What makes a girl's higher lay count a bad thing?

jacks1000 · 2014-04-03T03:10:32+00:00

Higher risk of STDs (remember, new strains of STDs evolve all the time, and we have only identified certain ones)

Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior

Has likely already pair bonded - and pair broken - with many other men

An instinctual revulsion at cuckolding, even if it's symbolic

Ask yourself - what is the optimal number of penises you want your future LTR to have had in her mouth and pussy before she settled down with you? One? Ten? 100?

rico_montoya · 2014-04-03T03:11:03+00:00

Not a bad thing at all. More power to her.

Just never would qualify as someone who I would want as the mother of my children.

Taranos · 2014-04-03T03:13:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Piroko · 2014-04-03T03:37:17+00:00

I have heard this before but never seen any studies or actual evidence stating as much.

Because you never bothered to google for them.

The National Survey of Family Growth, which is conducted by the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (a federal agency, basically the NASA of medicine) has proven beyond any shadow of a doubt that not only does sexual partner count predict the likelihood of a future divorce (and that the prediction is a positive correlation, more partners equals greater likelihood), it also showed that the effect is more pronounced for women than for men.

The latest set of hard data, if you care to wade through it, is here.

2014-04-03T08:55:02+00:00

The logical reason is that dick is a drug in many ways. The high of riding the carousel, the validation-heights of being the hot girl in the club, getting banged and getting pedestalled by different guys, etc, is honestly similar for girls to coke. Meaning that when she is trying to quit and go steady with you, her number / her sluttiness is a direct representation of how hard the pull will be back to the carousel. Or, alternatively if she is a "relationship-hopper" who always does 6 mo relationships with dudes then gets her hypergamy on and branch-swings to a more exciting guy, then her number tells you how "addicted" she is to this behavior.

She will tend to get burned out on the whole process and just start doing it to do it. Like an addict, she isn't getting the same kick out of it anymore, but she does it because it brings her back to a similar place of mind and escape. Higher lay count, higher % that she is "burnt out" on the whole dating thing and doesn't have the same wide-eyed wonder. I want her BEFORE she lost that spark, when everything is magical and beautiful to her, before she has been on the ups and downs of either being a plate or being a GF.

Plus, don't be obtuse on purpose. You are counting every valid reason for discriminating against high sex count women because there is no study proving it, but that doesn't mean the logic is invalid. The logic doesn't have to be proved - if I say that women are more emotional, I do not need to actually look at a brain-scan of increased emotional activity during controlled stimuli to know that. You are being like the r/fitness guys who obvious principles because there is no scientific proof. There are already plenty of TRP threads on this subject, some of which were linked below, and with all of this information, if you still cannot see why lay count matters, you are being obstinate on purpose. Which is fine, just acknowledge you are doing it.

mordanus · 2014-04-03T03:25:33+00:00

Would you take the dog home that had a history of biting people or the one that's never bitten anyone?

Honestly though this isn't a red pill theory thing. This is a humanity thing. We don't find women attractive that have had a lot of men in their lives. We like to think that the woman that we are with loves only us. We want to be the one who rules her heart. If we find she has slept with tons of men then we find that "only me" mentality to be gone. That doesn't mean that we have to leave her, we just don't make her into a serious relationship. We can fuck her and use her just like every other man she has been with and that seems to be the kind of relationship that she's ok with anyways so win win.

If you are looking for a more scientific approach look into how women have diminished ability to pair bond after each man she fucks.

noblepaladin · 2014-04-03T04:05:31+00:00

First of all, it is not bad that a girl has a high partner count. It's good, men love sluts. They simply don't want to marry them, which is what I think you are actually talking about.

Is it because past promiscuity means she is more likely to cheat or throw away a good relationship over a small problem? I have heard this before but never seen any studies or actual evidence stating as much.

Trick question because it is hard to define or measure "cheating" (ex: sex during temporary breakups don't count, blowjobs isn't sex, "open" relationships, etc) or "throwing away a good relationship", so obviously scientific studies on such topics do not exist. However, scientific studies do exist showing that people with high partner counts have difficult pair bonding (measurable in brain studies) and it correlates with higher divorce rate (measurable as there are court records). Also, cheating and such is actually not the primary concern, it is simply the juiciest topic for gossip. A girl can simply break up with you and date someone else. That is far more common than cheating and it is still a very negative outcome. Girls who cannot pair bond are more likely to break up with you to try the new flavor of the month. And if she didn't pair bond with the last 36 guys, and you are #37, what makes you think she will pair bond with you? She has already established her modus operandi. I don't care if she never cheated on the previous 36 guys. She did not pair bond with any of them. Even if some divine being guaranteed that nobody would ever cheat again, it still doesn't do me any good (if my goal is marriage) if she breaks up with me after 2 months, like she did with the 36 guys before me.

At the end of the day, this boils down to something similar to the "not all women are like that" argument. Logically it is true, not all women are like that, there are always exceptions. We all know that. But we are talking about sexual strategy here, not proving that every single one of the 3 billion women "are like that". And with strategy, you end up with decision theory. You must make a choice with imperfect and incomplete information. We know that assuming "all women are like that" will create a lot of false positives. But would you play a game of Russian roulette? You put one bullet in a 6 chamber gun, spin it, point it at your head, and pull the trigger. If you get an empty chamber, I'll give you $100. If you get the bullet, you die. Would you take the bet? Nobody would take this deal. Your choice to never pull the trigger is identical to assuming that there is a bullet in every chamber. You will make false positives 5 out of 6 times. You would actually be better off 5/6 of the time if you make the bet. But still, not pulling the trigger is the optimal strategy.

