My first dates 9 times out of 10 don't go anywhere.. feel more like interviews or a catch up with a colleague than anything else. Any advice?

letsbehavingu · 2024-09-25T16:25:08+00:00

Are you making them feel anything ? Laugh? How about on the phone? I would work on your phone game. Take some risks . Say stupid shit.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-09-25T16:55:49+00:00

Do the women know you have a walking disability before going on a date with you?

Any flaw you hide before the date, could become a problem during the date. So to save time, be more up front about your flaws. You'll get fewer dates, but the dates you do get will be better. If you're already up front about any disability you have, then the issue is probably more dependent on your behavior on the date

Long-Cat7477 · 2024-09-25T21:24:23+00:00

Are you doing dinner dates or drink dates? I did dinner dates and never got anywhere. It wasn't until I changed to drink dates that my luck definitely improved. I'd sit right next to them, side by side, flirt, lean in and out, talk real soft, let your voice trail off... Say sexy things like I love how your glasses are just slightly crooked or you're so smart, etc. Like really flirt. Avoid anything deep like problems you have at home/work etc. for the first date. This formula has worked beautifully for me the past few dates. Not as good as that guy who hooked up on 5 first dates. Damn, wish I could. I've tried believe me and got back to my place or hers twice but couldn't close the deal.

AngryGoose21 · 2024-09-25T18:53:31+00:00

so the last 5 first dates that I’ve had I fucked each girl within 3 hours of meeting her. this is strictly off dating apps and I haven’t done this with a cold approach so take it with a grain of salt.

I match them on the app and chat them usually setting something up for a friday or saturday night in the evening. have them meet me at a local cocktail lounge where the staff knows me and I’m very comfortable. I sit in an intimate location (usually couch) never across each other from a table. talk to her about anything and emphasize the emotions in whatever we’re talking about. light touching throughout the interaction on arm and/or leg.

eventually invite her back to my place for a handcrafted cocktail which is conveniently around the corner. once we’re at my place on the couch I express my desire on how bad I want to kiss her and how pretty she is. I never had a girl say that she didn’t want to kiss me back. after that fade to black bro.

I’m 5’8 but get a lot of compliments on my looks from guys and girls so take that also with a grain of salt

Past_Dragonfly8455 · 2024-09-25T16:54:50+00:00

Are you on crutches or in a wheelchair? I've definitely frequented clubs on crutches. Not calling you a catfish, but maybe there's a mismatch between your dating profile and reality? This is why meeting people organically is always better, you get what you see.

No_Hat9118 · 2024-09-26T05:34:08+00:00

How bad is this walking disability ? I imagine it has sth to do with that

Cherry-Bandit · 2024-09-26T06:26:36+00:00

I’ve never had a first date that didn’t go somewhere, you are aren’t attracting them, and at this point, it seams like you are unattracting them….

Stop treating it like an interview.

Also, attraction is 10% what you say, and 50% how you say it (and 40% looks). That 10% of what you say, the most important thing is to NOT say anything that will give them the ick.

Also, work on your keno. If you aren’t touching them casually at all, then you’ve got nothing. You’ll end the date as a friend 100% of the time.

averageguy694200 · 2024-09-25T20:57:52+00:00

Roast/tease them more and break the touch barrier as well. Women will be more likely to friend zone you if you don’t do this. Continue to do this and you’ll get better at it too. 1st dates are like literally anything else, the more you do it the better you get.

rando755 · 2024-09-26T03:07:08+00:00

I believe that there is a bias against men with disabilities, both physical and mental. I believe that evolution is the reason for that. Women evolved to want to mate with men who are healthy and athletic, both physically and mentally.

dan_schaten · 2024-09-26T05:44:19+00:00

You need more flirting

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-09-26T13:37:06+00:00

You need to start working on building comfort and connection on your dates. Implement banter, teasing, thoughtful follow-up questions, and stories into your conversations. Read this.

The other thing that's missing here is escalation. You don't need to worry about sitting next to her on the date (across is fine) or randomly touching her throughout the conversation, but you do need to make some kind of move at the end of the date. I always invite her back to mine and 2/3 of them are down for that and the 1/3 that aren't, I still get the kiss-close at the end of the date.

Title	My first dates 9 times out of 10 don't go anywhere.. feel more like interviews or a catch up with a colleague than anything else. Any advice?
Author	SpencerJWarner
Upvotes	42
Comments	30
Date	September 25, 2024 4:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fp8fa7/my_first_dates_9_times_out_of_10_dont_go_anywhere/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-first-dates-9-times-out-of-10-dont-go-anywhere.1531502 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531502

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