Disclaimers: we're religious, we don't believe in non-monogamy, porn, masturbation, etc. I am also being very blunt for the sake of being straightforward with this post, I'm not walking on eggshells, IRL I would not be this blunt about him and especially when talking to him. But I need straightforward answers because I'm at a loss. We have multiple issues going on that all feed into each other and I don't even know what to tackle first or how. Here's the state of things. Also I'm 24, he's 28, we've been married for 2y and together for 5.

He's fat and doesn't take going to the gym seriously, and keeps cheating on his diet. Been losing weight but just doesn't care enough to try hard (for reference, I've always been fit, even through pregnancy and postpartum when I was only slightly chubby and then lost the weight). He's emotionally immature and often can't handle minor inconveniences without losing his composure or needing my reassurance. Always overthinks everything I do or say to the point where we have conflicts daily over insignificant things like me saying something he took as an insult or rejection. He barely ever leads us when it comes to faith, if I don't request us pray, we don't pray at all. He used to defer to me for every single little decision and let me treat him harshly, which I have stopped because I realized I was not making anything better, only worse, but the damage has been done as far as me having a hard time respecting him. I used to be a lot more on edge with him back when I worked full time from home while taking care of our baby - something I did not want to do, we had agreed I'd be a SAHM, which eventually I became when our son was 6mo and I cracked. We used to only have sex once a week (even though I've never denied it, he just didn't want it), but I talked to him about it and now we have it 3-4x a week when I can (non-fertile part of the month, we use natural family planning) but it's generally boring. I try to spice things up and I really put in my full effort, but he doesn't reciprocate it. He half-asses it whenever I make any special requests and it's very obvious and disheartening. He makes sure I finish most times which I'm grateful for, but it's kind of always the same thing at the same time the same way, and he only lasts about 3min and has issues with either not being able to get it up or losing it entirely if he's not in the perfect headspace for sex. So I can't even bring up issues with him because whenever I do, he loses sexual function for sometimes weeks at a time. Idk what else to do. He's the only man I've ever been with, and we waited until marriage. He's had I think 6 girls before me but he says I'm by far the best, but it seems not to really be enough.

What can I do to help things - him wanting to be fit and attractive, wanting to lead and being less emotionally immature, and the sexual issues? I feel like if I didn't have all these conversations with him he'd be an obese, needy, asexual man and I'd be his dommy mommy, but I'm tired of being the leader.