I'm not a men's rights activist, but I got a question

No_Reaction_2168 · 2024-12-05T19:35:53+00:00

"The patriarchy" implies that the blame lies with men yet again. This is why men cannot stand you feminists. It's never your fault, no matter how wrong you are, always men's. Maybe if you spent less time blaming men for every little thing, they'd be more willing to listen.

The patriarchy is not real. The patriarchy is something women made up to point the blame at something for things going wrong in their lives. Ask any non-feminist man and he'll tell you that a patriarchy does not exist, because there is no system made by men for men that all men inherently benefit from. The only ones who benefit from this system are the 1% of all men, but guess what? There are also women in the 1%. If this system was truly such a boy's club, then why wouldn't they just ban women from participation? If we were really so afraid of strong and empowered women then why are we giving them a voice to vent their frustrations in university talks, for example?

General_One_4380 · 2024-12-05T19:40:46+00:00

Always with patriarchy bullshit

PlzSendDunes · 2024-12-05T19:41:03+00:00

The concept of patriarchy is so vaguely defined that anything could be dragged into it. So it serves for feminists as a boogeyman. Anything could be claimed that it is.

On the other hand, the majority of men can't show their emotions, because they are punished for that. If a man loses his job or gets sad, cries or gets angry all of a sudden everyone around them start attacking, most of whom are women in their private lives. Not showing an emotion is a learned ability from circumstances that many men face when they deal with the real world.

Excellent_You5494 · 2024-12-05T19:44:06+00:00

1) men can't cry or show emotion. This is blatantly from the patriarchy, since it wants men to be "strong" by not showing emotion 2) I can't think ok anything else atm but i do know there defo is more, so do y'all get my point

That is not a problem with men, most can cry, and it's certainly not some world spanning evil patriarchy preventing it. It is a very hostile word that demonizes men by its usage and etymology, nor does it properly describe the actual hierarchy we live in. When confronted with this fact, feminist say, "you just don't get it," or call you a misogynist.

As for feminism itself,

https://youtube.com/watch?v=hj719mKBIB8&si=lC2ZnSvQRIPPR1aY

https://youtu.be/ZKe8BxvjZIs?si=DGMElfZZ1lZ2YrQ6

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGFFi6pRCnCdQTe1iG3Tw4Td9jvhY2w74&si=3EniSu8DF6pKffyi

https://www.khoury.northeastern.edu/home/shivers/rants/scum.html

The patriarchy isn't a problem, it doesn't exist, it just provides a perpetual excuse for feminists to hate men.

Nothing they currently do, and little they have done has relieved systemic discrimination of males, or other systemic problems men face, they usually sit there and say, "well, it's your fault," while promoting the very discrimination.

Huckleberry1340 · 2024-12-05T20:37:21+00:00

Question: have you ever considered that we live in a plutocracy or an oligarchy, not a patriarchy?

Gabixzboi · 2024-12-05T19:34:19+00:00

There's no patriarchy in the west.

63daddy · 2024-12-05T23:09:14+00:00

We don’t live in a patriarchy. We can’t remove that which doesn’t exist.
Feminist efforts to advantage women over men directly oppose MRM efforts for men’s equal rights. Many of the inequalities men face are a direct result of feminism. NOW, the largest feminist organization has opposed MRM efforts to achieve equal child custody laws. Feminism has won laws disadvantaging men in job hiring, in business ownership, in healthcare, in education and more.

CeleryMan20 · 2024-12-05T19:41:51+00:00

Men can’t cry or show emotion because women get the ick if they do.

ElisaSKy · 2024-12-05T21:21:43+00:00

"Why don't mens rights activists and feminists work together to remove the patriarchy."

Because we want to resolve real problems that we have actual evidence exist rather than removing a made up and thoroughly disproven supposed tendency for men to put other men first.

Next question please?

Angryasfk · 2024-12-06T00:24:15+00:00

Hilarious. Your view of men’s issues is the feminist throwaway line? “Oh if only men cried, they’d have no issues at all”. Or the other one, “men just need to talk more”, say the same feminists who then moan about all this “emotional labour”.

This is in part why we cannot work with feminists (and I’m not an MRA either, merely a sympathiser). It’s all about pushing what they want. They’ve no interest in men’s issues at all. Mostly because for them everything is a zero sum game.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-12-05T22:18:46+00:00

I have trouble believing the theory that The Patriarchy even exists. Certainly, sexists are a thing, and there are inequities in society. I just don’t believe that blaming men for all the evils of the world is a fair thing to do. Patriarchy is a gendered term, and to blame all social problems facing women and men on The Patirachy is to necessarily believe that only men can be villains. There cannot be a female “patriarch.”

Case in point, the reason why men can’t show emotion publicly has more to do with pleasing women than male social pressures. It’s women, not men, which are largely to blame for men bottling up their emotions.

For traditionally minded women, acting strong and stoic is a large part of what attracts them to you. If you break the illusion, even for a moment, she may “get The Ick”and lose all respect for you.

In the feminists case, similarly harsh expectations exist, even if they’re different in nature. You ARE allowed to cry, but you’re not allowed to openly express anger, make dirty jokes, or otherwise be problematically masculine. You have to be safe, non-threatening, and performatively asexual. You can’t ever allow yourself to make a women feel uncomfortable. You can’t criticize a women when she makes a mistake at work the same way you can criticize a man. Same emotional suppression, just different emotions.

