Do you tell her before you retain a lawyer?

Melodic-Grapefruit-4 · 2024-09-02T01:51:24+00:00

Fuck no. Don’t make the mistake I made.

GreenCod8806 · 2024-09-01T01:07:23+00:00

Fuck no.

soontobesolo · 2024-08-31T22:46:25+00:00

Absolutely not. She will go after you with everything she's got. You need to be prepared. See my most recent post for tips.

Appropriate_Breath91 · 2024-08-31T16:29:06+00:00

Don’t worry about her feelings; or being the “bad guy”.

Every man who has gone through this and wasn’t the one to file - wishes they were ahead of the curve!

And buckle up. You might get lucky; but women were built for doing their best to destroy their former husbands in divorce.

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-31T15:10:19+00:00

Nope. Have everything lined up. She will still do the dirty tactics you predict will happen. If you warn her they start earlier and she can really crush you if she makes accusations, police, steal assets, tell you family bs etc.

rsmiley77 · 2024-08-31T11:18:39+00:00

Nope.

Spend that time and energy on getting your finances in order. Separate bank account that’s not with your current bank. Make sure her name’s off your credit cards.

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-31T09:28:47+00:00

If your wife has time to prepare then she may take actions that could hurt you. Retain a lawyer and, aside from preparing the paperwork, ask what steps you should take to protect yourself or prepare for before she gets served. Don’t fear the response because if she is spiteful it will be bad regardless. If there is a middle ground perhaps you secure the lawyer, do what you need to prepare yourself, and give her a short courtesy heads up that papers are on their way.

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-08-31T06:03:40+00:00

For the record, I did exactly this. Don't help your enemy.

Internal-Wolverine13 · 2024-08-31T05:34:42+00:00

Nope. The first time she hears the "D" word from you should be when she's handed the divorce petition that your attorney filed at the courthouse the day before. It will tell her all she needs to know. Was she worried about "respecting" you when she was being an awful wife all these years? There are a lot of pre-divorce shenanigans like asset dissipation, false domestic violence accusations, hiding money, running off with the kids etc that can be preempted by filing for divorce without warning her. Divorce is a business transaction, you are dissolving a contract between you and her with the state government as a third party. Take all emotion out of it. Secure YOUR future by getting the best divorce outcome possible. It's like putting on your own air mask before helping others on an airplane, you can't be a great dad and help your children if you're financially crippled by the divorce.

Title	Do you tell her before you retain a lawyer?
Author	lifegoalispeace
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	August 30, 2024 2:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4w6hv/do_you_tell_her_before_you_retain_a_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-you-tell-her-before-you-retain-a-lawyer.1528904 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528904

Comments