How to be playful and fun with someone you've just met?

DesignMyself · 2012-02-27T18:03:25+00:00

Don't say anything serious for the first 5 or 10 minutes. Everything is a joke or an obvious lie or you give a straight answer and start exaggerating to silly extremes. What do you do? You're an astronaut. Who do you know here? No one. You wandered in because you could smell the food outside. That crappy song that's playing is your favorite song because it reminds you of chasing butterflies in your childhood.

Don't hog the conversation. Don't get stuck in a entertainer role. From all this nonsense you can conversation-thread to a much wider topic of conversation. Space, what food smells the best, cheesy pop songs you can't help but love, childhood hobbies you miss, etc.

swamy_g · 2012-02-27T17:11:58+00:00

Staring games, tickle fight, piggyback ride to the next bar, all this probably after the first round of drinks

edit: these approaches are best on a date or when you already got to know the person, I guess OP is asking about cold approaching.

aqckaccnt · 2012-02-27T17:34:57+00:00

make a joke about yourself, something funny or odd that you did... shows a sense of humor and opens the idea that because you are comfortable to joke about yourself, then whoever else is fair game also. Its not what you say but how you say it. Say anything with confidence and it comes across as ok and natural. Saying something with an unsure attitude and hesitation will make others hesitate as well. Its like the comics who say the most offending things but with a smile.

Chakosa · 2012-02-27T18:22:48+00:00

"What's that on your shirt?" [point to spot about halfway down her shirt]

She looks down.

Run your hand up and poke her in the face - "Jeez, I can't believe you fell for that old joke."

Always gets a laugh.

orangeapplegrape · 2012-02-27T20:30:41+00:00

I have always had trouble striking up conversations but in the last couple of days I have been making progress. What I do when I meet someone is try and bring up a shared experience and then make some funny comment about it to make her feel connected.

What openings do you typically use to talk to people? Maybe what you bring up is too important that they think you are trying to get information from them. Are you smiling? I'm curious to see what you are doing because I suspect I may need to help as well.

testmypatience · 2012-02-27T23:17:08+00:00

I have a hard time with it because I am an asshole. I tend to feel that people should prove themselves worthy of my time and efforts. HOWEVER... this is a shitty shitty way to go about life. Should have fun for yourself and if they are into it then great, if not then that shouldn't be your problem. Life is about having a good time and not at others expense. (quick note - some people will take offense on really dumb things... don't worry about those people... plus you don't want them around anyhow)

Fixing it? Yea... lots and lots of reminding yourself to stop being that way. Look, for me at least I have 20+ years of my habits. It is a bitch to change those habits especially with the stress loads I have in life.

Take time to work on yourself and your life and to have a damn good time. Exercise and staying physically and socially active is important to this. That doesn't mean you have to be great at it, it just means you have to start and keep doing it.

actionpotential · 2012-02-28T05:09:27+00:00

I don't agree with those who say you should answer every question with nonsense and basically behave like a child with ADD. However, being a 'serious' person myself, it really helped me to realize I was treating pickup like a task to do or an accomplishment to achieve, while it is much more like a game.

You see, as we grow up we are discouraged to play and encouraged to work. And the truth is there's no other point in pickup than having fun. So my advice: relax and do not think about what you want to get out of your interactions. And if all you do in your day is 'serious' as well, you might try taking dance lessons, drawing, playing a game of lasertag, or doing any sillyness you can think of. The playfulness will stick with you afterwards.

totalradass · 2012-02-28T05:33:02+00:00

Broaden your definition of what is possible. If you have momentum you can pull off the most retardiculous shit in the night club setting.

I just act like a big kid. I just want to have fun. If a girl asks me what I do and I say professional wrestler then pick her up and spin her in a circle, they almost always go for it, because they can tell that I'm having fun, and they want to have fun too. Who doesn't like being a kid again?

Fake edit: Don't pick up really drunk girls and spin them over your head. I mean unless you are trying to create a whirling vortex of vomit.

Title	How to be playful and fun with someone you've just met?
Author	RecoveringAFC88
Upvotes	30
Comments	32
Date	February 27, 2012 4:54 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q89tc/how_to_be_playful_and_fun_with_someone_youve_just/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-playful-and-fun-with-someone-youve-just.1329018 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329018

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