How to respond to girls who have difficulty opening up?

hunterpua · 2018-12-28T22:24:40+00:00

How do I move more in-depth into convos about her when she doesn't give me anything to work with?

Multiple choice.

I was out once with a guy that would bail if a girl doesn't give him much and says, "Ugh, she sucks at conversations."

Sometimes the motherfucker would say that to girls' faces before leaving thinking it made him look cool or something.

And when we were out meeting girls together I landed on the perfect situation.

Opened a girl, she didn't talk much but her body language showed me she was interested.

So whenever I asked a question first I would pause and wait for her to answer.

If she gives me an "undecided" answer but I sense that she's trying to do better then I'll give her choices.

Do you like hot or cold drinks?

Do you prefer sweet or savory?

Coffee or chocolate?

Black or white?

Up or down?

If we use your example and she's undecided in her major ask her what she prefers more.

Creativity or structure?

Working with people or working with machines?

Building something new or keeping something running?

Hospitality or mastery?

You can also use more than 2 choices, just make sure they seem relevant to her and the question you're asking.

I met the girl that didn't talk much in a bookstore and the guy that made the excuse of girls not knowing how to have convos was peeking and listening in from the other side of the bookshelf next to us and he was able to watch and listen in on me basically using multiple choice to not only get her to open up to me but to get the interaction to the point that we were setting a date up towards the end of it.

Don't trust a girl's words (or lack thereof) trust her body and if you can see that her body language is positive towards you then you know you can keep going.

She's just shy, so just help her out and do game as usual with you filling the gaps she's having difficulty filling herself.

Technically, even though you're the one saying those things, she's still the one giving you the answer because she's the one who chooses the answer.

...

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misterandosan · 2018-12-29T02:55:31+00:00

Right now I'm dating someone who is extremely shy and introverted.

Like hunterpua has said, use multiple choice. Otherwise here's some things you can use:

Plan a date/activity that's interesting: E.g. rock climbing. Then you can both be in the moment and talk about that activity. By planning awesome activities, you're giving her life experiences that'll enrich her life. You're the person that's making her life exciting, and she'll be better off cause of it.
Move the conversation towards things she actually cares about.
Move the conversation towards things you are genuinely curious about with her.
Just talk about whatever the hell you want, and ask her opinion about it (Make it REALLY clear that her opinion is worth sharing, cause these types are apprehensive as fuck)
If she doesn't have anything going on in her life, you can be the inspiration. Talk about what she WANTS to do or what she likes, and explore that. Talk about the interesting shit going on in your life, make suggestions, etc.

madrid201808 · 2018-12-29T07:32:59+00:00

Can't believe no one has said this yet: make assumptions about her.

trooper9128 · 2018-12-29T02:50:50+00:00

Just get situational. No need to delve into her life if you’re just meeting her and she’s shy. Make a comment about the environment or the people in it. Then run with that. Your goal in the first 20 mins should be to just bring fun and humor. I

lorenam66 · 2018-12-29T06:28:05+00:00

Some closed off girls arent borring or shy or less open to people. Some girls just had prior trauma and are trying to be normal. Just be paitient and non judgy.

jackzander · 2018-12-29T02:20:37+00:00

boost my qualifying game

That's probably your real sticking point; Not all girls are susceptible to this, because they just aren't that interested in qualifying themselves for strangers.

Introverted girls typically don't want to be in whatever bar or club you've found them. Their energy will be different from yours. You can either build enough rapport to help them match your energy state, or you can relax and bring it down and just chill with them.

As always, playing a particular game is the more complicated choice.

2018-12-29T09:27:40+00:00

There’s some really good points here. One I’d like to add is acceptance.

Don’t be trying to make the shy girl extroverted so to speak. Be really cool with whatever vibe she’s bringing at the time, and she’ll relax around you naturally.

Also, just cos someone’s closed off doesn’t mean they’re not into you. You’ll have to find that out by asking them on a date, escalating, etc. Often they’re glad you did that, and if not they’ll let you know.

jayillavista · 2018-12-29T10:19:05+00:00

If you want to learn how to pickup women you have to first learn the psychology of a woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcb8eMS1Jrs&t=78s

undextrois · 2018-12-29T02:45:56+00:00

Learn to Bait

recyclablebanthas · 2019-01-03T04:34:39+00:00

1

When you're getting to know a girl and she says she's "undecided" in her major (aka, "How do I move more in-depth into convos about her when she doesn't give me anything to work with?)

She already gave you enough to work with, you just unintentionally ignored it because you had decided beforehand that you need a particular answer (a specific major) in order to continue.

But, "Undecided," is an answer you could be following up on, without another damn thing needed. Examples:

Why are you undecided?
What classes/subjects have you liked (studying) so far?

I will be absolutely blunt here. If she cannot answer a follow-up like this, then you need to consider that she's not worth the time or energy as a human being. Anyone who's totally clueless about themselves and their lives, is not interested in developing and just want someone to do everything for them. You can't fix that.

And you shouldn't be putting it on you if someone else is failing at being a person. It's ridiculous that we, as men, take it personally when someone else sucks, as if it's only happening because we have done something wrong. Cut it out, man. We all need to stop providing cover for this kind of nonsense. We all complain about these women who are full of themselves and full of entitlement, but then there are too many men falling all over themselves rewarding them for being that way.

2

or you ask what she does for fun and she struggles to find an answer, what are good quips/other ways of getting her to qualify or finding ways for her to stand out?

Again, just no. Are you kidding? If someone can't answer what they do for fun, they have cognitive or expressive issues you can't fix with a good one-liner, or she is struggling because she is afraid of being judged, which again you can't fix.

Imagine if a girl asked YOU what you do for fun. What if you sputtered and couldn't find an answer? What if you asked a dude what they do for fun and they couldn't answer? We wouldn't be making excuses in this case and asking how we could coax an answer out. We'd be moving on.

3

Keep in mind this is not a situation where a girl is saying "she's boring" to end the convo, but she's just introverted or doesn't have a lot going for her in life that she can proactively describe.

You're making too many excuses here. She's undecided in her major and can't tell you what she fucking enjoys in life. Now, being undecided is excusable because there are usually some interesting things going on underneath, like they just can't decide yet because they like too many things. Then you just dig up what those things are and talk about them.

But the inability to say what you enjoy in life, what you like to do for fun..... that makes the whole thing seem more unsaveable. This is someone who is just afraid to share basic aspects like what they enjoy in life. They're either lying and they just don't want to say what they like, or they have such a low opinion of themselves that they think their interests don't even qualify as a possible answer.

You. can't. fix. this.

And orienting yourself as someone who will fix someone like this, is going to attract some really lame shit into your life.

4

I'm looking for ways to boost my qualifying game w girls like this who need some direction in their life/are more shy or introverted....

Qualifying game, isn't worth worrying over. Getting someone to prove themselves to you, is a manipulative tactic that screens out people who aren't manipulative and leaves you with weak-minded people or people more manipulative than you.

venividivicivitches · 2018-12-28T22:07:06+00:00

Either move on because she needs to work on herself or tell her she’s so boring, jokingly of course. See how she responds and go from there.

Title	How to respond to girls who have difficulty opening up?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	116
Comments	30
Date	December 28, 2018 9:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aaet74/how_to_respond_to_girls_who_have_difficulty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-respond-to-girls-who-have-difficulty.1459499 https://theredarchive.com/post/1459499

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