I'm going to talk to an attorney tomorrow. What should I know?

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2024-07-05T15:48:53+00:00

Consult with multiple lawyers.

California is a 50/50 state. But ask the attorney the expectations and/or how to get it.

As you were a stay at home dad - lifetime alimony (to you, from her) should be discussed, as well as child support.

Also, ask for additional monies so you can get back in your feet - (IE, go back to school to get a degree or whatever).

Ask about division of assets. Not just checking/savings, but also the marital retirement assets. If your spouse has a 401k, pension you are entitled to a portion.

You are in the position a lot of women are in when they choose divorce - and they are handed at least 50% of marital assets, child support and alimony. You should get the same.

Good luck.

NBDad · 2024-07-05T13:17:26+00:00

Gather as much info as you can prior to the meeting. Info on the trusts, the value of the assets, what's owning against them, everything. Once you file, if she's smart, she's going to try and fight disclosing all of that info. Take your phone, and do a video walk around of the home (when she's NOT HOME for christ sakes). Day to day objects that may hold value are easily overlooked and forgotten in the moment.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-07-05T11:28:35+00:00

Prepare for the meeting - get a good handle on both of your finances, assets and income; have examples of what you do for your kids at the ready to qualify you as the primary caregiver
Realize that the initial consultation (if not paid and to some extent if paid) is a sales pitch for that lawyer to represent you, focus on outcomes not how you feel about the lawyer
Try to meet at least 3 lawyers
Talk as much as you can with them about their legal fees to understand and budget, ask them how you can save money
Be open about your mental issues, understand how they will affect your decision-making, communications and other parts of your interactions with your lawyer so you can both be sure the representation is a good fit - otherwise you'll end up firing them, them firing you or overpaying for the extra work you might give them that they can't handle effectively
If your mental issues will become an issue in court regarding custody, ask them how to counter that
ask about interim legal fees, ask about protecting yourself financially before filing, ask about false domestic violence claims or other tricks she can use to try to get you out of the house

Lawyers should want your case because you seem to be in the better legal position. Make sure they're willing to fight for you to get custody, child support, alimony and your share of the assets.

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-07-05T10:52:09+00:00

Get whats due to you buddy

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-07-05T10:19:44+00:00

Milk her dry for all of us lol

whoisgodiam · 2024-07-05T09:28:19+00:00

Dude, you won the lottery. Lifetime alimony. Make sure to never remarry or cohabitate and you’ll have automated income for life.

deenath247 · 2024-07-05T08:30:34+00:00

Don’t believe her lies… good luck 🤞🏽

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-05T04:53:29+00:00

Marriage that long, definitely alimony is on the table. Child support as well, and I'd ask about custody, how that would work, what kind of place do I need to get, etc.

Ask him about the assets. Typically, even if she placed them in trusts, it's still marital property unless it's irrevocable, which most trusts aren't. Talk about retirement, pensions, 401k, all of those you have a right too.

But don't feel as if no income and mental health means you deserve anything less than half of what was acquired by either of you. Lord knows plenty of us have had wives who didn't work with mental health issues who took us for more than half our stuff

CheetahBackground285 · 2024-07-05T04:12:18+00:00

The lawyer will sort you out. Not sure if California is a community property state but you will be ok. Hang tough. Sorry you are going through it. Protect your daughter at all costs.

Title	I'm going to talk to an attorney tomorrow. What should I know?
Author	circlesqrd
Upvotes	7
Comments	11
Date	July 5, 2024 3:53 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1dvowoc/im_going_to_talk_to_an_attorney_tomorrow_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-going-to-talk-to-an-attorney-tomorrow-what.1523319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523319

Comments