[X-Post] Women's Perspective on Being Approached

BROTALITY · 2011-11-16T17:56:48+00:00

No "touching" either, creepiest guy I've ever dealt with put his arm around me while we were riding the city bus, we were in the same college classes and had talked to each other once or twice but that instantly made me want to run away as fast as I could.

Only to be followed up by:

Why would anyone think that is a good idea? That's just straight up social retardation. We're taught "keep your hands to yourself" before kindergarten.

OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

frogma · 2011-11-16T13:36:29+00:00

Saw this last night and wanted people to see it. There’s some good shit in this post, but mostly shit that’s basically common sense- and some of it is pretty bad IMO.

But this is a good example of why you can’t necessarily take girls’ advice at face value. I saw a few girls talking about kino being a horrible idea (in response to a girl who mentioned that a guy immediately put his arm around her shoulder when they were on a bus or something). Obviously I wholly disagree with that (and a few other people did too).

A whole lot of the comments seemed to only be thinking about things from the girl’s POV, so they were essentially like “Give me space, don’t say this or that, don’t linger,” etc. Now especially with the “Give me space” shit, not that I disagree with it, but you gotta realize it’s coming from a unique perspective that isn’t necessarily relevant to you. Why? Because if you’re really gonna focus on “giving her space” more than something like “Kino like a boss,” your mindset simply isn’t gonna be too great. You have to remember, girls deal with all types of guys- so they deal with chodes, and assholes, and creeps- a huge variety of people. In other words, when they give generalized advice, it really seems like it’s partly so they don’t have to deal with more guys like that (although that’s just inevitable- that’ll never change).

So when a girl gives advice that says “Don’t touch me,” what she’s really saying is “I’ve dealt with a lot of creeps who don’t know how to kino correctly, so as a response to that, all I can say is ‘don’t touch me.’”

A large number of comments basically seemed to be “Just talk to me like a normal human being!” as if that’s totally groundbreaking advice that guys have never tried before. What she’s really saying is “Let me decide if I want to do anything with you- if you’re a creep or a chode, I’m still gonna blow you off. If you’re really cool, that’s less likely to happen.” In other words, she’s not thinking about things from your perspective- she’s thinking about everything from her perspective as someone who doesn’t hit on girls. She gets hit-on, so she’s only experiencing it as the “observer,” or the “audience.” She aint the “magician,” so she can’t provide that perspective for you. The magician would say “Bro, it’s all in the casual kino- even better if she doesn’t even react to physical touch." Whereas the girl would just say “Don’t touch me ever, at all, unless I let you.” Hopefully you understand what I mean when I say there’s 2 different perspectives here, and one of them shouldn’t really be relevant to you.

All that being said, you will find some good things from that post, so I recommend you look through it a bit. Basically what seemed to be the "ideal" approach was to do a casual situational opener in some place like a coffee shop. Open-ended questions were mentioned a lot. Actually, I saw a ton of shit that we talk about here (it's funny how so many people bash seddit, but turn around and do some of the same exact shit we talk about).

rmbarnes · 2011-11-17T16:39:01+00:00

The trouble with all of these girls' comments is that they all describe how not to make girls feel uncomfortable during an unsuccessful pickup, rather than telling them how pickup a woman successfully.

Ignore.

Title	[X-Post] Women's Perspective on Being Approached
Author	frogma
Upvotes	50
Comments	17
Date	November 16, 2011 1:36 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mecq6/xpost_womens_perspective_on_being_approached/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/x-post-womens-perspective-on-being-approached.1324956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324956

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