What advice would you give to someone still in r/redpill who is questioning their beliefs?

xvszero · 2024-12-16T23:44:17+00:00

Keep questioning. Look at sources other than your red pill ones.

Also, step back and ask... what kind of person do I want to be?

xweert123 · 2024-12-17T00:51:37+00:00

The most important thing to do is to figure out what an echo chamber is, and also figure out what confirmation bias is. After that, it's important to look outside of that echo chamber, and to not focus so hard on observations that confirm your biases.

One of the biggest failings of redpill ideology is not understanding that humans are unbelievably complex and diverse, and thinking that entire groups of people all think and behave exactly the same. Actually learning about all the different types of people there are and opening your mind to how diverse and interesting each human being is and how complex their story is, is a great way to shatter that redpill misconception.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-12-16T23:53:55+00:00

Broaden what you're reading, and talk to real people out in the world. Ask them if any of the redpill stuff you believe applies to their relationships. Look at what couples you meet look like and act like: does this line up with what the influencers say?

StayCool-243 · 2024-12-17T04:52:24+00:00

Would you want your daughter on the receiving end of this? What about your friend's daughter? Or your own sister or mother?

Also, are you at peace? Can you keep this up forever? What does this look like at age 40, 50, etc.? How do you want to be remembered?

meleyys · 2024-12-17T01:14:48+00:00

Look into the actual statistics about gender and dating. If someone provides you a source for a claim, read it and see if it lines up with what they're saying. But don't just read one study and think you've understood an issue--find out what other studies say, how many have been done, what the scientific consensus is.

As an example of the way red pillers distort the truth, you know how they're always saying that women find the majority of men unattractive? Well, that's true... if your only data point is a single survey of OKCupid data from a few years back. And that survey also found that women were more likely to approach men they deemed unattractive than vice versa. Funny how that part always gets left out, isn't it?

Specialist_Key6832 · 2024-12-17T12:13:59+00:00

Maybe you can tell us what beliefs you still have and which one you have already abandoned ?

The reasons why I stopped the redpill is because I realized many of the so called redpill influencers were nothing like the archetype they are trying to sell others. Sure I don't expect anyone to be perfect but, as far as human being go, some of them need serious therapy, and maybe prison.

Then I started reading book, Cynthia Paine Red pill ideology, lifting the shiny wrapping from the manosphere was very helpful for me.

I've come to realize that many of the idea, the data that the redpill quote to prove their idea and beliefs come from an artificial world. Many of them like to refers to studies made by dating apps for instance, as explanation for women preferences in dating. This is so wrong. Dating apps, and social media as well, are using algorithms designed to make a bunch of people money, nothing else. They are artificially created to keep you desperate in order for you to give your money. Does drawing conclusion from data provided by these apps and generalizing about the real world seems realistic ? I don't think so...

And ultimately, in real life, you can also look around and ask yourself, do people around you really look like the archetype they are trying to sell you ? Rich, handsome, 6 foot, blue eyes, squared jaw, mc laren. Even the redpill influencers look nothing like that most of the time. I, for instance, am 5'11, I have some muscle but not so much, but I am also balding and poor. Does that make me miserable and stop me from dating ? Absolutely not. As soon as I socialize a little, I'm still meeting girls.

daisy-duke- · 2024-12-17T13:50:11+00:00

Watch Ali Wong's Single Lady.

42 years old.

Recently divorced.

With two school aged daughters.

Wealthy.

And talented. She recently won two Emmy awards.

All traits men claim to not like on women.

Ali debunks the manosphere in real time.

^{And no. Other women in similar standing to her, eg. Keke Palmer, Halle Bailey, etc get trashed by private citizens despite they have more than enough to provide for their children. They are only missing a husband.}

Equivalent-Cat5414 · 2024-12-17T02:25:49+00:00

1 thing would be to not generalize women, especially falsely assuming that even the majority of us only want rich, handsome, older, tall men.

ashaw7 · 2024-12-17T03:49:46+00:00

I would probably say to dig into the scientific validity, by reading scientific literature to see what research is actually saying about human behavior and the behavioral differences in the sexes.

Aggravating_Crab3818 · 2024-12-19T05:00:13+00:00

To check out Mark Manson

Brutally Honest Advice for Young Men

https://youtu.be/y3M2vkyG3w0?si=GJs-CSKZjgEE4wV4

Sagecerulli · 2025-01-21T09:03:30+00:00

I'd watch Contrapoints' video on Incels (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD2briZ6fB0), and her videos on Envy (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhrTOg1RUk) and Twilight (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqloPw5wp48&t=5292s). They are fun and entertaining but also make some very good points. Also check out the YouTube channel Cinematherapy -- its just a great channel, and also does a lot of unpacking of relationships.

Spend more time outside the internet interacting with real people, and notice what you see. Notice when red-pill ideas start creeping up, and take a step back to examine whether they line up with reality.

And read literature by women. To me much of the red-pill seems to be men making pretty drastic assumptions about womens' internal states. There's no better way to open you mind than to (for lack of a better term), get inside a woman's head.

I'd suggest reading a smattering of genres, including old and new books (though maybe stay away from pure romance).

- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

- Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen -- note Austen's social critiques. Her books aren't just romantic fantasies; they're criticisms of the social order.

- anything by Ursula K. Le Guin (The Dispossessed), Octavia Butler (Parable of the Sower), N. K. Jemson (The Broken Earth Trilogy), or Yaa Gyasi (Transcendent Kingdom)

- The Thing Around Your Neck by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

- Educated by Tara Westover (a really good book about paradigm shifts);

- Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue by Kristin Kashore;

- Wonder by R. J. Palacio,

- The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri,

- Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller

- Maybe something by Rachel Cusk, though she writes more about motherhood now than romance (which is totally valid, maybe just not what you're looking for).

- Also consider reading Judy Bloom, though she was more my mom's generation.

Good luck!

Title	What advice would you give to someone still in r/redpill who is questioning their beliefs?
Author	Fun-Contract1559
Upvotes	2
Comments	15
Date	December 16, 2024 11:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1hfx34q/what_advice_would_you_give_to_someone_still_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-advice-would-you-give-to-someone-still-in.1538711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538711

Comments

1 thing would be to not generalize women, especially falsely assuming that even the majority of us only want rich, handsome, older, tall men.