Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

cyber_rigger · 2010-04-15T18:12:39+00:00

I call it the "I can do better than that" syndrome.

If something is too easy, people feel that it's not the best they can do.

They want to take the "video game" up to the next challenge level.

The problem is that sometimes, instead of choosing a more challenging game they choose a more difficult user interface.

redprophet · 2010-04-16T11:34:57+00:00

-sigh-

Okay, fuckhead listen up. Women are not some alien species that use cyphers to communicate to us. They are human just like you.

Now in a male to male friendship, would you rather hang out with the awesome bastard who although he's a dick does really cool things like go sky diving and shows you a good time?

or would you rather hang out with wimpy door mat who all he does is compliment you, boost your self-steem, and is boring and predictable as your grandmother.

This is why "nice guys" lose. You can be a nice guy, you can be gentle, when you think she deserves or needs it but GROW some fucking BALLS and don't be a pussy. Be spontaneous, don't worship her, show her a good time.

Be the person you'd want to date.

antioche · 2010-04-15T17:23:22+00:00

that was me, before my first heartbreak at age 16

OneEyedCheshire · 2010-04-15T19:52:56+00:00

I use to be exactly what she described a 'Nice Guy' to be and had constant problems. Now I like myself more, have confidence in my life, and treat my girlfriend as an adult partner as opposed to some clingy thing. things are now great.

This girl is spot on

ymrhawk · 2010-04-15T17:38:14+00:00

tldr: have a screening process. don't date women that write or think like this. she will never stop judging and re-evaluating if you are worthy of her precious fertility. this is the type of woman that is ripe for divorce. i'm a big believer in screening for warmth in a girl. but shes right...being clingy or not making her work for your affection is always a bad idea.

impotent_rage · 2010-04-15T17:56:07+00:00

I've seen this article reposted several times in several different reddits, but it is worth all the attention it gets. It's pretty much the definitive article on what a Nice Guy is and how to recognize the syndrome and avoid the trap. Read this article carefully, and if you recognize yourself in it, you know what you need to work on.

One part which I felt was especially insightful, and got beyond the symptoms of the problem but instead named the real problem - "A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him."

2010-04-15T17:04:35+00:00

tldr: don't be clingy.

nooneinparticular · 2010-04-15T18:38:56+00:00

Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only I can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here."

Ouch, I'm totally guilty of that.

mynewname · 2010-04-15T17:43:51+00:00

Nice Guys™ have a special (and deserved) place of contempt among feminists. Their sense of self is entirely defined by who they're with. Anything that eagerly molds itself to the shape of its surroundings has no form of its own.

lonelyguy15 · 2010-04-19T04:14:11+00:00

Wow, that opened my eyes.

rmbarnes · 2010-04-15T22:04:40+00:00

While much of what was written about nice guys here is true, there is no denying many woman are very attracted to asshole guys with sociopathic tendencies.

MoreNerdThanHipster · 2010-04-15T20:08:43+00:00

What a mean girl!

jaysonbank · 2010-04-15T23:07:40+00:00

Ah this is still all bullshit.

I've known girls who were nice to me and I've known girls who were completely bitchy to me. The fact that they were nasty or nice made absolutely zero difference in how much or little I wanted to fuck them and whether or not I would stick with them.

Attraction is attraction. It varies between people and genders but at the end of the day girls are attracted to you for various reasons and usually being a 'nice-guy' or an 'ass-hole' just doesn't really factor into those reasons. Likewise, I don't particularly care if that cute petite brunette across the room is a total bitch or the worlds most boring nerd - it really has very little to do with how much I want to lick her pussy - really, I don't give a fuck!

Most girls are the same, they have an idea of attraction in their head and they want the guy who fits that. He's probably nicely taller than her, decent looking depending on her type, a little bit of muscle, sexy eyes, looks confident - walks straight, doesn't fidget, can look her in the eye, has a nice voice, can turn her on and doesn't look like a tramp or a crack addict. This is a guy girls want to fuck. It's really really simple. If he also happens to be the kind of guy who'll cheat on you, hit you or not call you then thats not going to suddenly turn a girl off him, not for a while anyway. But likewise, if he's needy and buys flowers for a coffee date, it may still not turn her off if he can carry himself as described.

What you do doesn't particularly matter at the start as long as you can attract someone in a load of other ways.

And you know what else? I've been a nice guy and I've been a heartless cunt. I've been jealous of "those guys" and I've been one of those guys. I've been fucked around and I've fucked people around. I'm definitely not perfect but I think I got over the idea that women only like ass-holes and I think I understand why.

2010-04-17T21:33:18+00:00

Title	Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	71
Comments	36
Date	April 15, 2010 3:43 PM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/brcj2/why_nice_guys_are_often_such_losers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-nice-guys-are-often-such-losers.1310147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1310147

Comments