FYI: I recently started a blog that talks more about this kind of stuff: Socialite Magazine.

I've noticed some guys in the community being upset about always having to "chase people."

They're always the first to message others or make plans with others.

But nobody ever messages them first or invites them out to things.

To be honest, my strength has never been inviting people out to things. But I've always been the one that gets hit up and invited to cool events.

This month, I've gone to a hilarious karaoke bar in JapanTown, 25-cent-wing Wednesdays in the Mission, drinks with my CEO friend, bars I've never explored, a soul-food brunch with friends, a Lake Tahoe weekend getaway, and more.

I have three rules and one mindset to share. These have helped me develop a tremendous social and dating life where I'm constantly meeting new people.

Rule #1: Never say no to a social situation.

If you're just starting off, and want to build serious social momentum, start with this rule.

This rule alone has gotten me out of nasty ruts where I felt my life was shit (think sleeping 16 hours a day because your life is so boring).

Open yourself up to all possibilities. Become a "yes man".

The more you say yes, the more inclined people become to invite you out again. Nobody likes being told no.

(And never underestimate the vulnerability it takes for someone else to hit you up first, either.)

Accept invites like you'd accept free cash.

No matter how menial, lame, or boring the social event might be... Go.

I don't care if you don't feel like it. Just go.

When you become a socialite with not enough time on your hands, that's when you can become more selective.

Assuming you don't have much going on right now, never say no to social situations.

Rule #2: "Hit me up."

Write this phrase down. It's your new favorite phrase.

If you've got a personal Bible of your life, add this line to it.

"Hit me up."

Always encourage others to invite you out to things. Always.

Become too available. Be down for ANYTHING.

People WANT to invite others to places. They're just afraid of being told "no" or wasting someone's time.

Make sure you make it a "safe bet" for others to hit you up. You want others to always feel comfortable inviting you to places because you're always "down". You WANT to be the guy who's "down for anything".

Overheard a homie in class talking about going to a party this weekend? You say, "Hit me up if you need a Beer Pong, bro."

Overheard friends planning a hike this weekend? You say, "Hit me up if you guys need a handsome fellow with a greasy mustache to join."

I'm being silly, but you get the point.

Make yourself readily available to anything and everything.

Rule #3: Adopt social media.

Pick one. Instagram or Snapchat. Whichever you prefer, roll with it.

You've got to be where the fish are. And in the social scene, everyone is on either Snapchat or Instagram.

Furthermore, in the social scene, you can't isolate yourself.

You've got to constantly be a presence and be someone others are aware of.

Make your presence known. Be top of mind for people. Post Snapchat or Instagram stories. Send pictures to people. Constantly be interacting with others. It's a way of building relationships and social capital.

Rule #4: People want to meet new people.

This is more of a mindset rather than a rule.

People want to meet new people.

It's exciting for others to grow their social circle and potentially bring someone new to the table.

People are bored of the same people and friendships always doing the same shit.

You're the cool guy they've been imagining in their heads to come save them from boredom.

Assuming you're a decent human being, you should have no problem getting admitted into many, many social circles.

Whenever I'm invited out to events or parties, I know they aren't doing it out of pity for me. They're doing it for themselves. I'm the breath of fresh air they desperately need.

And assuming you can bring some value to the table (aka having decent conversation skills, okay humor, and good vibes)... You'll be the breath of fresh air they've been hoping for.

They'll be excited to have you join them.

Well, that's it for me.

I've been focusing my pickup game a lot more on building my social life. I figure it's better if I've got a social life where I'm constantly being exposed to new people, there's almost no need to do the hard things like cold approach. It's like business and cold calling. Why would you make a cold call when someone from your network can introduce you to the important people instead? I want to build a social life of abundance and relationships where I'm meeting tons of people naturally, rather than be roaming the streets of San Francisco cold approaching for little to no results.

I've got a ton of additional resources that may be interesting to you guys:

  1. My top 10 tips on building a social circle from scratch.
  2. How I got 40+ dates in 9-months (this post is more about mindsets to have than tactics).
  3. How to use social media part 1 and part 3.
  4. I’m also on Snapchat @ snapsocialguru posting daily insights.

Please, don't hesitate to ask me anything. I'm in the trenches here with you guys.

Toodles!

Laz