How do you stay excited about dating/seduction when faced with constant rejection?

Steely_Jackson · 2015-03-19T21:07:13+00:00

My friends and I used to play a game where we went to the bars and tried to fail as hard as we could with every chick. It ended up being a lot of fun for us and REALLY shook off the fear of rejection. Especially because we had our bros to get our backs and laugh afterwards. And most of all, when we were having fun, the girls liked that and even the worst lines started to work, because it wasn't about the line but about the whole delivery!

thrizzlepizzle · 2015-03-19T21:06:52+00:00

Frame rejection as a gift.

She blew me off without giving me a chance to show off my personality? What a rude human being; I'm glad I don't have to talk to her anymore!

She flaked on me three times? Wow, I'm glad I don't have to bother dating someone so insecure!

She screamed at me in the club when I approached? What a crazy girl - dodged a bullet there!

Rejection is nature's way of keeping you from damaging relationships. Learn to see it as such - embrace it - and you'll begin to dominate!

pheonixignition · 2015-03-19T20:01:54+00:00

I'm in...somewhat of the same boat as you, but not really. My advise? Embrace the suck. Its gonna suck, but you don't have any choice. You'll get better. Try to have fun, make yourself into a guy you'd like to be/a girl would want to date. If you need to see a therapist or anything from past issues, go see one. Life is hard, and no one wants to add your issues to theirs. Instead, be someone they are wanting to be.

EDIT: I went through a divorce that I basically lost all friends/family, was alone, and had to rebuild my life from scratch. I'm currently starting to spin two plates, have another date with a third girl on Saturday. This all started coming together within the past month. Once you start getting your first success, USE THAT FOR MOTIVATION AND GET ANOTHER ONE. Pretty soon, all the crap is just a memory.

rmbarnes · 2015-03-19T22:53:56+00:00

I was in a very similar situation to you 5 years ago. I was 27 years old, no sexual prospects, never had a proper gf, only a handful of sexual partners. I found out about game and thought it was my salvation.

For the next six months I went out every Friday and Saturday night practising game and didn't even get a kiss. It was after 6 months that I finally got a lay from online dating.

Fast forward 5 years to the present day and my next lay will be number 69, which of course amuses me. In the past 5 and a bit years since starting game I've slept with 61 women of over a dozen different nationalities. I would hate to have given up during those first, lonely 6 months. My life would be very different if I had.

When I was thinking of giving up, I always thought what is the alternative? If I wasn't out gaming girls Id just be watching tv every Friday and Saturday night, so I wasn't losing anything by not giving up. The only other option was to be single all my life. So I kept going because it was my only option.

I really recommend you get "Balls Deep" by Nick Krauser. In that he chronicles his journey from chode to one of the best daygamers in the world. He's really frank in that about how hopeless it all felt to him in the beginning and how much he struggled. It was months before he got his first lay. Maybe even a year.

I'll leave you with some words from Winston Churchill, "When you're going through hell, keep going".

mrT9 · 2015-03-19T20:44:40+00:00

Focus on the things you accomplished, even a small victory is a victory. Enjoy your time.

tsiggy · 2015-03-20T00:10:23+00:00

Adjust your expectations. When you go out and are used to being rejected, you'll naturally show signs that you are uncomfortable/nervous. I've recently become single after an 8 year relationship and never been single as an adult. Go out on dates because YOU want to have a good time. Get comfortable going out for you and work your way up from there.

WhoTheHellKnows · 2015-03-20T04:59:30+00:00

Just to take a different approach, consider just working on social skills, and friendships first.

I think way to many people try to go in one leap from "forever alone" to "pua". There aren't many skills where you try to go from complete beginner to master in on leap by trying and failing hard.

Go to group activities: bar trivia, classes of any sort, groups, clubs; anything where people congregate for reasons other than getting laid. Get the fundamentals of social interaction down, in a situation where failure is not required, and then hit it again.

probably_fictional · 2015-03-20T12:13:41+00:00

You need to realize that other people do not define your worth as a person. You do.

Try to hold on to the fact that the more you experience rejection, the less it hurts. I've been rejected so much that it's usually easy to just shrug it off and move on. You won't connect with everyone and that's okay. It's a numbers game. As long as you keep trying and don't take the rejection personally, you will find women that you connect with.

Pointwest418 · 2015-03-20T16:32:54+00:00

Change something about yourself after each rejection to improve yourself.

It can be either directly or indirectly related to the rejection. If you stumbled over the introduction, work on introducing yourself and starting conversations with people. Improve your wardrobe. Hit the gym more often. Try a new approach or place to approach.

opelmanz · 2015-03-19T22:02:02+00:00

my advice, dont think too hard. just go out and approach and smile. good luck. ps online dating is way more effort than in person unless you are a pro, imho.

alltheritemoves · 2015-03-19T23:27:49+00:00

It really is just a stage. It is not stage 1. You are probably on stage 3 of about 10. Don't fear rejection, it gets you ready for the next step. Not caring too much about the outcome and coming off as needy.

Let's talk about your first date. I wonder what she was thinking. A lot of women are in their head. I'd bet she was thinking you were ignoring her or was not interested. When the truth is you were just shy. Next time try being up on current news and weird news. Google is your friend.

jasonr686 · 2015-03-19T23:30:30+00:00

How many "rejections" have you had?

soochosaurus · 2015-03-19T23:37:56+00:00

it's all a numbers game, the world is filled with people. It's only a number of time really.

Not2original · 2015-03-20T02:24:28+00:00

I read a great article, how a guy actively seeks rejections, and it lowers his anxiety. and He got the rejection to have the opposite triggered effect in his brain. It actually makes him happy and care free, and relaxed and he stopped getting rejected. Because he was relaxed.

If anyone has the link for OP please give it to him.

midnightyeti · 2015-03-20T02:45:27+00:00

Remember they are only "rejecting" a stranger, they don't know you so don't take it personally or feel sad about it. And there could be many reasons why she "rejected" you, a lot of which could be no fault of your own.

Deaner_ · 2015-03-20T03:23:39+00:00

If you're being rejected ALL the time then you should really start thinking about changing something up.

Getting turned down is bound to happen, but you should be more successful the more you work at interacting with women.

Do you have any areas of your life that you can work on? Getting in shape is always a good place to start, so is changing up your wardrobe if you haven't bought new clothes in a while. You need to have high confidence to succeed in dating.

A good way to determine if you are just unlucky or if you need to do something different is to take a look at how many friends you have and what kind of relationship you have with them. If you aren't able to develop meaningful friendships with people then you are not going to be able to be a boss with women. Work on all of your social skills, not just those that refer to getting laid.

Speedtarzanjujitsu · 2015-03-20T08:04:16+00:00

I stay excited due to the fact that I know there are millions of woman in this world and it was her loss for not wanting to know me more.

joshsway · 2015-03-20T14:38:54+00:00

Improve yourself and keep trying.

Rumsiac · 2015-03-21T04:43:20+00:00

Taking regular breaks help a lot. Also, statistics.

Title	How do you stay excited about dating/seduction when faced with constant rejection?
Author	Psychocist
Upvotes	17
Comments	23
Date	March 19, 2015 7:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2zm8tz/how_do_you_stay_excited_about_datingseduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-stay-excited-about-datingseduction-when.1385523 https://theredarchive.com/post/1385523

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