doesn't.

Ichikarayarinaosu · 2017-06-15T11:35:51+00:00

If you want to feel better about yourself, watch Todd Valentine clips from RSD. If that opie, dead-eyed freak can make it happen, we can.

greenlittleman · 2017-06-15T09:28:35+00:00

I didn't have any of such thoughts and still approaching was a problem to me for years.

You can don't think about anything at all. And still it would be trouble to approach a girl.

As about look and status - just go to centre of your city at weekend and watch all pairs. Many girls with average guys and many handsome guys with fat girls. You just ignoring this because it is against your world view.

There is no rejection on stage of approach because women don't know who you are and looks is not enough for them to choice mates, otherwise they would be ready for sex after first minute. You can be rejected on stage of dating, but you don't afraid of dates, it is not?

kalolilo · 2017-06-15T12:03:55+00:00

These are the thoughts floating in my head that stop me from approaching. In your experience tell me how true or

Must have a very fit body - this is probably the biggest one. I'm about average weight, exercise occasionally but do have a bit of love handles. I feel women only want the ripped or buff guy.

As long as you're not fat, women don't care as long as you are confident.

Must have very high status - have a huge group of friends (which I dont have) and always be the life of the party. Also must be extremely successful with career (im doing alright, and will get better)

In day game, no one has status, since you and her are alone. Otherwise, status does matter, but as long as you're ahead of the average of your age, you're golden. So, when you're 20, being a student is already excellent, when you're 25, making $70,000 a year is excellent, but when you're 30+, status becomes more and more important to women, since they wanna start a family etc. However, before 30, status is not so hard to get.

Women dont want to be approached - they are in their own world, the last thing they want is some random guy trying to chat them up.

True if the approach is creepy. However, every girl wants to get approached by her prince that sweeps her off her feet.

People will think you're a creep - this is also huge, I'm afraid of appearing like a douchbag in front of others.

Some girls will see you as a creep, some as awesome (40%/60% from my experience)

marthdotsk · 2017-06-15T13:25:22+00:00

1- While it's definitely a bonus, it's not mandatory. Plus, this "advantage" goes away once the approach step is done with if your personality is sub-par.
2- Status also helps, perhaps moreso than being fit. But again, it impacts approaching more than anything else. If your personality's garbage, this will go down the drain.
3- Generally untrue. I mean, sure, everyone could have a bad day here and there, but from a general standpoint, they don't mind being approached, given that the approach is done right.
4- If that was true, that would make anyone who ever procreated a creep by default. Creepiness comes from how the approach is made.

luaudesign · 2017-06-16T12:19:32+00:00

1 - Most girls don't want buff guys, tho the ones that do, really want them. Ripped is very high percentage, but also not necessary.

2 - I, for one, rather work alone than with a wingman.

3 - Wrong. They want something to fucking happen and break them out of their boring routine they can't pull themselves out of. They need your help. Be that event that changes their week.

4 - They won't, and even if they did: fuck 'em. They're cowards watching life pass by while you're taking actions and making something happen. You should care about what path electric signals take in their brains as much as you care what path a fallen leaf takes in a river: nothing at all because it doesn't matter. What you think is what matters. Don't think you're being a creep and you won't be.

souljabri557 · 2017-06-15T18:25:13+00:00

1 just isn't true, I don't know if you see this in your life but most of the guys I used to be most jealous because of their success with women were either fatasses or twigs. I used to be the guy in really good shape always frustrated about it.

2 Having friends around helps a lot. Get some wingmen, joke around with them, and I guarantee people will perceive you as high status. As for the career part, what? Just say you don't like to talk about work or something. I'm a teacher which women find pretty cool but it rarely comes up in conversation.

3 Simple opposite of the truth. People are bored. People are really fucking bored. You're doing girls a favor by giving some excitement in their lives.

4 This is the only point that has some truth to it. Don't game your social circle or friends unless you know what you're doing. Game strangers and this will never be a problem, and use common sense (don't approach a girl right next to the one you just stopped talking to).

rmbarnes · 2017-06-15T09:37:22+00:00

There are plenty of guys without fit bodies getting laid. I got better results being low bf vs being fat, but I've never had a ripped physique. As long as you aren't a fattie or stick thin (will make things harder if you are but you can still pull), you'll be fine.
I fucked loads of girls without having many friends. In terms of job, I recently started earning an income that probably puts me in the top 2 - 3% of people in the UK. Has made no difference. These things may help somewhat for getting a girlfriend for a long term relationship. Has pretty much 0 impact on casual sex.
Women dont want to be approached - People here will tell you women always want to be approached. Bit of a lie. Some do, some don't. You've got to be selfish and focus on what you want.
I struggle with this too. You have to again be selfish, and focus on going after what you want, and disregard others.

StevenConfident · 2017-06-15T11:28:51+00:00

Not required, but it helps. So do it. Starting Strength, three times a week. One of the best decisions in my life.
Not required, but it also helps. So also start working on it. Go to Meetup groups with the same interests as yours and build that social circle. You might even find some girls to your liking there. Try Improv, it's always a nice skill to have. You don't have to be successful in your career, but be ambitious. Be driven. Aim for the stars and fight for it.
Some don't. A vast majority of them do. Women are inherently more social than men. And wouldn't you like if a girl approached you for whatever reason? Guess what, they feel the same. Unless you're some fat stinking dude, of course.
Fuck other people. Do it, and you'll have more balls than 99% of them.

aswin6533 · 2017-06-15T06:33:37+00:00

Yes i too have these problems.So i have'nt thought about having a girlfriend.

Ruggero88 · 2017-06-15T17:30:17+00:00

you must be tall.

Title	Thoughts in my head preventing me from approaching
Author	Leo215
Upvotes	40
Comments	17
Date	June 15, 2017 5:56 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6hd6so/thoughts_in_my_head_preventing_me_from_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thoughts-in-my-head-preventing-me-from-approaching.1289330 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289330

Comments

1 just isn't true, I don't know if you see this in your life but most of the guys I used to be most jealous because of their success with women were either fatasses or twigs. I used to be the guy in really good shape always frustrated about it.

3 Simple opposite of the truth. People are bored. People are really fucking bored. You're doing girls a favor by giving some excitement in their lives.

4 This is the only point that has some truth to it. Don't game your social circle or friends unless you know what you're doing. Game strangers and this will never be a problem, and use common sense (don't approach a girl right next to the one you just stopped talking to).