At what point in the divorce process did you leave the house?

regertsrus · 2024-11-15T16:34:38+00:00

I left as soon as I discovered she a lying cheat. Yes I left MY home and MY kids. She used that fact to get exclusive use of the home which is fine. Had I stayed I wouldn't have to pay for a whole other appartment but that is silly to stay in such an environment.
Here is what most people miss when they tell you that you will lose 50/50 parenting time by setting this precedent that youre out of the house and their life: 1. This is less a precedent to give her more custody and more of a sacrifice to avoid acrimony infront of the kids. Normally judges will see that. "I left because I dont want to fight and affect the kids" 2. While you are out of the house and living it up, nobody is stopping you from taking the kids 3.5 days of the week or all 7 days. It depends on what the kids want. Alot of people don't understand this concept. In you leaving the marital home, you're not surrendering anything related to custody. Infact you can leave and take them with you so long as the kids desire that. Eventually if you can't agree on custody and she starts filing orders against you, the courts will assign a child lawyer anyways to determine the will of the kids 3. The above 2 comments depend on your kids being the right age. So if you have like a 3 and 5 year old then it's less likely you will get 50/50. If your kids are 10 and 12 then the child lawyer will take their opinion. In the end it's really up to the kids. While everyone is going to say "it's between the parents to decide", that is more a pipedream than reality if it's a contested and nasty divorce

In my instance, I left 3 years ago. Left everything. Stayed in motels for 5 months. Saw my kids maybe 2 days a week at first. As time went by and found my footing and a new family and girlfriend, things changed. I started seeing them on a more equal share during the days. As more time went by and I moved back within walking distance with my g.f. and her kids, this is when things changed. My kids having me near to their homebase wanted to stay overnights on an equal share. My stbx refused immediately and started lobbing grossly deceitful petitions and cps reports that were unfounded. While she is doing these things the kids notice. They notice mommy don't talk to any of her siblings and her own mom who go through me to see the kids. They notice the new boyfriend who moved in like a mooch and started alienating me within a month. I just took them. I kept them when they were willing to stay on her presumed time. She couldn't do anything as there was no custody agreement. I just did what the kids wanted without asking her. When the child lawyer reached out and expressed her displeasure with me not co parenting. I simply explained my self, my kids desires and all the lies. I politely told all the lawyers that I will do as the kids desire. The judge disregarded all her complaints as well. Today 3 years later I am finally faced with more lies, order of protection (x3) numerous false allegations with the PD which I have shown as lies. She is not being punished for lying and I am not being punished for calling her a compulsive liar while a court order prevents "harassment". The order of protection judge kicked that case back to the family court judge because nobody believes her anymore. She has suffered loss after loss when it comes to the kids. I have considered that may be at the kids expense but they all do great in school and they want to be with me despite me having far lower living conditions. What is my moral here? You're not a criminal? This is not a criminal case. You have strangers (judges and lawyers) who are here to decide your right to parent however until that decision is rendered, they are all powerless to change anything..

AlwayzzRight · 2024-11-15T16:19:57+00:00

I am reading in Texas with kids for a 100% uncontested divorce it would take 60 days.

techrmd3 · 2024-11-15T16:17:50+00:00

THERE IS NO WAY YOU FINALIZE IN 60 IN TEXAS WITH KIDS (read this again)

the 60 day thing is for 20 somethings with an apartment and a cat.

Heck it will take 60 days for the Judge to review and sign the FINAL DECREE man... get real

Move out when you want the location of Dad normally does not matter in Texas unless there is an abandonment issue.

KIDS slow down everything and the Judge will triple check any settlement.

Divorce is divorce, living in a separate place is it's own thing

With Kids I really really recommend you get with a Divorce Attorney and get a normal filing together. There are too many ways you can mess things up badly and really really cripple your future.

SIDE note - IF you are thinking about moving out to a new lady friend THAT KIND of moving out IS a big deal. I would strongly STRONGLY suggest you move to your own place not to someone else's house unless it's close family member.

itoocouldbeanyone · 2024-11-15T16:02:22+00:00

I haven’t left until agreement is done, money is in my hand and housing has been found.

Do not give anyone an easy out. Protect yourself and your kids.

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-11-15T15:37:35+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ Repeat that to yourself 10 x. Seriously. Here's why:

Once out, she becomes the primary caregiver & You're the "weekend dad." or "walking purse".
You create a precedent in custody, compromising chances of getting 50/50
Her 👹lawyer might drag this divorce out for years for Free housing and financial support. Texas requires a 60d waiting but this is the minimum.
BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce
Worst case: You pay for a house while she brings in the new BF (real example: Sarah Jane parkinson bring home his BF with his 3 kids)
Don't fall for her suggestion, claiming it's better for everyone/kids. She will only benefit it. Remember, kids often recall the parent who left
If you wanna leave anyway despite all that, ask for fair rental value compensation, no free lunch on you !

So stay until Temporary orders are in place, outlining custody & financial responsibilities &divorce very near completion.

Remember: Your goal is to be an equal parent, not a 🏰Disneyland Daddy in your kid's life. Stand your ground

twayevrynmeistkn · 2024-11-15T15:32:52+00:00

I wish I could leave. She trapped us both in this house with 75k in credit card debt.

Title	At what point in the divorce process did you leave the house?
Author	AlwayzzRight
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	November 15, 2024 3:28 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1gryv3x/at_what_point_in_the_divorce_process_did_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/at-what-point-in-the-divorce-process-did-you-leave.1535855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535855

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