How do you guys do it?

steffbenji · 2016-01-12T11:32:34+00:00

It's a very good thing that you want to change, Courageous of you to do (in a world of comfort and technology...). It's is also awesome that you have the end in mind (which is the way you want to become or look like in the future)

Let me tell you this, You are thinking about changing too much that nothing changes, you want to replace all your bad habits with good one at once, this can't happen, Pick one new habit, let's say going to gym consistently, Work on it for a month, then for the next month, while still keeping the gym going on, start reading, then the next month, start meditating.

You will notice that with every "good" new habit, a bad one disappears.

Bottom line, One step at a time, don't look at the mountain ahead, look directly at the step in front of you!

Good luck!

RAIDisNotBackup · 2016-01-12T13:33:01+00:00

Try to do the thing where everything you do, you tell it to yourself in the 3rd person. It's usually way easier to justify a "I'm just gonna go home and relax today, watch tv, eat chips and have a wank. I've deserved it". If you phrase it to yourself as in a book "Then he went home, and like everynight before, chose to sit in front of the tv and masturbate instead of doing something with his life, like he knew inside he always wanted". It makes you think "who the fuck is that lazy ass of a person ?" until you realise it is yourself, and will most likely wanna do something else that night instead. "He went home, cleaned the house, and lost himself in his passion for the night" sounds way better doesn't it ?

hopeless_n_confused · 2016-01-12T17:05:32+00:00

A meditation practice can help you spend enough time in silence that you actually start realizing the more complex reasons holding you back. I recommend a meditation retreat, something like Vipassana , if you want to make a radical change in your life. Ultimately, you will realize that your life is made up of fresh new moments each second and you don't need to worry so much about the past and future when making small, everyday decisions in the present. "Did you waste all of the past 20 years on TV and games? If yes, that doesnt need to influence your decision of what you want to do this very second." You can un-attach yourself from the deep rooted beliefs that cause you to keep choosing the same non beneficial habits. Good luck

petriomelony · 2016-01-12T18:38:15+00:00

It's the same way you get out of bed in the morning. Sure it'd be nicer to stay all warm and cozy in bed, but then you start thinking of the shit you've got to do and then in a strange moment you have to decide whether you're going to jump out of bed or not.

For some people, finally deciding to do this comes too late - maybe you snoozed the alarm once too many times and suddenly you're late for work and don't have time for a shower. You scramble out of bed and rush to get ready for whatever, but the only reason you're speeding things up now is because you've realized you've left it too late.

Other people set their alarms, they get into a routine. Routine is what keeps them sane, and they know if they break the routine they will feel bad about it. In the end they end up with good habits and can make more whenever they want. These are the people who know that taking action is the best way to progress.

Others just kind of waffle around. They wake up when their alarm goes but they kind of just roll around doing nothing or go on their phones instead of getting out of bed. These are like the people who think that more reading and more research is going to get them results. While reading about breakfast posts might give you ideas for making breakfast, you've actually got to get out of bed and apply said knowledge.

The best way to cultivate your willpower is focus on how you feel in moments where you're using it already. The willpower to get out of bed, the choice to leave the hot shower, going to bed at the end of the day instead of just staying up and playing games. You already know that delaying some of these things can be bad (late for whatever, feeling tired the next day), then all you have to do is apply it to these other situations.

ruffyamaharyder · 2016-01-12T17:52:56+00:00

Motivation is fleeting; discipline is not.

It really helps to have a buddy to do stuff with you. Want to keep going to the gym? Get a workout partner.

Set things up for success only. Remove failure as an option.

Want to change your diet? Only drink Soylent.

Want to go out more? Find someone in the community around you that is willing to help you out.

Keep doing things that relax you. There's nothing wrong with that! Just setup times to do it. Wednesday night is TV night. Thursday night is video game night. Work in the stuff you need to as well -- Friday night is going out night. Saturday morning is making breakfast for some chick morning. See? :)

notlurkinganymoar · 2016-01-12T19:35:39+00:00

You've found the dirty secret of seduction: there are no easy fixes. How do you do it? You just do. You start one day and you keep going. You may slip, you may fall, but you have to pick yourself up again and start again. The best way to do something is to actually do it. Pick yourself off of the couch and get out there. And most important of all, no more zero days!

tekzlol · 2016-01-12T19:46:34+00:00

https://youtu.be/ZXsQAXx_ao0

AttractandSeduce · 2016-01-12T20:50:12+00:00

Here is my advice

In a word document, type in all the things you would want in your areas of health, wealth, love and happiness. I would write one full page for each category. Sounds like you want more of a sense of fulfillment in life and by focusing on all four pillars (health, wealth, love and happiness) is the best way to go.