Successful_Video_970 · 2024-12-05T19:47:22+00:00

I’ve never heard the word patriarchy before this year. Feminism, a long time ago. Bye the way boys. Everyone of you are allowed to cry. I have. Usually because a woman has ripped my world apart with a lie. What a ridiculous comment that she must of heard from her two teenage redneck friends that are hiding from the fact that they have been lovers and they cry all the time. Let’s stop responding to these woman because it really is a waste of time. They are so dumb.

The_Glass_Arrow · 2024-12-05T21:47:21+00:00

Western world doesn't operate with the soul benefits of either gender.

Some areas the other gender trends to thrive in, but it's not limited to one.

A patriarchy means it's built for souly for men in mind. Men only hold the power. Men benefit in situations before a woman. This isn't the case at all in the Western world.

MR is around because feminism has left men behind. There is very little men have to gain from it. Just as there's not a lot for women to gain in MR.

We should all be fighting for equality, but we can't all just ignore our own equality.

Cold_Mongoose161 · 2024-12-05T21:50:03+00:00

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0742051X22000993?via%3Dihub

In this paper, we study the presence of systematic differences between teacher non-blind assessments and external blindly graded standardized tests as a measure of grading misalignment. Using a large administrative database covering two student cohorts (N = 31, 183 pupils) from publicly-funded schools in the Basque Country (Spain), we explore the grading gaps found between these two type of assessments for several student characteristics using fixed effects modeling. We find that, after controlling for standardized achievement, systematic teachers’ under-assessment exists for student groups that, on average, lag behind in school: boys, children from an immigrant background, and low SES students. The observed data patterns withstand several robustness checks, including the use of instrumental variables approach (IV) and other alternative regression specifications.

Boys, immigrants, and lower SES students receive lower teacher scores, after controlling for external achievement.

Explain this.

Aggressive-Bad-7761 · 2024-12-05T22:27:41+00:00

So dumb .. no feminist can even explain what the patriarchy would be replaced with and why it would be a utopia. Patriarchy itself is a vague concept, a convenient bogeyman feminists can just summon and blame absolutely everything on men. Feminists talk about smashing it and defeating it but it cannot really even be concretely defined it’s this abstract in-the-clouds concept.

flashliberty5467 · 2024-12-05T22:42:03+00:00

On the issues that we agree with feminists on I have zero issues working with feminists in a coalition on a given issue

If feminists want to abolish the draft okay that’s great we will gladly work with feminists to try to abolish the draft

I don’t believe a female CEO worth billions of dollars is “oppressed”

Glittering_Smile_560 · 2024-12-05T23:34:30+00:00

You see it's simple Men want to be treated as human beings we also get a lot of stigma around mental health and crimes committed against us by women. Feminists at least modern Feminists want to destroy men and in some extreeme feminists they most likely would be happy if all men died In reality men's rights and feminism can never co exist in harmony unless women see men as human beings and not potential monsters. infact you can barely discuss men's rights to a feminists as they'll almost always turn anything you say into some form of insult. Example if a man is talking to a feminist about how men commit more suicide than women the feminist is almost always garunteed to respond with something like domestic violence statistics or rape statistics. This results in the feminist completely disregarding anything the male says and turning the conversation into men bad men deserve it.

CeleryMan20 · 2024-12-06T09:36:06+00:00

For some wildly varying views on men's and women's advocacy and gender issues generally, you can compare subs like twoXchromosomes ("twoX"), askafeminist, leftwingmaleadvocates ("LMWA"), theredpill, debateincelz, menslib. Such a variance is part of the reason the two sides can't work together, because there are dozens of sides, not just two.

To see why males feel like the tide has turned against us, check everydaymisandry, boizarequirky, ...

One of the circumcision fetishist subs recently got banned after a petition - there is mention of that on LMWA. A lot of the men's subs like MGTOW have been banned for years.

riel_pro · 2024-12-06T16:53:29+00:00

In one hand i applaude you for asking, in the other after reading your statement im not gonna discuss

khanivorus_rex · 2024-12-06T12:22:53+00:00

What do you mean by the patriarchy

reverbiscrap · 2024-12-07T13:19:46+00:00

Sister, if you are serious about this, I can recommend 2 books for you to read. They are heavy as hell, but they are fantastically informative.

The Man-Not, by Dr. Tommie Curry

Anti-black Misandry, by Dr. T. Hasan Johnson.

Also:

https://newblackmasculinities.wordpress.com/2020/09/24/the-black-male-political-agenda-by-t-hasan-johnson-ph-d/

AfghanistanIsTaliban · 2024-12-07T16:06:11+00:00

remove the patriarchy

In order to remove something, that thing must exist. So, slogans like “smash the patriarchy” have the implicit premise that a patriarchy exists (including in the West, where the slogan is most commonly uttered)

I hope you can see the fracture between MRA and “pro-feminist” men’s groups like menslib.

This is blatantly

I’m not seeing the blatant connection. Patriarchy (if it exists) wants society to serve men and for men to have complete control over society. So I am seeing the motive for why Patriarchy wants men to not cry (to ensure total domination and not appear weak). However, there is no indication that Patriarchy actually caused men to avoid crying, or that it is the only cause for such phenomenon. In fact, it could be mothers that enforce this rule the most. We do not know enough to start pointing fingers at boogeymen

funnybillypro · 2024-12-05T19:45:32+00:00

Mannnn this is way too reasonable for this subreddit.

Title	I'm not a men's rights activist, but I got a question
Author	The1one-n-only
Upvotes	0
Comments	87
Date	December 5, 2024 7:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1h7hjyv/im_not_a_mens_rights_activist_but_i_got_a_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-not-a-mens-rights-activist-but-i-got-a-question.1537704 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537704

Comments