How to tell if it’s your looks, your personality or both?

North-Huckleberry-25 · 2024-07-04T19:15:32+00:00

Regarding your looks, the only way to know is by seeing a picture of yourself.

Regarding your personality, well, what's your personality like? Are you shy? Do you make eye contact? Do you smile? What are your hobbies? Do you have interesting stories about your life?

Wean1eHu11 · 2024-07-04T19:43:17+00:00

Sounds like you need to build your self confidence a little more, have an objective look at yourself and find what you like and dislike and then figure out what you can do to improve those areas. It’s a bit hard to assess and give actionable advice without knowing a bit more about what you feel is holding you back.

Tall girls, at least in my opinion, have a natural elegance that short girls don’t have which you could play into. However guys can find tall girls a little bit intimidating so perhaps you need to work on being more approachable. Eye contact is huge for us because any guy who also has good eye contact will notice, and it gives us a huge boost that you are open to having a conversation with us. I know the Australian scene and know exactly what type of girl you are talking about, but just play to your strengths

Greedy-Ad7224 · 2024-07-04T20:15:43+00:00

Speaking from personal experience as a guy who just started approaching people at the age of 26, a lot of men are just afraid you will reject them or that you don't want to be approached. You have to make it very clear to them that you're interested by smiling at them or even going as far as staring at them, then they will make a move if they are available and not too insecure.

But if you're really desperate, you can even go as far as making the first move by approaching the guy or starting a conversation based on the situation, and a lot of guys will appreciate that.

Ampboy97 · 2024-07-05T03:42:45+00:00

Approach them or make friends who meet your attachmen needs

One-Hedgehog4722 · 2024-07-05T17:27:35+00:00

Taller women tend to have a harder time. I remember seeing a girl i thought was very attractive, she was 6’3 and made lots of videos complaining about dating and not getting guys.

6372818949 · 2024-07-05T22:12:42+00:00

Your height doesn't matter to confident men. Sure, less men are likely to approach you because many are probably more intimidated by you since you're bigger but it doesn't mean you're unattractive.

KingOnixTheThird · 2024-07-04T19:51:20+00:00

Take a trip to The Netherlands. The average man over there is 6 feet and you'll find plenty of tall dudes willing to give you a chance.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-07-04T21:56:15+00:00

Sounds like you’ve decided you can’t win so you are not going to actually try.

I’m 6’ and I have dated women taller and bigger than me, it didn’t work out because I don’t drink and she got black out multiple times a week, nothing to do with looks, just vibe and integrity.

Have you tried shooting your shot? You may need to have serious discussion on what your ‘league’ is, most women are shooting about two leagues above their class, some have success and others complain about there being no good men.

There was a lady who started at my work, she was 6’1”, a big girl but pretty. She had visible tattoos up her chest, neck and arms. I have zero tattoos, she didn’t understand leagues and fell in love with me and said things to me that would get a guy fired. I was a little flattered at first but pretty soon it became uncomfortable for me, she quit, thank god.

Are you doing anything to help your chances of finding someone? Like working out, personal development or creating anything to attract someone, to me it sounds like you are waiting for the world to come to you, maybe try putting yourself out there and going for it.

tukipenda · 2024-07-04T19:53:13+00:00

What do you like to do for fun? It can really help to have a hobby where you make friends with guys. Having guy friends will help you meet more men and also help you build confidence. Hard to know how attractive you are without seeing a picture, but improving your social skills can only help. Lots of great activities you can do with plenty of guys (or even a higher ratio of men than women) - some examples would be board games, sports, D&D, martial arts, chess. Climbing, dancing, biking, running are other great options - although more likely to have an even mix of men and women (but nothing wrong with that). Don't worry - you're young - plenty of time to meet great guys!

FiftyNereids · 2024-07-04T21:27:30+00:00

TBH contrary to popular belief, for women a good amount of attraction is looks. Having said that personality is like a multiplier.

You will get approached as a woman for looking pretty, but the guy will only stay (for a relationship) if you have a decent personality. Though it is true there's a lot you cannot change about appearance it is also simultaneously true that there's a lot you can change physically. This includes physique, fashion style, and even mannerisms which all contribute to physical attraction.

So hitting the gym, getting fitter, doing some fashion research, and even upping your flirting game can raise your "score" 2-3 points (out of 10). So even if you're an unattractive woman who is a 5/10 you can get to an 8 assuming you push very hard to hit all the markers of attraction that is able to be changed.

With very tall women it is difficult because of a few things. Mainly it is because most men are conditioned to think that taller women would not ever be interested in dating them. Along with that there are indeed men who will not date taller women but tbh I have met plenty of guys who would, it has just been the case of the woman not wanting to date a shorter man in those scenarios. The combination of all these factors limit the amount of possible me who will approach or be interested.

With being a taller woman also, I would say focus on proportion if you decide to improve on the physical aspect of attraction. It would be a bit harder to look proportioned if you are taller simply because you will lean on the side of skinny (due to height). But all this means is you'd need to eat a bit more. If the problem is the opposite then the solution is to slim down. If you had to choose one though I would go with skinny rather than fat because most men will not be attracted to fat.

Lastly, one thing that may help is realizing that men will only approach if they feel comfortable and not intimidated. This means that there are various factors at play in a man's mind when they approach. If they are in a crowded place, if you are with your friends who are also other women or even men, all of these factors are treated as "vectors for rejection" and will increase the probability that a man will not approach. There are things women can do to make things easier for men such as being very friendly, or even being the one to say hello, or "good morning", or a remark such as "I love your shirt". Anything to signal to the guy you're interested that you're available to talk, the rest would then be up to the guy to do the approaching. However simply "lubricating" the encounter by making it easier for them to approach may help with your results. Even something as simple as smiling at a guy is sometimes enough.

In this day and age where cancel culture is at its peak, and men are afraid of being seen as "creepy", there are very few men in general that approach women. The one who serially approach women can be broken into two categories, either the sane ones or the insane ones. You will probably see a lot of insane and weird men approaching women because those are the group of men who don't understand boundaries or social norms enough to actually adhere to societal rules. This is why we see the stereotype "creep" who doesn't know no means no.

This leaves the "good men" who approach, who are men who are brave enough to approach but also know boundaries enough to know when to back off. There are far fewer of these men than there are creeps, and the idea that you'd be able to find one of these men who are ALSO attracted to you makes the game of probability extremely difficult. But not impossible.

Hopefully some of these tips can help you out.

Title	How to tell if it’s your looks, your personality or both?
Author	bowliat42
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	July 4, 2024 7:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dvenex/how_to_tell_if_its_your_looks_your_personality_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-tell-if-its-your-looks-your-personality-or.1523269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523269

Comments