Progressing from opening to kissing, help!

hjjslu · 2013-02-05T20:33:38+00:00

Hmm, I have like the exact opposite problem. Once I know a girl, I don't have much trouble kissing them; but I still feel really weird just randomly starting a conversation with someone I don't know. I'll try to help you out if you try to help me.

Basically just look for signs of interest... is she voluntarily spending time with you? She's not a charity organization; she's doing it because she wants things to progress with you. There's sign number 1. Just because she wants things to progress, doesn't mean that she's READY to kiss yet though... so look for one more indicator of interest- she's laughing a lot, playing with her hair, or playfully touching your arm or something. At that point... ask her to come with you somewhere more private... back your house or wherever, just somewhere you can be alone. If she agrees, then you have your third indicator of interest right there so you should theoretically be able to go for it whenever you are alone and ready or you can wait for the first "awkward" moment and go for it then. Basically just make some light conversation when you are alone, let that conversation die pretty quickly, and if she likes you she'll be like "so, what do you want to do" or at least giving off that vibe if not saying it out loud and that's the awkward moment you need. Don't say "can I kiss you?" or "I'm going to kiss you," just go for it and she'll be receptive.

KickassAcademy · 2013-02-06T03:31:06+00:00

Focus on escalating touching so the leap to the kiss isn't so drastic

So you are introduced, you give her a bear hug. She makes you laugh, you grab her arm. She says something cute, you pull her in and give her a one armed hug and then push her off. BE MORE TOUCHY

Keep this up and it will feel normal for you to have your back to the bar with your hands at her hips. You can pull her into your hips as well and just keep talking. If your verbal game is tight, then you are just waiting for her to get in your splash zone.

What's your splash zone, you ask? It is anywhere where her face has invaded your face's personal space. Anywhere inside about 10 inches from your mouth. You may also notice strong eye contact or her letting silences linger, though some girls are more nervous and will stop at simply getting close to your mouth.

If she is hanging out there, it's go time. You don't even need anything clever. You just smirk, put your hand under her ear (I like this part, anyway) and go 90% of the way. She'll meet you. You really DO NOT need any clever lines, just a continuous chain of physical escalation so the kiss is right there. And balls.

If you are new and feel like you need a line as training wheels go with "If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to kiss you." If she doesn't run away, kiss her.

Primital · 2013-02-05T20:34:46+00:00

Kino. If you've got the material and all down, practice kino!

nittutt · 2013-02-05T22:27:49+00:00

Usually i just say "EY!" point at her, look her in the eyes, then kiss her. Works well : )

oreopimp · 2013-02-07T01:11:33+00:00

Unless you have a major green light right off the bat, always do it by leading them in small steps (big steps like a out of nowhere lunge kiss will almost always get shut down). Kino (hand on her lower back / forearm / etc)...pay attention to how she is around you, her energy her demeanor, how she talks, her eye contact...eventually try either hand caressing or holding if she's receptive you might as well kiss her soon after...look at her, say "come here" pull her close to you and kiss her. Remember: if in your gut you feel you should be doing something, like kissing her, you should probably be kissing her.

Ex. girl I'm seeing now, she was slow to warm up (think low partner count, been a while since she has been w someone intimately), so it took a lot of small steps, lots of kino, hand on the back, forearm, lots of touching, resting my hand on her leg etc...next date while out walking I said 'here give me your hand' walked hand in hand...later we were outside a bar and I knew in my gut I should kiss her so I said "you should remember this spot" she asks why and I say "come here" and kiss her for 10-20 seconds and pull away, hug her close and say lets go back inside.

Another thing: She should feel safe in you leading the situation and should know through your actions you are the sexy guy but that although you respect her you know she wants the same things as you and will push her boundaries and will help get her to a place where she can open up to you. You should feel in control. Maybe even that there is something about her that makes you not able to control your self just a little.

