How long did it take you to get “good” at game?

Lambdal7 · 2018-04-20T13:29:46+00:00

3 years. That being said, what I learned later is that numbers are everything.

So, if you have average game, but you approach 100 women in a month, you get get 5 who want to sleep with you.

hunterpua · 2018-04-20T16:18:01+00:00

when did you start to feel like you were good at it? Like you honestly felt if you wanted to sleep with someone you could because your skills?

2 years.

Did you actually read the books PUAs write or just cherry pick the parts you wanted from the book?

I actually read all the books through to the end when I was a beginner. This is why it took so long for me to get good. Because the first year was pretty much all reading books, watching videos, reading forums, etc. I don't think I did a single approach that first year.

My advice to you, the very first step is to identify what you want to focus on initially. Daygame or night game.

Once you determine that, focus on only that for the time being and look for a way to get rid of approach anxiety even if it isn't that bad for you. Make sure to use a method that involves you actually talking to women, not affirmations, hypnosis, or mindset shifting bullshit. Trust me. Getting yourself out there talking to people as early as possible is crucial for beginners. The longer I waited to approach someone, the harder it was for me to make myself approach.

Personally, I don't believe in rejection therapy because it teaches you to associate an approach with rejection. I recommend a method that makes you associate positive reactions when you approach, like complimenting strangers then walking away immediately. That's much better than making an ass of yourself in public.

So all you do is give compliments. Don't worry about getting numbers or whatever. While you're doing that, read up on what you need to do to get a number. That's all. By the time you've digested what you need to know about getting numbers you will be a lot more comfortable approaching strangers and giving them compliments so you can ramp up your "in-field" work from giving compliments to applying what you've learned about getting numbers.

Basically map out the skills you need to learn in your chosen setting for meeting women. And just study the new skill you need while putting into practice the previous skill you studied up on.

Had I done this I would have progressed a lot faster than I actually did.

(I think my biggest difficulty with PUA material is that the writing style is awful. 10 pages of fluff for 1 page of substance)

Look into Jason Capital's Make Women Want You, Joshua Pellicer's Tao of Badass, or Adam Lyons' Understand Attraction. Very little fluff in those books. Richard la Ruina's The Natural is pretty good too.

Some dating companies offer more value via video than books. RSD, The Natural Lifestyles are good channels to follow on Youtube. Also check out 21 Studios' channel on Youtube because they have full length speeches from a wide variety of dating coaches so it'll be easier for you to check some out before going direct to a specific coach's channel or website.

This is actually really valuable advice because the majority of books I read and videos I watched in that first year were full of useless fluff. I wish someone told me back then which books would be worth my time and which weren't. That would have helped me progress faster too.

I guess the issue I’m having is that I’ve been trying to learn game for about a month now with little to no results. I can confidently open, my transition is eh, and overall, I feel like a fish out of water. I enjoy talking with women, and I’m good at doing it, but I have difficulty doing so is a seductive way. It just ends up being a normal conversation. Her life, a little my life. It‘s a nice conversation, but it doesn’t build any sexual tension.

This is simply due to a lack of knowledge. Obviously you'd feel like a fish out of water, you haven't learned how to breathe oxygen yet. I recommended pretty good books. Some of them are pretty short too. So read up on them.

ImJustSo · 2018-04-20T14:33:16+00:00

About a year and a half or maybe two. I went at it alone, with no knowledge, before I started reading 'The Game' at a buddy's apt "on accident" and I realized I had already internalized things myself. I have continued reading whatever I find interesting, but I've always just developed my own style from the getgo.

WIA20XX · 2018-04-20T16:05:24+00:00

72 nights. 1 summer, going out six nights a week, solo.

Got over finding places to go, approach anxiety, escalation anxiety, logistics, the importance of social dynamics, logistics, dealing with last minute resistance in the first minute, debrief, stopped obsessing over phone calls and texts, and missed connections.

