As I near 100 approaches I'm finding that I'm getting rejected way less and when I do my rejections are much less harsh.
Over my first 30 approaches I closed 3 numbers and 1 date.
Over my last 20 approaches I've closed 8 numbers and 7 dates.
And I'm only doing one thing differently. I've slowed down my speech significantly.
I had a client at my job tell me I talk very fast recently and he was making me repeat myself all the time. And it dawned on me that I kept having to repeat myself when I'd open with girls on the street.
Immediately I started researching speech pattern and conversation and more specifically great public speakers.
We've all heard MLK's I Have A Dream Speech. Its probably the greatest speech ever recorded. I recommend listening to it again but pay close attention to his pauses. They're long and inconsistent. Sometimes they come after a thought sometimes they come during. But his pace is always extremely deliberate and engaging. Consider how much less powerful that message would be if he didn't pause and just read right through.
Watch any great public speaker and you'll find this one consistency, they all pause. And they're pretty long pauses too. Sometimes 4 or 5 seconds even. Now of course there is a difference when you're speaking to a large group as opposed to a girl you're trying to flirt with.
But if you're someone who has social anxiety like I do talking quickly feels better because we always want to fill in those awkward pauses. Counting off a couple of extra seconds in your head before you say something else will help you calibrate your speech pattern.
Now when I approach I pause frequently and for a long time. It does feel weird to just stand there quiet. But when you're smiling and maintaining eye contact and she's giggling and fidgeting because she can't handle that nervous energy like I can its like fucking sex.
If you're starting out and not getting girls engaged in conversations with you consider your speech pattern. Ask people you know if you talk fast. Record yourself on approaches. And if you are speaking fast start taking exaggerated pauses. Pause until you get that awkward feeling in your stomach and then wait two more seconds. This is how you'll calibrate yourself to speak more deliberately over time.
TL;DR Talk slower.
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