I have a question about Models by Mark Manson

ymiapheramone · 2015-01-30T19:17:10+00:00

The thing to remember is that most of the properties of the sort of guy Manson puts forward often come from having high self esteem and low neediness. This is key because if you gain these aspects then a lot of it follows. Don't try to memorize all advice in the book, learn to understand the thinking behind it and you'll find yourself acting much smoother and sexier.

The reason why I liked the book is because I scrapped most of /r/seductions rules about a year ago and I became much more successful with women. I.e. Girlfriend and I still get chicks that hit on me. It's all because I stopped trying so hard. That's the advice that Manson is trying to give. (He even says himself how thinking causes a clogged brain.) just relax and go with the flow.

ErikTheRedPill · 2015-01-30T17:43:29+00:00

Practice makes perfect. You can't read how to fly a plane then immediately fly a plane. Same thing goes for what you read in Models. Keep at it until it all becomes second nature.

Big_TX · 2015-01-30T18:59:36+00:00

My general advice for learning thing would be

Go slow and step but step till you get better. Then speed it up and/or add another peace to the equation and work that in.

A more specific thing you could do is:

Think of the end product. And remember that. Don't like think "I gotta put all these things to together. Simultaneously. Think of how you act when you are being dominant expressive and how you talk (that os make statements)

Idk if that will help you. That's how my mind works. I hope it works for you

joshsway · 2015-01-30T19:35:13+00:00

Learning dating advice is kinda like learning a martial art. You retain much less than you practice in each lesson. I wrote about it in detail here: https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/martial-arts-and-dating-advice

viksenpai · 2015-01-30T20:26:01+00:00

I watched a Ted talk on how to learn any skill in 20 hours... or was it days, I cannot remember.

The first step was to read enough to be able to self-correct. You won't be able to put it all in action at once, the same way you won't learn to play all guitar chords or learn different guitar skills, if you better like the parallel. However, if you tackle those things one by one and know enough to be able to successfully self-correct, you should be able to learn those stuff in the long run. Just try not to be in your head too much during interactions.

Also, re-reading books after a while helps.

jeffthehat · 2015-01-30T21:55:53+00:00

The answer is you can't. It's an excellent book with tons of practical information, but you really need to get out there and practice a few of the tips at a time. After a few months or so of trial and error go back and revisit the book, applying more of the advice. Experience is the greatest teacher.

Tjodleik · 2015-01-31T07:45:15+00:00

At the risk of sounding like an asshat; the book also has a progress plan (page 280 IIRC), and it's there for a reason.

My advice would be to take it slow, work on one or maybe two things at a time and then move on when you can consistently succeed at them. So to go off your example, work on making more statements when you talk to girls and focus only on that for a while. Then, when it has become a habit, move on to work on expressing yourself and your ideas more, and when you can do that with a reasonable degree of success move up to becoming a more sexual and dominant man.

To provide an example of my own I spent some six months working solely on my body language and posture, as I slouched a lot and generally tried to make myself as "small" as possible. So I started paying attention and would correct myself every time I found myself slouching, and in the end it became a habit to walk upright and take up at least some space. Then, when I had some control of my body language, I started working other stuff, one thing at the time.

TL;DR: Check out the progress plan in the back and start working your way up. Keep at it til you can do whatever it says consistently and only then move to the next step.

JessePinkman88 · 2015-01-31T12:06:52+00:00

It all depends on where you are at. Models I see as a comprehensive guide that covers everything. If you were a complete social outcast, then you would probably need to work through most of the material. However if you already pretty attractive (decent lifestyle, fairly honest and vulnerable) and the problem is more meeting and finding the right women then you only need to worry about that advice for now.

For me, I have already spent years on developing my communication skills so alot of that does not apply to me (eg. making statements, being funny). However, I am working alot on the vulnerability/polarizing and demographics stuff as I believe that is what is holding me back.

As he says, this is a process of self awareness, so you need to evaluate what are the things you need to work on and then use Models as a reference on how to work through those particular issues.

He does say you should only deal with one issue at a time and consistently work through it before moving onto the next.

2Siders · 2015-01-31T18:54:54+00:00

I just read it for the 1st time - initially I'm trying to improve on my honest lifestyle and then worry about everything else in the book. That doesn't mean that I'm not approaching, it's just a lot to take in altogether at first.

wantmeacoolusername · 2015-01-31T03:03:02+00:00

For example, it tells us to make more statements instead of questions and then to express myself more as well and then to become a dominant and sexual man. I can only act on a couple of these ideas before I start going crazy from trying to remember these actions

If you're thinking about all that stuff, then you're tensed, and you're "working"....and women can totally sense that, and it's super boring and a maximum turn off.

Instead, you should be in the moment and enjoying. The two of you should have fun. Any questions vs. statements proportion is ridiculous. You shouldn't even be thinking about that stuff.

That's the weakest frame ever. Stop learning that BS. The good news is you don't have to learn or memorize anything, quite the contrary - you need to totally relax, chill and enjoy your date.

If you wanna ask, ask. 100 questions if you want. Wanna make statements? Do so. Nothing to say? Don't talk. For real. Just chill there, with her. Let your eyes talk for a bit. Don't be uncomfortable in silence, enjoy it, and let her enjoy it too...

let your eyes talk...

To be honest, I'm a bit tired of these strong words like "dominant" being thrown around. Then guys get caught up in that and feel defeated if women got to choose anything.

Ya you should lead...(and sometimes let go of it as well), and you should not let anyone walk all over you - and that's it. That's quite enough to get hot dates.

JUST TALK TO YOUR DATE LIKE YOU WOULD TO ANYONE ELSE, JUST NORMALLY. And of course you should gear the conversation towards topics of interest for you two...like the values you share....things that she enjoys and make her feel good...and sparking attraction with your words.

Celrunya · 2015-01-30T17:48:32+00:00

Didnt't he explicitly mention you can babystep all of the material?

Start small and work your way up

Title	I have a question about Models by Mark Manson
Author	LearningToBeMe
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	January 30, 2015 5:11 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2u7pwo/i_have_a_question_about_models_by_mark_manson/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-a-question-about-models-by-mark-manson.1383172 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383172

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