After that it was learning how to juggle, how to deal with girls that want to settle down, etc.

The real game ends up being how to deal with a long term relationship. The second a chick acts up, what reason do I have to stick around?

tab13092 · 2018-04-20T16:24:46+00:00

I mean, it's going to take awhile. You don't just "get good at game" over night. My advice, just keep approaching and using the results as things to internalize/learn from.

That's honestly the best take away from early game development, because a lot of times until you get more comfortable/experienced you'll probably fumble a lot (as we all do). Rather then be left feelings sour, caulk it up as a victory because while you didn't win the battle you surely found some good take aways to win the war.

2018-04-20T18:40:20+00:00

Good at it? If we define that as being confident with women and dating and sex. 2 months. I met a girl right when I started last year so I learned and had a chance to improve myself with immediate feedback from her.

I only meet via dating apps and I’m living the life I dreamed about.

I legit walk around my apartment some times and let out a “FUCK!” As in “holy FUCK my life is awesome!” Randomly as I step back and reflect. I only compare who I am now to who I was before - not others. Keep growing. Keep improving.

enkae7317 · 2018-04-20T19:51:10+00:00

I'm a bit slower than most people. I grew up socially inept and one of the loser kids in high school. So this stuff was brand new to me and took me VERY long to internalize.

I would say roughly 3 years? Until I started seeing success, at least. And even then I still consider myself scrub.

mysteryspoN · 2018-04-20T15:43:37+00:00

A year- but it was worth ig

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-04-20T16:11:02+00:00

Its a lifetime thing really, nobody gets good at it until they're too old to matter.

Completelycluelessly · 2018-04-20T17:06:36+00:00

1 year.

Something I've learned is that sexual tension is built by your tone and body language. Not necessarily what you say.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2018-04-20T18:55:30+00:00

Short answer, about 5 years. Long answer:

You never stop learning. You just keep peelin back the layers of your potential as you push harder and adopt new goals. When I first started I was happy a girl stopping to talk and being nice to me. Now I’m thinking about how to structure my social life around having a harem of cool girls that I can date and sleep with.

The point when I felt like I finally “got it” was when I finally didn’t have to turn on my “game mode”. When I finally integrated the habits of a successful PUA into my normal life without coming off like a cheesy player, I finally felt free. This level of integration only happened after struggling through multiple relationships, breakups, hookups, rejections (probably thousands) and heartbreaks. I even gave up on “game” for over a year. But what you’ll realize is that the “game” is all around you and always happening whether you believe in it or not. It comes together when you focus on getting better.

kibberty · 2018-04-20T19:44:37+00:00

I'll let you know :) 1.5 years in so far for me.

scrader · 2018-04-20T19:47:00+00:00

Will be different for everyone

If you're a tall guy with a handsome face, you can be amazing at getting laid/have good 'game' with just skimming through one book on seduction

For some, they might need to get their game too a Good-like level before they can even snag the odd average looking girl.

There's all kinds of factors at play

KingHavana · 2018-04-20T21:19:09+00:00

I didn't get okay at dark souls till the dlc of dark souls two. Like the whole first game I was way too focused on blocking. And in the second I learned to dodge a bit but nothing like after the fight with the fume knight. He taught me how to play games in the series, and it made DS3 much easier for me.

2018-04-20T22:20:55+00:00

1.5 years still no lays haha. In College if that matters (a serious school tho) and little success past approaching and getting numbers/contact info.

zfgee · 2018-04-21T01:55:26+00:00

Before I made any effort to learn this stuff I already believed I could sleep with anyone I wanted. IF I met them. But I never approached.

Only difference is now I approach when I see something I want.

Title	How long did it take you to get “good” at game?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	21
Date	April 20, 2018 1:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8dndal/how_long_did_it_take_you_to_get_good_at_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-long-did-it-take-you-to-get-good-at-game.1295820 https://theredarchive.com/post/1295820

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