I'm considering leaving my friend group because it's too hard to see them succeed so much where I can't

Allusionator · 2024-04-14T18:38:54+00:00

For the third or fourth(?) time, you need to enroll in some sort of therapeutic program to deal with these feelings. You’re obsessed, posting about these negative thoughts every couple days because they dominate your life. There’s advice we can give, like “comparison is the thief of joy,” but it won’t work because you’re too committed (not on purpose, not your fault) to this negative spiral about how unattractive you are.

What is up with this friend group if you never get to feel relief on these feelings with them? Do you have an equal/loving relationship with them or do they enjoy your failure? Something has to give, OP. I don’t think ditching your friends would make you feel better but maybe you should be leaning on them for more support. Better yet, enroll in some talk therapy to help you figure out how to better manage these negative feelings about yourself.

ShitFacedSteve · 2024-04-15T03:31:56+00:00

Dude, let me tell you something. The fact that the people around you are richer than you is not a reflection on their value or your value as human beings.

Sure, maybe they are going to Paris and getting new cars but not because they are "harder workers" who "wanted it more."

Plain and simple, they got lucky. They also benefit from capitalist American culture so most people, including you, believe these rich kids are better people and more deserving of their wealth than others. It's wrong, rich people can be mean selfish assholes like anyone else. In fact I would say it is more likely for someone to act like an asshole if they are born into wealth and privilege.

That isn't to say you should just give up and say "they're lucky I'm not so it is hopeless." The truth is, no one gets anywhere without hard work. So you should be working toward something that speaks to you. You should put your effort into what makes you passionate. And it's also important to recognize what you can and can't control.

How could you have realistically made the same amount of money as them? Bought a house when the market was low when you were a child, with money you couldn't possibly get, and then flip it when prices skyrocket? Worked 4 low-paying jobs at one time while saving every penny? Risk financial ruin on a business that will most likely fail?

Whatever method you could have possibly done to get rich like them, I guarantee it would require at least 100x more hard work than any of these rich kids ever had to do for their wealth. Granted, that isn't universally true. Upward mobility is possible, but that's the thing, it is still luck. Even you have seen this, you said yourself you went to a rich kid school just because you got lucky.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-04-14T21:50:28+00:00

I mean this in a nice way: Get therapy. You had another post where you were constantly jealous of your friends. Part of life is that you need to be able to feel happy for your friends. If you are unsympathetic and want to only be around people that are doing badly, the problem is with you.

When your next, currently failing friends start to do well, you are just going to act the same to those friends.

You can not be rooting for your friends to fail.

This is why I argue that the redpill is anti men: it teaches guys to be self centered and unsympathetic to other men, viewing other men as enemies. It encourages guys to not root for, and sometimes to even sabotage, their own friends.

I cut most contact with a redpilled friend of mine. He got mad that I make more than him and he used to cock block me when he saw me talking to women. Then he says stuff to me to claim I have no dating life. Also, times I mentioned going out with a woman, he would start bullshit dumping his red pill crap on me about why dates are supposedly bad (so I basically stopped telling him about women I was dating).

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-04-14T19:04:25+00:00

It sounds like these friends are your best chance to meet girls and learn how to talk to them. Not hanging out with them will just make things worse. Maybe be open with them that you struggle with girls and try to get their help.

watsonyrmind · 2024-04-14T21:52:44+00:00

I was growing poor and got lucky enough to win entry to a rich school and it feels like I'm there watching my peers talk about how their families are taking trips to Paris or London and how they all are getting luxury cars for their 16th birthday where my family considered a Digornos pizza a splurge.

Just out of curiosity, what was your solution to this at the time? Did you make friends in school? Friends in a different wealth class to you? If so, how did you manage these feelings?

AlwaysCheesy · 2024-04-14T17:56:16+00:00

I don’t know if I have any advice, but I can relate. I didn’t win a way into a fancy school, but my Mom is a single parent immigrant with no generational wealth. I managed to get through a tough university program and landed a decent government job. Everyone I work with grew up with two parents, is married and or has kids. They all have houses and make way more money than me. Talking to them about my experiences is probably the most frustrating thing about it because it feels like I’m getting gas lit by them when I try to illustrate the challenges in my life that they haven’t experienced. It’s honestly exhausting to be surrounded by so many people who have so much and practice so little gratitude or self awareness. But these people have been celebrated by the world, they have no idea what it means to really be an outcast. They have management parties at a resort while the overworked staff is struggling to improve products and stuff. We live in a very backwards world where many people will be rewarded for things that they have not worked for, and no one will recognize the things that have not been given to you that you have had to find yourself. It’s cruel, but the reality is most people who have good lives will never really see your challenges and struggles and the only thing you can do is pride yourself on them and move forward.

Raging_Dragon_9999 · 2024-04-15T03:51:34+00:00

Stay with them. Rising tides lift all boats. Ask for advice, put yourself out there.

For heaven's sake, do something like Charisma on Command's University Program.

Charisma on Command University

I can say this at 40 years old,

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO BE

REFUSING TO CHANGE MEANS YOU WILL NEVER GET BETTER

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-04-14T18:24:37+00:00

Nothing wrong in leaving a friend group that isn’t compatible and making new friends who align with your values and experiences.

meleyys · 2024-04-14T22:40:08+00:00

Seconding what others have said: It's therapy time. This is something beyond the scope of what internet strangers can help you with.

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frente91gn · 2024-04-15T04:16:13+00:00

Los contactos son necesarios, así que haces mejor en no perder su amistad.

wasted_basshead · 2024-04-15T12:49:45+00:00

Keep those friends into adulthood and as many as possible. They’ll hook you up with 2-6 figure jobs later on. Pretend you’re not jealous in the meantime.

Title	I'm considering leaving my friend group because it's too hard to see them succeed so much where I can't
Author	Over_Platypus144
Upvotes	16
Comments	62
Date	April 14, 2024 5:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1c3z4h8/im_considering_leaving_my_friend_group_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/im-considering-leaving-my-friend-group-because-its.1515087 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515087

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