Really going through it right now.

THX1138-22 · 2024-12-30T14:30:28+00:00

It's great that you are aware of what you are going through and reaching out to people on this forum. But it would be even better if you could reach out to people in real life. "stay in my room and watch TV" is what worries me--you should join clubs and get out into the real world. Identify 2-3 hobbies you have, and sign up for clubs. Check meetup.com for groups that meet in your area. Turning outward, not inward, is the best way to deal with this burden.

SeaweedWeird7705 · 2024-12-28T15:55:21+00:00

It will get better.

Recent-Persimmon6160 · 2024-12-26T21:12:13+00:00

Hang in there… it will get better

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-12-26T18:56:59+00:00

I feel your pain man. Very similar situation here. I work full time, work ANY overtime that I can (it’s not a lot) and hustle with side jobs. The ex works part time and my kids come to me for all the big expenses (like $600 for my daughter’s cheerleading)

I recently started donating plasma, which I recommend. Just did a promo where I made $650 for 8 donations. Takes about an hour per donation.

Anyway, hang in there man. I have to remind myself this is temporary. We just have to weather the storm week by week.

MotorBoatingCFL · 2024-12-26T04:40:33+00:00

Hey brother! First I wish you peace and a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart.

I hear you loud and clear.....seems like the walls are closing in around you and there is no way out......BUT just like in an ultra marathon, it's one foot in front of the other.

When your mind says your body can't go another step,......you know it's a lie, a limiting belief to preserve you......you can always take another step.

You have already proven to the world and more importantly to YOURSELF that YOU have the mental fortitude to NOT GIVE UP.

You are the 1% of the 1%.

Never give up, no matter how bad conditions get.

If you need someone to talk to send me a message.

I watched It's a Wonderful Life for the first time last night....... perspective shift......you have made a huge impact on this world and there is so much to be done.

Stay strong 👊🎄

NoWalrus5028 · 2024-12-25T21:51:54+00:00

Brother, I know the feeling. I had to reach out to psychiatrist lately for some stuff I'm going through. Whatever you do, don't give up.

BarryJGleed · 2024-12-25T12:03:44+00:00

Keep going. You might, hopefully, look back at this post, at this time, and think, “I didn’t know if I would get that through that, but I did”.

I don’t have advice. Or the solution. Just encouragement. You’ll get better. It will get better.

mysteriouslypuzzled · 2024-12-25T10:51:16+00:00

Right now you're on the front line. And the front line is hell. But you're gonna be OK. Just keep on fighting. And speaking of fighting. A punching bag really helped me. Frustrated? Punching bag. Stressed? Punching bag. Horny? Hand.... 🙃

BlueSkyGreenMeadow · 2024-12-25T08:49:27+00:00

I don’t know who you are … but feel the pain. I pray for a miracle on Christmas Day. I experienced very sad day …not divorced yet … but saw my kids cry in sadness as it became evident this parent and family unit may not last..divorce is inevitable and many years has been pushed and what we have is empty souls filled with hatred But more than sadness on my side , your main challenge i finances. Let’s try to find any men’s self help group and mental health group… call suicidal hotline… worst case I can help you out for a few weeks with money but I am not a big shot but can help you through for a couple of weeks. Not sure which state you are in you just need one decent trustworthy friend to help… your life is valuable. People in this post please vote to make laws fair… when a woman cries she is tricking … when a man cries he has been tricked.

sicrm · 2024-12-25T05:43:00+00:00

try to get back into running. it doesn’t have to ultra marathons to start. could be morning jogs

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-12-25T03:00:12+00:00

You're not alone. Everything you wrote is what many men here can relate to.

I have always been by nature the goofy happy person but divorce has really changed my life as yours. And your mention of death by suicide in your circle is what compelled me to write.

Ever since I heard a friend mention similar thoughts, I had began thinking about them too. I never thought I would ever entertain it. It didnt help when id deal with another issue and put myself down by saying i couldn't handle the pressure. It took me a long while to get those thoughts out. I'm much better now.

Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself of all the great memories you have had since divorce with your kids. I'm sure you have many. Focus on that. Your kids need you and you need them.

Everything is temporary. It will pass. Stay positive and find a solution to get outta this mess.

I'm also searching.

redwzrd · 2024-12-24T23:58:25+00:00

Keep your chin up man. We go through trials and tribulations but it will only make us better and stronger. We are here for you and each other. They say steel sharpens steel. You are not alone alot of us know what your dealing with.

OkAbbreviations7449 · 2024-12-24T23:49:38+00:00

This is all temporary. You have to keep that in mind. Focus on your job and your health. Everything else is secondary right now. Focus less on your kids right now. Do you actually need them 50% of the time, why do you have to have them 50%? You need to survive, this is your survival. These kids will be happy having their dad with a long lifespan, not somebody that burns out and falls off a cliff because you have to force 50% and you’ve left nothing for yourself.. Focus on your health, your sleep and your job. And remember this is temporary.

Ob1onone87 · 2024-12-24T23:49:32+00:00

I’m sorry brother, stay strong man you got this

Separate-Delivery-97 · 2024-12-24T23:47:17+00:00

hang in there bud. your kids need you so you must stay strong for them. Don’t let this chapter define you; feel the pain, embrace this new journey and get back to what you were. You don’t need to rush this process but start small and celebrate your wins along the way. Get back to running and exercising to rebuild your discipline. Happy Holidays, we’re all wishing you the best going forward!

Commercial_Music_931 · 2024-12-24T23:46:13+00:00

Yeah the system is pretty fucked and the deck gets stacked so heavily in their favor it's unreal. There was nothing you could've done man and atleast your fuckin trying.

You are still there for your kids and when they get old enough they'll be able to see through the bs. They'll appreciate you didn't suck start a shotgun and be glad your still around in the ways you can be.

The dark tunnel won't last forever. You've just gatta rage against the dying of the light and eventually it'll pass. Will be years but it'll pass. She'll continue to age and find that men aren't willing to deal her bs anymore. Or she'll find some loser willing to be her money pig and then she'll be his problem.

One day she won't be able to siphon your money away and she'll be high and dry without a real career to support herself.

Title	Really going through it right now.
Author	deathbat19884
Upvotes	46
Comments	16
Date	December 24, 2024 11:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hlp8mr/really_going_through_it_right_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/really-going-through-it-right-now.1539427 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539427

Comments