I realized I have some sex anxiety . Need help

gloshotta · 2017-11-18T21:47:21+00:00

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19061 · 2017-11-19T00:07:19+00:00

Yeah, the porn tip is pretty solid, but also it is mentality. I get you. The thing is that we often think that when the sex is initiated, that it is on - now you bang. But that is not the case.

Best lover can love with his hands, hips, head and toes. Make her feel warm with gentle headbut or feel wanted with words. Solid squeeze on the forearm and long look to her eyes can make the moment. Caress her thighs, smell her hair. Take your time to touch her in a way so you won't ever forget her. Control the phase. If it starts fast and you cant get up, slow it down, take space. Feel her, breath on her breasts, caress her hair. With slight fingers draw on her body. Enjoy the moment of being wanted. Worship her and she will do the same for you. Most of all, be honest. Give her the feeling that you want her. There is no shame if you can't get it up because you are nervous or drunk. Recently I have experienced lack of stiffness. I don't know what that is all about, but I have had the most amazing time. Probably it has made me even better lover.

Sex is not penetration. Sex is to make someone feel good. You don't need hard dick for that. You need compassion.

Anaron · 2017-11-18T22:42:31+00:00

Do you watch a lot of porn? It's good to rule out porn-induced ED. If you do, then that's the reason you're having trouble getting it up. And that can be fixed more easily than performance anxiety. But the latter isn't very difficult to fix either.

paladin400 · 2017-11-19T02:36:23+00:00

Don't fap (7 days, even a librarian would make you horny) and have a drink before for the nerves. Also, this goes without saying, but the girl has to be hot. If she isn't and you are trying to force yourself to like her, you are doing it wrong

Scrub_TLC · 2017-11-19T03:27:30+00:00

Read this thread from literally five hours ago!

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7dtwoe/performance_anxiety_is_killing_me_help/dq0i7w3/?context=3

jwzbengeen11 · 2017-11-19T12:55:58+00:00

DUDE LISTEN TO THIS

I know exactly how you feel and I have one simple solution: PERFORM ORAL!

I actually disliked performing oral on girls at first but oh my god this stuff changed my sex life completely.

I had the same problem, hell, I even used viagra the first time I had sex because I was way too nervous. But after that I still had trouble keeping it up because there are way to many thoughts going in my head. What you need to do is FREE YOUR MIND.

Let it flow, enjoy each other. Everytime when I cant get it up I just perform oral and focus really hard on pleasuring her. When I only focus on her, my mind gets free from the pressured thought flow. And I can feel my dick growing. Then I just stimulate it by grinding my hips against the bed or whatever your sitting on and you feel it growing harder which makes you more excited and if you keep going you'll eventually make her come before you even enter her which gives you a confidence boost aswell. Its a win-win-win situation!

I dont know if this will work for you since everyone is different but it really and I mean REALY helped me. Performing oral always gets me going.

solive93 · 2017-11-18T23:15:57+00:00

I also have Sex anxiety. I cannot cum at all. So usually we go on for a long time. Highest was 2+ hours. I usually stop but the amount of orgasms she has. Any tips to fix this? This is actually serious post

gloshotta · 2017-11-19T02:17:03+00:00

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Synzael · 2017-11-19T04:32:44+00:00

Lots of techniques work well, always keep PDEA5 inhibitors on hand if nothing else works (avafinil for fast actin, vardenifil or lasting longer) just knowing you can pop a pill will relieve the anxiety a lot. I rarely have problems getting it up because i know i can cheat if i feel like it. Second, get good at using kegel muscles, aerobic exercise helps alot. Vitamin D and Zinc levels make a big difference as well. I read porn and masturbate (not to orgasm obviously)and that helps a lot if your dick has already gotten hard its easier for it to get hard again

tennemat · 2017-11-19T07:05:14+00:00

https://youtu.be/nuvL7Dk8x8s

jorgepal02 · 2017-11-19T08:39:37+00:00

Dealing with this myself. I agree with most of the people here about porn. I stopped fapping and watching porn for over 30 days now. I can already see a big difference. My girlfriend is a million times more attractive to me, and I don't overthink things in the bedroom as much anymore.

I'd also say you should be really honest about this with your partner. Chances are she is also feeling anxious because of what is happening. She probably thinks she's not attractive. Let her know truthfully what's going on and go into the bedroom without any high expectations. It should alleviate a lot of the problems.

nickwchau · 2017-11-19T21:57:59+00:00

Just accept the fact that "not performing" happens to every guy at some point in life. Instead of taking it too seriously, laugh it off. Make a joke out of it. It will then bother you less and you would have less fear. To be honest, all these fear is in your head. If you don't "get it up" the girl probably has her own insecurities that shes not "hot" or "sexy" enough...

Just relax and have fun!

alty_mc_alt_face · 2017-11-19T06:31:58+00:00

Thanks for posting! I have definitely had this quite a few times over the years and it's good to know I'm not alone. Here's some things I've learned through many epic fails:

1) do you actually fancy her? If you're just 'taking what you can get' then of course you won't be turned on. Target women that your body has an immediate and undeniable positive reaction to.

2) have you built enough rapport? Are you relaxed and confident in her company? If not focus more of that before going for the bone.

3) this might just be personal, but if a girl is all over me that is a big turn off, whereas if she's slightly reluctant it's boner time. So if I'm having trouble I just ask the girl to pretend she doesn't want sex. They usually find the idea amusing, which breaks any tension and also it works a charm!

2017-11-19T09:05:04+00:00

I've had this at points in my life too. One of the things that had helped me is the idea of "paradoxical intention".

Basically, when you start getting nervous, think:"im gonna try to be as nervous as I can possibly be right now" and suddenly, your nervousness will be gone.

It can work for coming too fast too, if you feel like it's happening too quickly, think: "I'm gonna come as fast as I can" and then you won't. It's because your brain realizes that it has control over this anxiety and stress and purposely increasing it reveals that.

Title	I realized I have some sex anxiety . Need help
Author	gloshotta
Upvotes	86
Comments	31
Date	November 18, 2017 9:27 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7dvvwr/i_realized_i_have_some_sex_anxiety_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-realized-i-have-some-sex-anxiety-need-help.1437065 https://theredarchive.com/post/1437065

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