Dating after divorce

Most-Ad2879 · 2024-10-06T19:52:54+00:00

Most women are going to be turned off that you aren't divorced. I guess they won't know if you don't tell them. I'm for honesty but won't tell you what to do. (Of course, if you meet the perfect one, it's going to be awkward breaking it to her that you aren't divorced after all.)

But more importantly, rushing back into a relationship may delay your healing and set you up for a bigger fall. Divorce is traumatic. Your headspace may not be in the right place for making decisions. The woman you pick as a rebound may be a terrible fit for you long term.

I know you are thinking, "I'll just keep it light. This is about sex and as long as she knows it, no harm is done." But if you are in the wrong headspace, you may find yourself falling for that terrible choice just because she is the first person to treat you kindly in years. Or maybe she dumps you and it sends you backward even further than if you had waited.

I'd suggest focusing on yourself. Put then energy you would have spent dating into leveling yourself up. When some time has passed, you'll be better for it.

Outrageous-Quail5891 · 2024-10-05T11:21:08+00:00

Recently divorced here and it was an ugly one. You can read my story here on reddit if interested. Here is how things went for me.

After the initial shock has passed I installed tinder. Rather quickly I got a date, but I soon discovered that I was in no mental shape for that yet. So, I took a breather and focused on healing first. Went to therapy (which was already started before that), focused on time with my child, focused on work and hobbies, spending some time with friends and family. A bit over 4 months since I discovered the affair have passed and I was in far better state (both emotionally and physically) and I logg d back in to Tinder. Focused on quality not quantity, so not swiping right to everyone, but taking time to actually read the bio. And yes, even paid for 6 months of premium. Turned out that I wasted money since I found someone rather quickly, we are together (and exclusive) for about three weeks and both very happy. And both disactivated our accounts.

So, the question you are asking is a bit wrong. What you should be asking is "am I in the right mental state for dating?" and "did I heal enough or do I still need a bit more time?". If you believe you are ready, than go for it! If not, wait a couple of months, focus on improving yourself! Women will still be there and you will be in a better position!

Pro-IDGAF · 2024-10-05T05:10:41+00:00

just a personal moral issue. do what you are ok with and fuck anyone else that gives you shit for it.

i was fucking another woman before my papers where signed. still with her now after 5 years and she wasnt my side girl. that was my wifes trick. just someone i dated in college that was available.

Slowloris81 · 2024-10-04T22:51:40+00:00

I think it comes down to whether you feel like you’re ready or not. Don’t rush it. If you’re filing towards the end of the year that’s not too far away and might as well wait.

First-Bid8895 · 2024-10-04T22:35:54+00:00

Like these guys are saying. Fuck dating apps. Pure garbage. Try to remember the guy you were before marriage. Get back into doing the things you like and find new stuff you're into and meet like minded individuals. Some will be female of course. Get used to talking to new people. Don't be in a rush. Get ur head right so u know what you want and don't just settle cause you are lonely. Depending on ur state u might want to wait to date. That rhymes. Mic drop.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-10-04T20:18:13+00:00

I’d wait until the separation agreement is finalized. I started after SA signed and about a month prior to divorce being final.

koboboba · 2024-10-04T19:25:12+00:00

Go on vacation and have sex with different women to figure out what you like and enjoy being single. Don't fall in the trap of sticking with the next woman or single mother that spreads her legs for you and tells you all the lies you want to hear and heard from your ex.

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-10-04T15:20:03+00:00

Depends if it’s a no fault state she can go back and get you for your money, safe bet is to proceed when everything is finalized

No_Librarian_7059 · 2024-10-04T03:21:46+00:00

Can’t answer, but dating apps are hellish

Title	Dating after divorce
Author	Substantial_Top5148
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	October 3, 2024 7:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fvfpzp/dating_after_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-after-divorce.1532010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532010

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