So, when given the binary choice of having a long term relationship or marriage with a slut or with a woman that has a low partner count, which one would you choose? We believe that the latter has the best expected outcome. Our decision to choose the woman with low partner count is indistinguishable from assuming all sluts are bad. This point is the reason why this is brought up so often. We are not trying to prove or claim that all sluts are bad, we are just making the decision that is expected to have the best outcome. It's like the Russian roulette example where having 1 bullet in 6 chambers results in the same strategy has if there were 6 bullets in 6 chambers (i.e. you never pull the trigger). Pointing out that there are false positives is not a valid argument against the strategy. "Not all sluts are like that" is the same as saying "Not all the chambers in the gun have a bullet!". You have to show that marry sluts provide better expected outcomes than marrying girls with low partner counts to make real argument, and I have not seen such an argument. I'll keep my ears open to see if anybody can make it.

Are there sluts that end up in stable, happy marriages. Of course there are. There are a lot of them. But I am going to marry someone that is not a slut.

CarlsPudding · 2014-04-03T14:27:05+00:00

Here's my take, for what it's worth. I really don't care about the number so much, but you almost always run into this:

She made you wait and/or won't do things with you that she did with other guys. Hamster it however you want, it makes me feel like shit.
She has self-esteem and/or self-control issues. Women can get laid much more easily than men; the fact that she opened her legs and mouth at every opportunity means that she needs constant validation. What's going to happen when she doesn't get it from you? She's going to trip and fall onto a dick.
They tend to keep their own harem of "friends" around - The female version of Dread Game. Pass.

Taranos · 2014-04-03T04:25:38+00:00

I look at it of more of a numbers game really. She could be an amazing wife but if you were a betting man on who would cheat the girl who has banged more than 100 people or the girl who has slept with 2?

TRP is about improving yourself so you are the top of the pack. So why would you take the girl who has slept with 100 as a wife when you can get the girl who has slept with 2? Plus you want to be her number #1 and when you are competing with 100 others that makes it a lot more difficult, not impossible just difficult.

This on top of the fact it is proven the higher partner count means the higher chance of cheating, and higher divorce rate, and it just makes her less desirable as a partner.

2014-04-03T13:34:26+00:00

She loses the ability to bond with the guy fucking her. It's also a reflection of her self respect and level of class.

Don't start a LTR with a girl who has a count higher than 5.

dray121212 · 2014-04-03T04:00:34+00:00

This is the problem...It isn't solely about partner count; a number. It's about past behavior overall. She could be in her late 20's, spent a couple years in relationships, had a handful of fuck buddies, and handful of one night stands. Or, she could be in one very unhealthy relationship for 10+ years. Yet, the former is better LTR material than the latter.

I'd say that a high number increases the correlation of previous bad behavior and since we can't know all the details of her past it does hold some weight.

Woman of high quality who knows they are of high quality tend to have low partner counts, versus the 6/7s with self esteem issues.

Clauderoughly · 2014-04-03T16:07:56+00:00

Basically, women with high partner counts have not developed the interpersonal skills to maintain a long term relationship.

When things get tough, she just ditches the guy for a new one.

Women in their 20's, even if they are of average attractiveness, have no problem finding guys for short term relationships. Guys are not that picky.

It is the inverse with men, who have high partner counts, because they have developed the interpersonal skills (AKA Game), to overcome women's natural selectiveness when it comes to mates.

FortunateBum · 2014-04-03T20:44:53+00:00

Nothing, as long as I'm one of them.

HarryPeckerCrabbe · 2014-04-03T07:58:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-03T17:07:30+00:00

There are several studies showing the more sexual partners the woman has the more likely she is to file for divorce. There are very few studies on the nuts and bolts of this because the Matrix refuses to publish or fund such studies and because it is hard to measure things like "bonding."

In short, a woman with many sex partners will not bond to her husband in the way a woman with few sex partners will bond. So yes, they are more likely to cheat, more likely to decide they are not haaapppppy, more likely to branch swing, less likely to be happy with the man they marry, and more likely to manipulate him into changing (and then leave him). There is almost no upside unless you like polyamory and being cuckolded.

garlicextract · 2014-04-03T20:56:38+00:00

Is it because past promiscuity means she is more likely to cheat or throw away a good relationship over a small problem?

I have heard this before but never seen any studies or actual evidence stating as much.

The best predictor of future behavior is... past behavior.

TheD_ · 2014-04-03T03:28:27+00:00

It's bad if you're insecure about the # you have slept with. It feels bad when the promiscuous girl only sees you as a meal ticket. It's bad if you're trying to turn into a party girl into a housewife. It's bad if you're hellbent on long term monogamous relationships.

Honestly though, if you change your dating strategy, now is the best time to be promiscuous as a male.

Respondant ID	# of past sexual partners	current marital status
001	1	married
002	2	married
003	10	divorced

Title	What makes a girl's higher lay count a bad thing?
Author	Taranos
Upvotes	3
Comments	71
Date	April 3, 2014 2:54 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/222l9w/what_makes_a_girls_higher_lay_count_a_bad_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-makes-a-girls-higher-lay-count-a-bad-thing.13488 https://theredarchive.com/post/13488

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