When does aggressive become pushy?

LesbianPUA · 2011-01-11T15:09:27+00:00

I would look at it like this... what if you had been in a club instead of a train and the exact same thing happened? It wouldn't be cool for him to assume he could come home with you because you made out with him. What if he tried to follow you home from the club after you said no? That would be creepy. It's basically the same thing. He was a dick.

jagermeistr · 2011-01-11T16:43:15+00:00

You set a boundary and stuck to it. You didn't want him coming home with you and communicated that straight up. Don't let his bad behavior after you made yourself clear affect you or make you second guess yourself.

Beyond that, just be careful. I'm not saying to become overly protective of yourself but there are weird people out there (especially on the 515 NJ Transit drunk train). Throw in alcohol and some uncomfortable situations can happen.

cheddarchexmix · 2011-01-11T18:23:27+00:00

Random drunk dude on a train at 5-6am? You can do better! Guys who can't take no for an answer are bad news.

intjpua · 2011-01-11T20:38:59+00:00

Don't give DTF signals if you aren't DTF, and you'll probably avoid this sort of thing in the future. Making out on a late night train with a guy you just met after you've both been out partying is a pretty strong signal that you're looking to get laid. He went into "I'm getting laid" mode, which is, for some guys, extremely aggressive (which many girls find to be a huge turn on).

I'm not saying he was right to act the way he did. He definitely was not. Dude was acting like a petulant child by the end of the ride. But, you played your part in getting to that point.

You did fine in the end. As a woman learning seduction you definitely need to keep strong boundaries on acceptable behavior, as it's easier for you to end up in a dangerous situation than it is for the guys here. When a guy crosses that boundary into territory that makes you uncomfortable, and isn't taking any hints, shutting him down hard may be required. You don't want that kind of guy in your life or even just in your bed for one night.

BTW-I'm really pleased to see more female sedditors posting field reports. It's a great counterpoint and provides good insight into the mind of women on the prowl.

RobJudge · 2011-01-11T18:45:13+00:00

You really didn't make any mistakes. You were dealing with a drunk guy who obviously was desperate for sex. Chalk this one up to creepiness and don't kick yourself over it. The blame's on him.

firstfieldreport · 2011-01-11T18:47:45+00:00

He was way out of line. But, I've got to ask, why are you making out with random drunk guys on a train? If you were trying to pick him up, you should have held off on the makeout/sleeping on his arm. These are more than mere IOIs, especially to a drunk and horny dude who didn't score anyone in the city.

Not saying be a prude, but you should be more selective next time. Where in NJ are you btw?

philosarapter · 2011-01-11T21:41:46+00:00

Drunk guy was desperate. Next time, don't kiss strangers like that. You start up his sex drive, and after that they becoming persistent puppies.

RedErin · 2011-01-11T21:52:35+00:00

Definitely not too bitchy. I would have gotten in serious angry mode way sooner than you did.

Title	When does aggressive become pushy?
Author	geneveve [recovered]
Upvotes	8
Comments	14
Date	January 11, 2011 2:28 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f0812/when_does_aggressive_become_pushy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-does-aggressive-become-pushy.1314428 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314428

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