How the hell do you meet up with girls on tinder?

SnapSocialGuru · 2017-11-10T13:53:22+00:00

I went on 20+ tinder dates last year and here's my take.

It is a little awkward. Tinder and online dating is still a very new experience to a lot of people.

Own it, acknowledge it, and move on. If you can be playful about the whole situation, the other person will usually appreciate it and open up.

Best of luck.

BleepBloopRobotA · 2017-11-10T14:03:46+00:00

It can be awkward, but it's only as awkward as you make it. I usually meet at a bar, maybe get some apps or some beer flights. Alcohol is easy to talk about. The conversation inevitably delves into drinking stories, makes things open up more. If it's going well and there is chemistry, I suggest a move to a different bar or maybe go for a walk. Here I try to escalate a bit more and gauge how she is feeling. Sometimes going to back to my place or ending the night with a kiss or a makeout. It depends on so many factors.

bequietbestill · 2017-11-10T16:15:50+00:00

I got on tinder recently after a year long recovery from a bad car accident. Being female, my inbox was flooded after a few days, and I only responded to a few messages. One stuck out. I'm not even sure why. We talked on the phone a week prior to meeting. We met at a small music festival. We had some long, in depth calls by this time but it was still nerve racking. The fest was two days and I had decided to get a room for myself rather than stay with him. Well, the first night he kissed me. We ended up staying together that night and have been together since. Be bold, have no reservations.

isthatsuperman · 2017-11-10T18:22:21+00:00

Do you know how to talk to a person? Congratulations, you now have all the requirements to go on a tinder date. When you convince yourself it's awkward you're naturally going to project that and it will be awkward. Just talk to them naturally like any other person you would talk to. I can't believe I have to actually type this out...

trifle_truffle · 2017-11-10T13:51:53+00:00

Well, hopefully you've built up some commonalities via text or phone before you meet them. But yes, the first meet is always awkward.

weallwantsomethink · 2017-11-10T14:34:15+00:00

Well I think you are afraid of the other person. Judgement, your own anxieties and self image.

Just remember this simple truth: They feel the exact same way you do.

I have put women on a pedestal. But I found out they are more scared of me then I am of them.

4thofJulythrowaway · 2017-11-10T16:41:38+00:00

If I can do it, you can.

Just do it man.

Anaron · 2017-11-10T16:45:43+00:00

The first few times are the hardest because you're not used to it. After that, it won't seem so nerve-wracking. What helped me was trying not to think about what to say. Going in with rehearsed lines will make you come off as not-so-genuine. And if you mess up, you make yourself even more nervous because you relied on what you rehearsed.

It's best to put yourself out there otherwise you'll be stuck. Think about the sheer number of people that meet for first dates. So many people do it every day.

Another tip I have is to meet at a bar. You can order a drink and that might help calm your nerves. Also, it's okay to be nervous. The girl you'd be seeing will likely be as nervous as you, if not more.

essexaspie · 2017-11-10T17:52:46+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUbq68g_xVE&t=29s

danmyoo · 2017-11-10T18:46:42+00:00

Here's the trick: they're in the same boat as you having the same anxiety. You're on a level playing field. The key to dating, and sales/business, is to get the other person to talk about themselves by asking them questions. People LOVE to talk about themselves; we're all quite self-centered when it boils down to it. Once they open themselves up a bit to your questions, the conversation should take off from there. If it doesn't and y'all don't vibe, then it's not meant to be.

shakespeareSMG · 2017-11-10T23:40:11+00:00

My experience: Be a dick to females and they will reply in kind

Lord_Augastus · 2017-11-11T05:00:24+00:00

With great difficulty

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-11T06:00:00+00:00

___1___

I just couldn't do it I feel anxious and my stomach churning just thinking about it....

This is not about Tinder. This is about the actual in person social interactions and the negative self-talk you have going on in your head that can prevent you from connecting with the people around you.

It's quite striking, actually. Much of the advice on this forum basically boils down to: Pay attention.

What do you do when you meet a new person? That's not the issue here really. On some level, you know it's like when you go into a new place. You take a look around. You poke around and see what's going on and what it's about. In personal terms, you know this translates to asking someone how they feel about things or why they do things. Getting at their motivations and emotions. Finding these things out is the easiest way to relate to others as people.

Kids understand this from when they can talk, but we "learn" otherwise, as negative voices grow in our heads as the results of adults around us passing on their fear and negative emotions to us.

___2___

The real issue here is that you have to fight the negative voices in your head that have you struggling internally, instead of connecting with people outside of yourself. Your voices might say things like, "They probably share nothing in common with me anyway," or maybe some negative mantra like, "This is so awkward, This is so awkward, This is so awkward...."

These negative voices are fucking you over pretty hard. And it's ironic, if you weren't so distracted by this internal conversation, from the people around you, you would be able to connect better.

The task here is to face your demons. Negative thoughts create a feedback loop. Thoughts like this can lead to a change in brain chemistry, and a feeling. This feeling can lead to more thoughts about a bad feeling, and then back to more negative thoughts.

These negative thoughts can be fought and your brain re-wired. Two takes on fighting them: 1 2

And practice pushing your attention out of your own head and into the world around you. Practice paying attention.

essexaspie · 2017-11-10T11:59:44+00:00

lol, I know exactly what you mean! I've never in my life had a 'date', although I have had a fair few one night stands.

I just imagine them being so awkward. The whole thing. Like a really cringy, awkward interview, lol. I just don't think I could do it!

''Hi!! Sooo......you have any brothers or sisters?'' lol

It's a shame as from what I gather, it's the easiest way to get laid, and it's how some guys get laid most nights of the week.

I'd like to watch about 100 first dates in order to see if I can work out how to have a good, fun one.

I sometimes watch 'first dates' on channel 4 in the UK, but there's nobody with game on them programs, and most of the dates are aw awkward as holy hell, and it's exactly how I imagine my dates would be.

They sit down and it's like ''SO, tell me abut yourself?'' and they just rattle through the classic 'F.O.R.D. dubjects, and there's never any chemistry or fun.

I'd likely only meet a tinder girl if we'd basically agreed that we'd be having sex and she agreed to just come over, so we'd literally walk to my bedroom after I opened the door, lol (some of ,y friends have had 'dates' like that from tinder. Good looking mofo's! lol)

NunoHimself · 2017-11-10T12:43:55+00:00

Go out dude.

ImJustSo · 2017-11-10T16:13:07+00:00

I bring my wife along and it's usually pretty chill, but I'm probably spoiled, because women are definitely way more relaxed around another woman, and they can talk a lot.

Title	How the hell do you meet up with girls on tinder?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	24
Date	November 10, 2017 11:21 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7c0irm/how_the_hell_do_you_meet_up_with_girls_on_tinder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-hell-do-you-meet-up-with-girls-on-tinder.1436638 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436638

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