I recently found this old post from the FDS sub that I found to be very eye opening in terms of describing what actual “femininity” and “masculinity” truly mean, while at the same time feeling like it was common sense. And all without any of the gender roles and patriarchal ideology bleeding into it that you usually hear anytime anyone tries to describe universal“femininity” or “masculinity.” It is obviously from that sub’s perspective, but I really think it’s common sense and that everyone should read it and share what you think no matter what side you fall on.

https://np.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/s/ALnwOJA3rK

EDIT: For a summary of this post, see my reply to u/edgyny. I realize the FDS post I linked is long and people probably won’t read it, so please at least read that comment.

CONTEXT:

Living in modern times, people no longer are forced to marry for land, wealth, status, or “legacy.” Partnering up and marrying for love is a very new modern concept, and we haven’t yet collectively figured out how to deal with that. Women all over the world have been slowly but surely over time gaining more autonomy and rights to achieve equitable opportunities as men have had in patriarchal society. And what’s even the point of a society and making it healthy and sustainable if we’re not aiming to be pro-social and treat everyone with humanity and consideration? But we’re still figuring out how to adjust to this idea. As a consequence of people trying to learn what love is and what it means to live more authentically and happily without being forced into a restrictive box anymore, we’re also dissecting gender and gender roles, and inevitably most people are just very confused and trying to grasp at what it all even really means. We are buckled in for this wild ride to continue unfolding through time at this point in history, no matter how hard some people are trying to suppress it and live in the past.

So I come across this post, and I feel like maybe it would help others gain a more solid sense of feeling what femininity or masculinity really are, stripped of our cultural conditioning. It’s a lengthy post but I hope you all take the time to read it, despite your feelings about the FDS sub.

I think it’s also very relevant to PPD because so many people here seem convinced that femininity means just being agreeable, self-sacrificing, weak and dependent, nurturing others, doing domestic labor for others, excessive grooming, being indecisive, or basically just existing to “follow a man’s lead”…and basically just boiling it down to masculinity being about having more autonomy and control in your life while femininity being the opposite. I think it’s a very dumb way to try and think about these ancient concepts because this framework is designed to keep them forever in a power imbalance.

It’s patriarchal propaganda and not natural at all, because if those roles were so natural then we wouldn’t need men to create artificial patriarchal structures in order to enforce it. Yin and yang in Chinese philosophy are equal forces and not imbalanced, as they naturally flow together, so why can’t people see how dumb it is that we’ve been thinking of sexual duality in such a biased way? To put it plainly, it’s just a master-slave dynamic. And we’ve been brainwashed into thinking it’s “natural.” Men just seem less likely to challenge this idea or think outside the box about it because they get to be the masters in this dynamic.

Since TRP ideology seems rooted in believing that their worldview is the most “natural,” I’m especially interested in those people here reading that FDS post.