How do I go out alone?

rocktober29 · 2014-03-09T03:56:11+00:00

This is the most freedom that you will ever have! Sure you have to get over the part where it feels weird... but you also get to enter each and every interaction without any baggage that if you don't want to. Vulmox is no longer so-and-sos brother, or the guy with braces, or the dude who threw up on the bus, or whatever.

Vulmox can be that fearless, charming, outgoing SOB that just moved into town. Vulmox can be the guy who works out everyday after work. Vulmox can be the guy who is open to all sorts of new possibilities.

Embrace it brother!!

bobbyontario · 2014-03-09T04:10:43+00:00

Only go places where you'll have a good time without needing others, but where others' company is welcome. Choose bars/clubs/coffee shops with live music of your favorite genre, or good food or craft beer, or something that you enjoy. Others will pick up on your vibe. Game is still required, but the baseline becomes comfort if you are there for your own enjoyment.

heyyou11 · 2014-03-09T06:34:40+00:00

When I first moved to the city I live now. I moved quickly into a single room apartment with no furniture and only worked with people 10 years older. It takes time to get off the ground. Despite what people say on here, although it can be done, going out alone is really fuckin tough and inherently creepy if you don't have a natural positive unshakeable energy. Enjoy your time alone. Get used to chatting strangers in all settings. Further relationships at work with those that seem worth your time. Find a hobby or anything to do other than work and "chilling" and connect with people there. Try r/yourcity meetups. Use online dating to fill the gap time. I think a big thing is make the small steps with socializing, be comfortable with yourself, and keep an eye out for worthwhile people to connect with on a deeper level and just put yourself out there. It won't be easy, but you for sure have this.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-03-09T04:23:54+00:00

Just do it. I go out alone all the time. You don't want to be hindered by other people. You don't want to fall into the mindset of oh my friends bailed on me tonight so I can't go out and talk to girls. Fuck that, go out alone and enjoy the fuck out of yourself. It may be difficult at first but do it anyway.

Pit_Sweat · 2014-03-09T02:47:39+00:00

Just approach people everywhere. If you think you'd be uncomfortable going to a bar or social venue alone, that's okay. Most people I meet, I do through random conversations during the daytime anyway. I'm also introverted, but I've learned to enjoy meeting new people and to be comfortable striking up conversation no matter if I'm at a bar or in the grocery store.

FlashGordonn · 2014-03-09T09:30:02+00:00

I've been in your exact situation. It's not easy at all, but once you do it a couple of times, you realize it's actually fun. Basically, in my mind, I always thought I could either 1) stay in and do nothing or 2) go out and put myself out there. It helps if you go into a venue and start talking to people right away.

TimPartendale · 2014-03-09T16:24:26+00:00

I go lone wolf so many times now because my friends don't really like going out. I would say, just go to some bars and clubs and befriend everybody. Don't make the mistake of only going for girls, build up some social proof with dudes too, it's easy to go from a lone wolf to the guy everybody knows. Honestly, after an hour in a packed place, I would've introduced/talked to 30+ people.

Here's my thought process, if they're in a club then they're probably easygoing/fun people who are willing to go out drinking/clubbing/etc with you in the future. Grab their #, both guys and girls. Joke, have fun, and make a group of people you can willingly hang out with and go from there.

I think if you can get comfortable approaching random people (even groups) then you're on the right track to picking up some chicks.

politicalanalysis · 2014-03-09T20:18:28+00:00

I am in the exact same situation. I've been in this new city for 6 months, and only recently started having any social success by going out.

My problem earlier was caring too much. I was afraid of talking to people, so I didn't fit the most part. Over the last 3-4 weeks though, I decided to just stop caring. Instead of scoping out a group I thought might be receptive, I started to introduce myself to the first person/group I saw at the bar. I also realized that conversational pleasantries normally exchanged between strangers, ("where do you work" "what's your major" etc.) are pointless in a bar. Instead, I try to add value to their night by being the entertaining guy I am (telling funny stories that relate to what they are talking about , flirting/bantering with the women, etc.).

The last thing I stopped doing was I stopped trying to make friends. I have been so worried about meeting someone to hang with on a regular basis that I haven't been in the moment enjoying my time.

Last night I didn't land a girl. I didn't even get any numbers, but I had a blast. I met some cool people that genuinely enjoyed hanging out with me and talked to 4x as many people as I would have 4 months ago. I didn't creep anyone out or overstay my welcome, and I'm sure that eventually I will be the life of the party like I was back in college.

phreekk · 2014-03-09T04:08:46+00:00

What line of work are you in?

TailoredSuccess · 2014-03-09T17:30:07+00:00

There will be plenty of good answers on how to go out alone here. It can be a real a real humbling and introspective experience.

Something that would help you progress is making a friend in your new area. You probably know this better than I, but being able to make male friends is just as important as being able to interact with the female gender. It can also be much more dynamic. I find I have a better night when I'm out with one of my friends, than a group of 5 or 6. Two is such a great number. It allows you to be social in your comfort zone and then make an approach that is not leaps and bounds away. It gives you some conversation material, like hey I'm here with my buddy he's such a great friend. Last week we _______. He's here somewhere. You'll have to meet him. Wingmanning back and fourth or just showing how great of a person you are, capable of making great friends.

Also on meeting that friend.. You mentioned a lot of the people you work with are married. I'm in the same situation. Those married schmucks are often the best people to be friends with, because who knows how many people they know who are in the same position as you? I met one of my best new single buds through an old friend from middle school who is married and never ever goes out when I want to.

Good luck.

Doooog · 2014-03-09T14:49:58+00:00

Ya mang, you'll have to forgive me for my wastedness, cos I'm fucked.. But let me tell you about how to go out alone son, cos I personally believe it's the key to many young mens' struggle.. Get out dere mang! I'm out there now! Sheeeet

Title	How do I go out alone?
Author	Vulmox
Upvotes	25
Comments	37
Date	March 9, 2014 1:40 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1zxnh8/how_do_i_go_out_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-go-out-alone.1367238 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367238

Comments