Hey guys, reporting on how things have been. It's been eight months since my ex told me she wanted a divorce, six months since I've last seen her, and four months since we've been legally divorced. I had to write her a big check, guess I'll just work forever, and she has her own place in a different state now.

During this time, I've focused on diet and exercise, although it's been hard to avoid some self-destructive behavior like cannabis gummies on a frequent basis. Because we didn't have sex for a full TEN years during our 16 year relationship, post-divorce I decided to see escorts which was exhilarating at first and is still great for what it is. Dating-wise, I have no interest in having a woman invade my life at this time. I should also mention that despite us being together for 16 years, my ex has basically cut off all communication which has been hard.

Emotionally, I suppose it's gotten a little easier but I certainly don't feel like I've "come out the other end" of this. But little by little, I keep moving forward and moving on. A few realizations as well: first, if you feel like your ex disrespected you during your marriage, it's likely going to get worse in divorce and that's just their true colors. Second, it's not about my feelings for my ex-- it's about how she makes me feel about myself. And the reality is that when I try to initiate contact she makes me feel like shit. So I do my best to stay away. The failure of my marriage is a sobering chance to rebuild--as daunting as it is. I remind myself to be grateful for a new phase in my life. In my messed up marriage, I was fooling myself that everything was great--or that I didn't deserve more. Where I am now is a place that still hurts-- but the pain doesn't lie about what's right or wrong--and again I'm grateful to roll the dice on this next stage of life. Onward!