Ever catch yourself thinking: “I don’t want to fuck this up”, “I hope i don’t say something wrong”…

If that’s your mindset you are already fucking up. The easiest and fastest way to fuck up with a woman is by being outcome dependent and needy. Those type of phrases show you are both of those things.

It subtly frames you as a guy who is there to seek validation and trying to be approved by her, (which is a bad and counterproductive frame to be in) instead of being a guy who is there to see if she is worth your time and good enough for you to keep giving her attention, which is the right frame to approach interactions with women.

Your mindset screams desperation and puts you on uneven footing from the start. Women pick up on that energy immediately, and it kills attraction because it suggests you’re coming from a place of lack. Instead of focusing on not messing up, shift your perspective to assessing whether she meets your standards.

When you approach with the mindset of, “Let’s see if she’s interesting, fun, or intriguing enough for me to want to continue engaging with her” or “let’s see if she deserves to go on a date with me”, you naturally communicate confidence and self-worth. This flips the dynamic and makes you the catch.

It’s about having the internal belief that your time and energy are valuable, and you’re not there to earn her approval. You’re there to discover if she earns yours. That’s the difference between chasing and leading.

Men who have success with women lead, they don’t chase. They set the standards. Think of it you are the one taking her on a date, which costs you money and it takes valuable time.

You should be picky and make sure that if you spend your money and time you don’t just spend it in any random girl just because she is cute. She needs to earn it or prove that she is worthy of going on an amazing date with you.

Value yourselves, or girls won’t value you.

Peace.