To keep or not to keep

Reflog1791 · 2024-03-19T23:35:05+00:00

I took the equity and bought a fatter house and it’s awesome. My timing with interest rates was perfect so that changes the calculus.

Kreepykev1 · 2024-03-19T20:39:24+00:00

Thank you all for your input! I did decide today to keep it. I actually also decided to do a metal roof. At the very least it will be more valuable than it is now! STBX still lives here, she agreed to the buy out. So I will be assuming the full mortgage. I'm actually kind of excited 😊.

Deep_Marionberry7119 · 2024-03-19T13:27:45+00:00

I kept the marital home, and definitely for months it felt like a mausoleum to our marriage. The entire place was set up and chosen by her.

Once she finally came and got everything out, it was just a big empty house, as everything was her as each time we moved I lost more of my stuff till I had almost nothing.

It’s been two years come April, and the house is finally starting to feel a bit like mine as I slowly fill in the empty space.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2024-03-19T12:56:57+00:00

It all depends, what is the buyout and will you be straining financially to afford it all. There were a couple factors on why I wanted to move

1). Since my ex bought the house before marriage and also put down the down payment, my buyout would have been much higher since I wasn't allowed that portion of the equity. I would have been financially strained trying to afford that, buying her out, so on and so forth.

2). Since it was always "her" house, I wanted a fresh start not to mention some things bugged me about the house.

Those two things combined, I got bought out and found a place nearby that met my requirements. For my situation it was the right move and I'm not dying month to month and am quite comfortable. I would have been financially strained if I wanted the old house.

sak144 · 2024-03-19T12:04:24+00:00

I kept it so my kids would have some stability in their lives. Once in a while when alone you think about the ghosts of the past, but it's really not that bad. Am glad to have kept it. If your finances won't be much different, it is a no brainer to keep it vs. moving to the mobile home park.

brok_zenuwe · 2024-03-19T10:53:20+00:00

Keep your home. Live in it and think of it as exposure therapy. You considering your options tells me you got this.

Mobile parks will sell you a home, which you can eventually pay off, but you also have to pay rent for the lot and abide by all their rules. You also don't build equity, it's considered chattle, not exactly real estate, which is why the loan structure is different.

If you have the option, keep your home and its equity.

Kreepykev1 · 2024-03-19T09:56:55+00:00

Yeah, I'm not saying the mobile home would be bad and the place I would go does have a pool. The down sizing wouldn't be terrible either. This house was bought with the expectation of retirement and then selling to fund our(now my) older life years. I don't have anything that makes me not want to be there, I guess I'm just trying to decide if keeping the house and having a little less monthly to live on is better in the long run than buying something else and having a little more but nothing that will add any real value for me later in life. My daughter says she has no problem with coming there without her mom being there. Plus then she gets to keep her room the way she likes it. On the flip side having less yard work wouldn't be terrible either. Just not sure what makes the most sense I guess. Lost in all this.

Is0prene · 2024-03-19T09:03:29+00:00

From my experience it doesn't matter too much for the kids unless they have lots of friends as neighbors. My kids were actually stoked about moving into a new house. I also downsized because I didn't need such a big place. A lot easier to keep clean. Found a nice HOA with a pool park so the kids love it and I don't have to spend any time maintaining it.

Mobile home parks aren't all that bad where I live. Lots of them have awesome pools, parks, and rec centers.

If the house brings you trauma just being in it I would recommend getting out of there. If it doesn't I would try to keep it for the equity.

fireight · 2024-03-19T08:34:29+00:00

Myself I decided to stay. I had too much on my head in the beginning, 'for the kids' was another reason, not sure if true. Especially that my daughter decided to follow my ex.

Now after a year, the home is mine - no traces of my ex in my head. No opinion though about what would have been better. I am fine.

Title	To keep or not to keep
Author	Kreepykev1
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	March 19, 2024 7:28 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1biekbc/to_keep_or_not_to_keep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/to-keep-or-not-to-keep.1426565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426565

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