Just focus on everything you want in each of the four pillars for right now. You don't need to create a plan on how to achieve each of these yet.

Type your big WHY for each of the four pillars. Why do you really want what you want?

Your why is what is always going to keep you motivated to keep pushing yourself towards your big goals in life.

Create a vision board for yourself on a separate word document. This means looking for pictures online that represent what it is that you really want in the areas of health, wealth, love and happiness. Have fun with it.
Print out all the documents (Each document that states what you want, your why for each pillar, and your vision board (in color).

Put your vision board somewhere where you will be able to see it at least twice a day. Look at your other documents up to two times a day as well.

This is how you will train your mind in figuring out how you will accomplish all of your goals. All of a sudden while your out and about, thoughts will come to you that will suggest ways on how to accomplish your big goals in life.

When these thoughts come, write them or type them down.

Like steffbenji says, take it one step at a time.

Let me ask you a question, how do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time! Once you have good ideas on how to accomplish your life goals, take those plans and make them into smaller steps. Takes those steps and make them into smaller steps and on and on until each step becomes simple to commit.

You mention that you have a desire to become more self disciplined. Start out small like reading a book on self discipline or watching videos and make sure to execute one what you learn. EXECUTION is probably the most important.

Here is a video for you to help you become more self disciplined. It's from the famous napoleon hill

https://youtu.be/ZCm8JKCCdgE

OhMoscow · 2016-01-12T21:16:31+00:00

Dude you just do it. Motivation comes from the process. When you wash the dishes you hate the idea of it, but once you start you aren't going to quit halfway

breisingerstrudel · 2016-01-12T11:46:08+00:00

throw away all things distracting you. literally. throw your tv and your games out of the window. just count the hours each week you waste on these two tthings and try to imagine that you would go to the gym instead! maybe cut your internetconnection for a short time. it worked for me at least. organise your space so that you get bored to find fresh energy in this void. maybe harsh but a good start for tricking you brain into change. it rewards you every time you stay in your comfortzone so make sure to cut all stimulations

chelser295 · 2016-01-12T16:20:44+00:00

How old are you?

Jamieusss · 2016-01-12T20:13:17+00:00

What you're encountering is a willpower issue. There is a science to willpower. There is a method in how to train it as a muscle. Check out the book the willpower instinct. It is invaluable in what you're looking to do. One simple piece of advice I can give u is that when you resist doing something you actually end up doing it more than you ever did. This is why we have the saying "whatever we resist, persists." Don't feel bad or get down on yourself because this is simply how our brain functions. The way to truly change occurs with accepting the things that you want to resist. Seems paradoxical, but it is the only way to create a new possibility.

quzken · 2016-01-12T20:22:48+00:00

Start skydiving, you're gonna feel like you've overcome fear. You will become more "brave" and "crazy".
Hit the gym, you're gonna be more fit.
Dress well.
Interact with girls (parties, coffe shops, school/work literally anywhere)

I can't imagine my life without skydiving, it's really been the most crucial thing in my life and gave me a completely new perspective on people and things. You should try it too.

Peckerdick · 2016-01-12T21:28:24+00:00

I've been in a similar situation as you are for much of my life, and I'm just now starting to break out of it. I started last year by focusing on one thing - fitness. I made some small but consistent changes to my diet, and forced myself to go to the gym 3 times a week, even if I felt like shit. It sucked for a while.. and then after around a month, it became habit. It's easy now. I work out and track my calories like it's just part of my day. I don't even think about it any more. I'm getting ripped and it doesn't even seem like like hard work.

Motivation comes and goes, and a lot of people can't rely on discipline. Establishing habits is where it's really at. When you force yourself to do something for a period of time, it becomes habit, and it becomes easy. And the really amazing thing is when you do it once, the next time is even easier, and you feel incredibly motivated because you're actually achieving things.

The trick here is just doing one thing at a time. It's overwhelming to think of all the shit you want to do, to quit videogames, quit porn, work out, watch your diet, be more social, study, read more books, etc. It's so easy to just give up when you think of how hard it will be to do all that. You just need to pick one thing, then establish one habit that helps you meet that goal. For example, pick fitness. Get a gym membership and go 3 times a week, hell or high water. Even if you don't know what you're doing, just go fuck around at the gym for an hour. Do this until it's habit and part of your routine. You'll be amazed how easy the rest of your goals will seem at this point.

Title	How do you guys do it?
Author	Icanfly91
Upvotes	47
Comments	50
Date	January 12, 2016 11:23 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/40m3jq/how_do_you_guys_do_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-guys-do-it.1400555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1400555

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