How to find (not get) yourself a girlfriend

DimitriT · 2018-04-17T20:37:05+00:00

It's like being a salesman. There are some "tactics" and "tricks" that works on people. Specially if you do it long enough, somebody will end up buying your product. Even if you are a shitty salesmen. Just a numbers game.
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What people don't understand is that having a good product from the beginning means you have to do less work. The product will sell itself.
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Problem with the community is that people focus on the tricks and tactics instead of becoming this awesome person. That's why many of them quit and breakdown.
Moral of the story: I'd rather approach 1 girl I like than have sex with lots of girls nobody gives a shit about.

BozoCardozo · 2018-04-17T23:01:15+00:00

This is awesome stuff. The only anecdotal thing I’d add is that, for me, learning some “game” really really helped me with the approach. I was always unsure of how to start a conversation with a woman. After learning it was really just as simple as “hey, I absolutely love your X/that X makes you look stunning/etc.” and going from there. If she introduces herself, she’s interested. I’ll admit that one “trick” I often use is to not tell her my name right away. If she asks for it, she’s definitely interested.

Other than that, I agree that the “game” is less about saying the perfect thing and really just about learning to read people, learning to be perceptive, picking up on nuance.

As a last point, just going out and talking to random girls about random things is a huge confidence booster. In reality, most people are open to conversation unless they’re giving some sort of sign they’re not (e.g., on the bus with headphones in and reading a book). Learning how to comfortably converse with women isn’t some sort of inherent skill that you either have or you don’t. For most of us, it’s just an exposure thing.

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-04-17T16:56:26+00:00

I really like this post. Im all about taking the info about game you find and tailoring it to your own tastes.

The_Succatron · 2018-04-17T17:05:38+00:00

This is amazing man. Thank you

plowzedong · 2018-04-18T00:11:08+00:00

A girlfriend is the absolute last thing most guys on here need.

Game is a social skill. "Getting a girlfriend" is typically a way for beta guys to avoid learning that social skill.

Once you have confidence born from competence, and once your know about yourself due to experience, you stand a chance of having a decent relationship.

Otherwise guys just end up entering unsatisfying relationships, only to be dumped in a few years, then they crawl back here crying because years have past and they realize that they still suck with women.

Socialinception · 2018-04-18T04:30:01+00:00

There's some good ideas here but they're hidden in a jumbled mess. Sure, you should create your own style, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't learn from those who came before you.

Look at the best comedians, they all create their own material, but they do so using lessons from those who came before them.

It's the ego that thinks the best way to go about learning is just to figure it out on your own. Yes, you should try things and learn from real life experience, but you should also get a broader understanding by learning from other sources (preferably experts).

You can learn any skill on your own, an instrument, a sport, or yes, even game, but you can learn faster and avoid making bad habits by learning from others.

Besides, few people teach much canned material anymore, most modern coaches teach the underlying principles of game with a loose structure, but they don't tell you to memorize lines and routines.

So, your advice is relevant if you're still trying to use the mystery method in 2018, but that's a small minority of the community.

G-Dalf · 2018-04-17T18:32:48+00:00

Great post and very well said. I was honestly thinking about this on my way to the office today...the fact that some guys report on what works for them, and it really does, but how it is totally not how I operate nor would it come across as genuine/sincere if I did. There are the basic principles for success (build your confidence, etc.) and ways to do that, but when it comes to the implementation of "game", it really comes down to figuring out who you are, what you're looking for and how to get there on your own path.

alias_guy88 · 2018-04-18T10:12:25+00:00

This would be Models By Mark Manson

The_Reddit_Jester · 2018-04-18T18:17:48+00:00

This is what I started arguing recently. The canned stuff and "say this when she says this" stuff never worked for me. It didn't really click until fairly recently that I just have more fun when I act like myself and do what I want and say what I want. Yeah, sometimes I still have to watch what I say, but being agreeable got me nowhere and just made me bland.

Women aren't robots, they're all different and just because one girl rejects you, another girl might love you for who you are.

H8CourtshipALot217 · 2018-05-27T19:05:02+00:00

as I have gotten older, certain things about life, reality, society, have changed my perspective, like they change my impact like this, it makes me say to myself "wow, never thought of it that way before but now it totally makes sense".

The way I see it, women don't need to know how to get a date or get a boyfriend, or attract a man, it simply "just happens" for them, but men are the only ones who need to know how to get or attract, get, I feel it makes sense because women don't have to do the pursuing

Title	How to find (not get) yourself a girlfriend
Author	NaturalPreference
Upvotes	107
Comments	12
Date	April 17, 2018 3:31 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8cxf47/how_to_find_not_get_yourself_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-find-not-get-yourself-a-girlfriend.1445010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1445010

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