80% of my approaches don't last over a minute. How do I open better?

throwitawayagainyay · 2016-10-26T16:17:33+00:00

I am wrestling with this myself. Usually I get my first opens by doing compliments. Eg. "Hey I like your hair" or some stupid thing "Hey I wanted to come over and say because you're cute." I will get the girl to smile and possibly laugh with just those little things. Here's the thing I learned though. When you say that you are giving your energy and showing your intent. I have to test this still but you want to continue to GIVE energy. Don't expect returns. Don't ask me for examples as I haven't had much experience yet. But I have tried over text to unresponsive girls. Anytime you send funny videos or generally share funny comments they will respond very well. As soon as you try to take something from them they will run and hide. Like asking for anything.

I just learned this like yesterday by watching this video. TLDR; don't be a taker, be a giver.

TipsyDoodle · 2016-10-26T16:34:15+00:00

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neonbluelight · 2016-10-26T19:30:50+00:00

Look, I don't usually comment on these things, but it reminds me alot of where I was a little less than 10 years ago. Same EXACT feeling..

I can't tell you how to solve your problem, but what changed for me was that early, I was just going out with the intention of "opening" girls. No direction, no fun. Everything changed when my focus switched to go out and do things that I enjoyed. Random example.. if you go see your favorite band, you will have deep conversations on lyrics, sounds, albums with 90% of the girls there.. Conversations (and connections) will be longer!... Also, another thing that changed, I tried to make friends that I like (including guys and girls) and everything seemed to fall in place automatically.

ggGideon · 2016-10-26T15:26:43+00:00

Are you opening by asking for a number? Opening by asking for a number or a date is a bad way to go. I generally approach on campus in my downtime between classes. I open with something like "Hey, maybe you can help me out." wait for response (usually ok? Or with what?) "I'm trying to kill some time before my next class. You seem interesting enough to keep me entertained for a bit." And then from there a conversation is usually kicked off.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-10-26T16:55:36+00:00

my guess is you are looking for validation in the approach. you should instead be comfortable with the approach and ok if it works out or not. focus on giving good vibes / energy, going with the flow and not really trying to control the outcome. main goals are establishing a connection and making bold moves.

jackpaxx · 2016-10-26T20:09:34+00:00

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leprogrammist · 2016-10-26T17:30:25+00:00

You should not ask for money. Seriously. Other than that maybe there is something wrong with the way you look or your behavior. If you cannot even survive a couple of sentences that is odd. Happens all the time but rarely.

TipsyDoodle · 2016-10-27T00:30:53+00:00

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zach84 · 2016-10-27T03:58:16+00:00

This is so vague. For one, how do you usually open? Are you smiling? What do you typically say?

2016-10-27T04:21:28+00:00

Do you have a video of you doing an a 1 minute approach + rejection? I could give you feedback if you showed it. You didn't give much details. I could guess but there's a lot of differing factors. Voice, self worth/esteem, eye contact, approaching from behind/side/front, waiting on the girl to talk, fear on the girls part, girl is in at rush + so many more. Guys giving advice here are most likely guessing. Send me an infield of you if you like.

Bud_Johnson · 2016-10-26T20:14:46+00:00

Be genuine with your compliments and don't expect a conversion out of them.

2016-10-26T20:23:38+00:00

QUA-LI-FI-CA-TION my friend.

The second sentence should already be a qualifying question, you can even open with that.

Hey, you look like from around here. Do you know your way around here. Whats the best bar here. No that one is not so good I have to tell you. This one is much better. Lets go there
What do you do, why. Why did you study medicine, why do you want to be a doctor. Do you wanna help people, or are you interested in the medical part. Why do you play volley ball, are you like a balls person. Are you good? Why do you not play as much as you would like to anymore. I think you should. Screw work, haha. Lets pack our bags and go on a vacation.
Why do you wanna be a lawyer, oh oh I should be careful what I say now haha. Isnt law really hard. You must be smart, almost as smart as me maybe.

I could go on and on. Qualification is so easy, it puts her in the spot of selling herself, it allows her to get value out of the conversation, she has to put in some work and can get a reward. This is how humans work. Work-reward-work-reward. Give her some dopamine hits. Make it fun, make it kind of easy for her to qualify, dont make it too hard. You're the prize. Go qualify.

revente · 2016-10-26T22:53:48+00:00

Do you approach during day or night? Do you go direct or indirect?

recyclablebanthas · 2016-10-26T23:58:24+00:00

It's always something like "no thank you" or "I have a boyfriend".

....but opening is my problem.

What you're saying suggests a problem with your opening, yes. Just one problem. You haven't told us what your typical opening or opening style is. So let's start there, because NO one here can really offer advice if you don't tell us what you're actually doing. There are SO many things that could be going wrong.

I never saw any RSD video about people who get blown out at the beginning.

Well, A.) they can edit videos and you NEVER see the outtakes from PUA videos. Think about it. And B.) of course they're going to have better luck overall: we're talking about people who are professionals at approaching strangers.

lamthesolution · 2016-10-27T04:13:58+00:00

Stop focusing on the girl. Have fun in a way that attracts everyone. Then invite the girl in a way that keeps her occupied but you can still socialize.

ColonelRAD · 2016-10-27T10:10:15+00:00

If you're getting blown out like that immediately you're just coming on too strong. Start small and escalate rapidly rather than going all in from the start.

Title	80% of my approaches don't last over a minute. How do I open better?
Author	TipsyDoodle
Upvotes	36
Comments	45
Date	October 26, 2016 2:57 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/59hyl6/80_of_my_approaches_dont_last_over_a_minute_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/80-of-my-approaches-dont-last-over-a-minute-how-do.1414595 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414595

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