Lesson learnt after breakup

CountTheBees · 2024-04-19T22:28:31+00:00

No offence, but he did the right thing. He moved out and saved you grief and time. His last action was strong, not weak. He seemed to have been genuinely upset about not having a forward direction and I think that is what he will be trying to figure out now. He may not change to be what you wanted him to be but I think he will definitely change in some way.

It is exactly these traumatic occurrences - setbacks at work/study, the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, and having to relocate, that make us stop and think about what we want and prompt us to change who we are. Modern medicine is extending people's lifespans so deaths occur later, food and resources are plentiful, so a lot of the experiences that would prompt self discovery and maturation are pushed back to later in life.

Jenneapolis · 2024-04-19T19:40:19+00:00

As much as people want to hate on the RP men, they have a powerful message for men about stepping outside of their comfort zone and getting in touch with their mission. This part of the message is something a lot of men need desperately.

I agree with you that many men don’t put in the effort because it’s just that, effort. This is why vetting and finding someone great is a challenge. I’ve seen a lot of comments here recently where people act like it is easy and comments like “oh just find a traditional man” but it is not ever this simple; if it was simple, we wouldn’t need a whole sub dedicated to it:)

I’m so sorry your relationship ended and this didn’t work out the way you had hoped. I know it doesn’t feel good right now but you did the right thing by raising the questions about your future to him and finding out now.

tintoretto-di-scalpa · 2024-04-19T20:51:46+00:00

Men are people just like women. They'll put in the effort when they think their needs will be met by doing that, and won't if they think it won't. Besides that, men and women are fallible beings and some falter more than others in a continuum of examples. Sometimes, people just don't put in the effort because they don't really need what that effort provides specifically, and that might imply that you're not the one for them or they're not at the right moment in their lives to take that step.

I disagree that society allows men not to make decisions if what you're implying is that society doesn't allow women to do so as well too.

There are certainly people who are afraid to commit and/or have no interest to put in the effort, but the reasons behind it are as many as the individuals and the circumstances do play a substantial part as well.

The same man or woman that might seem to drag a relationship for years might make what appear to be sudden moves toward commitment if/when they find someone they really want to take that step with -- even if the results are poor or it doesn't really work.

I appreciate you might be talking out of the heat of the breakup and might still processing what happened. But that's why I'm trying to warn you to be careful not to jump into conclusions, especially ones that seem all to easy to figure out in the heat of the moment when they seem to be kind of generalizations. Usually, they don't really provide information, and might in fact be misleading for you and for others.

willowaverie · 2024-04-19T19:34:18+00:00

I don’t think many women believe the lie that men are born immature I think they just say lines like that to maybe soothe some type of hole weak men without goals dig into them. Choosing someone without goals man or woman is always a poor choice

AutoModerator · 2024-04-19T18:24:48+00:00

Title: Lesson learnt after breakup

Author MysiaPysia666

Full text: So recently I posted about my boyfriend's lack of long-term plans, we ended the relationship.

However I had certain conclusion after this breakup and thought it could be useful for some of you. Sorry if similiar approach was shared here

Comtrary to popular belief, men are not immature, because they are born like this. They choose to avoid decision making, figuring out their needs and feelings, because it is an EASY choice and society lets them make it.

Why would they think about future, stress and sacrifice things in the name of long-term goals when they can just...not have lomg-term goals and still get comfortable (yet meaningless) life? Then they can just get up, go to work, eat dinner, play games and go to bed. Just like children do.

Growing up is external, it requires WORK - creating plan for yourself and commiting to it. In order to make a plan you have to know what you really need, and that requires emotional work - introspecting and getting to know your own needs. Then, to commit to the plan you need to change old habits, leave your comfort zone and face many challenges throughout the years without loosing enthusiasm, which requires willpower.

And apparently some men just decide not to put any effort into growing up and just live whatever life they have. In my opinion they are simply weak.

P.S english is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes.

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DiggaDiggaDance · 2024-04-20T18:46:24+00:00

I dislike how you phrased things. Men (or women, for that matter) who live a simple life are neither weak or childish. A general lack of direction/future planning does not make a bad person. I'm not saying you were in the wrong, and I understand that English isn't your first language, but I do think the tone of your post was a bit scathing and lacking in empathy.

bluejeanblush · 2024-04-21T01:25:35+00:00

At least in the U.S., I think part of the issue is that nobody is really teaching young men the value of having a wife and building a life with someone. I think people understand why marriage is important but I’ve known a lot of men who are approaching 30 and still think of marriage as something 5-10 years away, to the point that they shun good women who are looking for marriage sooner than that because they’re not ready. Instead of building together, I’ve known a lot of men who think of marriage as something they can only seek when everything else is perfectly in place. This is a mistake IMHO but we do live in a culture of swiping until you meet a better match so maybe it seems like you’ll get a better investment if you wait.

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carolwoodson · 2024-04-19T20:06:16+00:00

i agree

Title	Lesson learnt after breakup
Author	MysiaPysia666
Upvotes	46
Comments	32
Date	April 19, 2024 6:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1c841h9/lesson_learnt_after_breakup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/lesson-learnt-after-breakup.1515725 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515725

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