BeatBoxing_Abe · 2013-02-05T21:11:44+00:00

Do it from a high value standpoint when you are both having fun. Doing it from a lull is not really the best idea. Also, you can work up to it. Like first claw her, then hug her then pull back then go back in for the kiss. Just charging in for the kiss with no physical rapport doesnt always work out so well

reallytricky · 2013-02-05T23:10:34+00:00

One word: KINO! Throughout your encounter from meeting to fucking kino is an essential part. You need it to make her physically comfortable around you and to lubricate your way to kissing and then to sex. I think theres a link on the sidebar to the kino escalation ladder and basically follow that. So basically when you initiate the conversation or you meet a new person, get physical with them. Shake their hand or place your hand on their shoulder for a brief moment while introducing yourself or talking. Use light elbow or shoulder touches in the beginning as well. Also keep a slight angle to the person you are talking to esp if in a group. From there on you escalate the kino to light shoulder and hip touches to maybe some half hugs / hugs. Also get slightly into her personal space. Once it progresses and you are starting to make a connection with her get face to face with her and maybe move slightly closer. You should escalate the kino to drags and touching her hips e.g. in some deep moment. This also gives you a great chance to kiss close. Remember to pay attention to how she reacts to your kino (esp her body language). Next would come something like putting your arm around her, hips and/or legs touching, touch her face while whispering. If you've gotten this far, good shes most likely attracted to you. So this is the point where you will the latest want to kiss-close. Swirl her hair, put your hand on her neck and go for it.

and remember if the situation isnt ideal for the coming kino escalation, move her, you are in control as the alpha male.

what I myself tend to do is first chat up some chicks at a club/bar, kino and escalate. If I feel that shes someone Id want to take home ill isolate her and go for a kiss close. How I do this is commonly just by taking the girl outside and finding a place to sit which isnt right next to the entrance so theres some privacy. Chat with her for a while and kino, put my arm around her and make her turn towards me, lock eyes, and go for it (or something similar to this scenario). I almost always isolate the girl though, makes it much easier and more comfortable. Sometimes it'll happen on the dance floor, other times while sitting somewhere, but most of the time outside. If its of any worth the outside thing has never failed me.

edit: lower level kino can always be used while escalating, but usually you cant jump up too many levels.

GentlemenOfLeisure · 2013-02-06T03:34:57+00:00

The look!

When there's a lull in the convo Look into her eyes, look down at her lips, look back into her eyes an go for it G.

Only1nDreams · 2013-02-06T03:55:56+00:00

Just go for it. It's been said before, but fortune favors the bold. The worst thing to happen is she'll dodge it or stop you. The end of the world as we know it right? If it feels right, look at her for a few seconds, smile briefly, then fucking plant one, dude.

DJ_GiantMidget · 2013-02-06T05:23:01+00:00

I've had the same problem, I realized that you should just go for it. The girl won't freak out. My favorite move is when I'm next to a girl and we've been hitting it off during a moment that's silent I take my hand and turn her head towards mine and go in... That works like 90% of the time with me

edge94 · 2013-02-06T02:09:06+00:00

As said many times in this thread kino. Here's a really good video on the progression of touching. It talks about in a club setting but just give it a watch and you'll see how it could apply to your situation. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=WWWox6JtECw#t=16s

KaptainKid · 2013-02-05T23:15:53+00:00

Ask her if you she wants you to kiss her, if she says "yes" obviously you know the rest. If she says "I don't know" or "Maybe" say "Let's find out and kiss her". If she says "No" say, "I didn't say I wanted to, it just looked like you had something on your mind."

Golden.

EDIT: Also, look up the "Kino Escalation Ladder". You should be initiating some other things before just going for the kiss. (ie: hand shake > cheek brush > hand squeeze > kiss) Just an example, but there should be other touching going on before you just right to it.

Title	Progressing from opening to kissing, help!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	February 5, 2013 8:07 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/17y978/progressing_from_opening_to_kissing_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/progressing-from-opening-to-kissing-help.1346895 https://theredarchive.com/post/1346895

Comments