A few months ago, I mentioned that I was going to write an angryemail. I've been trying to hold it in, but can't anymore. Here'sthe deal:

The seduction community is dead.

It has been replaced by the seduction industry.

And this has not been a good thing for men.

When I first discovered this world, there was very little happeningcommercially--mostly just Ross Jeffries doing seminars. Eventually,Mystery invented the concept of the seduction workshop and DavidDeAngelo brought modern Internet marketing into the subculture.

But most of the other "gurus" weren't in the game for financial reasons. They were there to share their knowledge. And overall, this shared body of knowledge was something that almost every PUA--whether rivals or not, commercial or not--regularly added to.

But things have splintered now, largely due to the intensecompetition for the AFC dollar. Though there were inklings of thishappening at the end of the Game, if there has been any negativeimpact of the success of the book, it has been the explosion of cheap marketing and unqualified instructors. Where the experts once sat around and discussed newer and better techniquesfor approaching and attracting women, they now sit around anddiscuss better ways to manipulate the men who want to learn this.

It's become confusing for guys getting into the game now, as opposed to when it was centralized, because there are so many search-optimized websites and forums with a commercial agendafeeding them completely contradictory information and false claims.

Although this has been going on for a while, I'm writing this now because I've been getting an increasing number of emailsfrom guys saying they spent all this money on a seminar or aworkshop and they had a bad experience and now they're bitter andangry about the game. They often end up becoming "trolls" andstarting "hater" websites instead of continuing down the path of self-improvement.

So no matter what teacher or course or product you choose, be awareof the following ways in which the seduction industry is hurtingmen:

  1. By the Blind Leading the Blind: Many guys take one workshop orseminar, memorize the principles, then start a companyregurgitating them to others with perhaps a couple minor nuances.The problem is that learning the game is different than applyingit. Make sure whoever is teaching you has mastered the skillsthemselves (and made substantial progress with their own personal development) before teaching them.

  2. By Creating False Distinctions as Marketing Tools: It neverceases to amaze me when a guy comes up and says, "I only do directgame," then proceeds to tell me he's still a virgin. Any company orperson who tells you to only do direct game or indirect game orfill-in-the-blank game fails to understand the bedrock principleson which the game rests. Simply put, you can do direct game if thewoman you're approaching is already attracted to you or if yourstatus in the room is higher than hers. You do indirect game ifshe's not yet attracted or her status is higher. Same goes forpeople who try to teach only day game or night game, or sarging a particular ethnicity or nationality. Any differences are relatively minor, and easy to adapt to once one has anoverall understanding of the general principles of human nature and sexual selection.

  3. By Naturals Teaching Unnaturals: It's easy for students toadmire a super-good-looking guy who was always great with women.But often (though not always), what appears to work for these guysis not going to work for a guy who's been struggling with women allhis life. What often happens in these workshops is a sort of peerpressure exerted on the student to do what the teacher thinks isthe "cool" thing to do, even if it doesn't produce results for thestudent. Many of them are simply teaching the same "common sense"clichés that have been around forever; don't work for the average guy; and made me, before I discovered the community, feel like success with women was a hopeless project.

  4. By a Deliberate Misunderstanding of the Principles: Largely as aresult of the VH1 show the Pickup Artist, it's become easy for bothattack marketers and a student's cynical friends to confuse Mysterywith the message, and dismiss it all as "dressing up like an idiotin a feather boa and doing magic tricks for girls." As any of youwho've read Rules of the Game know, there is no advice for anyoneto peacock or do magic. THE POWER OF THE GAME IS IN THE PRINCIPLES OF HUMAN NATURE AND THE SUBTLETIES OF SOCIAL INTERACTION AND DECISION-MAKING. And if a guy is substituting one form of neediness (supplicating on a date) for another (doing tricks or wearing things to impress someone), they're missing the point: which is to stand out in a unique, compelling, non-needy way instead of being like every other boring guy. To succeed, you need to come from a place of curiosity, positivity, and enjoyment of life.

  5. By People who Want a Cult Following: Many men get into the game not necessarily to meet women, but to feel socially accepted. And once they start to get praise and followers, it becomes a drug addiction. The problem is that one doesn't grow by acquiring sycophants, but by hanging around with those who are better than oneself and learning from them. This also happens with many female coaches with no understanding of their own attraction process, who simply like basking in the attention of men and then taking their money. So beware of PUAs more interested in collecting "likes" on their Facebook page and putting down their competitors than the real-world success of their students.

  6. By Pretending as if Women Somehow Want a "Different" Type ofGame Every Year: My favorite marketing ruse is when guys say onestyle is out of date and another is newer. As anyone who's read TheArt of Seduction knows, the same patterns that were true in greathistorical romances continue to work today. Human nature doesn'tevolve that quickly. And even though the specific words and linesone uses may change or need to be refreshed, the principles bywhich they work will always be true: for you, your children, yourgrandchildren. The knowledge and techniques can improve from year to year, but they're not going to just change.

  7. By Getting Obsessed with Scene Politics Instead of One's OwnSelf-Improvement: Which I'm on the verge of doing with this email,so going to end this list now with the following thought...

The original purpose of the Game and Rules of the Game was tohelp guys like myself, who felt like they were always sitting onthe sidelines, watching everyone else have all the fun and successwith women. And maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, therewas a hope that this would lead to a positive men's self-improvementmovement. But without good resources and trustworthy teachers, thatdream will not come true.

Over the holidays, since I have a little downtime while waiting formy new book to be printed, I'm going to think of what I can do to try to help set things right. I know other PUAs have been doing this: RossJeffries for example started a blog calling companies out ondeceptive marketing practices. I'm less interested in deceptivemarketing and more in deceptive teaching. So as I'm thinking ofways to help people learn the right way and advance the body ofknowledge, feel free to send over any of your own ideas. And if you want to repost this on your own blog, just email and ask.

Best,Neil
The Neil Strauss VIP List8491 Sunset Blvd #348West Hollywood, CA 90069

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