My friends are all above average looking guys. I used to be so jealous of them that it was kinda destroying my ability to be around them because I would have to here about how whatever date they had went or how one of the girls we work with and him hooked up and stuff like that.

I'm trying to be better about it, but just hearing their life experiences is, in a word, triggering. I can't think of a better way to coin the feeling I get.

For example, one of my friends recently hooked up with a girl that had a boyfriend. He did not know, but still he did. He told us this and was kinda apathetic about it. This to me is a huge deal. The friend in question is super conventionally attractive and gets a shit ton of attention from the women around us, and just knowing that for some women, all it would take for a guy like him to come along and could sleep with any girl I had an interest in or was dating.

Also just hearing how women interact with them genuinely bothers me. Like right now, one of my friends was hooking up with two girls and those two girls are now hate each other after they found out he was casual with both of them. My immediate thought when I saw this happening was jealousy. I can't imagine a world where one, let alone multiple girls had such a level of physical attraction to me that they would fight over me.

These thoughts take me to dark places and headspaces I feel like it would beneficial to avoid. My previous solution was to just stop hanging out with them. Out of sight out of mind, but obviously I enjoy their company too much for that, so I'm asking for help here.