Struggling today..

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2025-02-20T17:33:58+00:00

I have the advantage of being an alcoholic in recovery and found that the fellowship of men in AA to be immensely helpful.

If you have other men who are close friends, spend time with them and talk.

BlueHarvest17 · 2025-02-20T16:10:11+00:00

First, I let myself feel sad because it's a sad situation. It's normal to feel sad. You should feel sad. So, take some time just be sad for a bit. Then, come up with something that might make you feel better. Could be something small, like going to the gym, running an errand, getting a coffee, walking around the block, calling a friend, playing a game. Whatever. Just do something good for yourself.

27 years is a long time. It will take time to get over. But, allow yourself that time. If you sit with your sadness a little bit, you'll find it isn't so present or overpowering. And then you can switch to something positive.

Hang in there. It gets better day by day.

Striking-Cod1089 · 2025-02-19T20:43:43+00:00

It's been two years since I finalized. Lots of progress. But there's still some rollercoaster stuff happening. There's no rhyme or reason. It's less frequent.

Plow through, see if tomorrow is better?

InternJimmy07 · 2025-02-19T17:10:05+00:00

Gym or find a hobby and reward yourself and forget what was. Positive thinking

cherales · 2025-02-19T15:48:48+00:00

Physical work / exercise seems to help me.

I’m avoiding drinking too much too, not always successfully.

I’m one of those poor sods with long COVID*, so can’t over do it like I may have done before, but I’ve been in the garden today preparing the family home sale … it’s just shit at the moment.

However, whilst I thought I would feel awful the fresh air and exercise seems to have helped today.

It’s all helped recharge my batteries, so find out what helps recharge yours?

A few weeks ago I could barely get out of bed, so when the house was empty of the OH and our children I made sure the place was clean/spotless, had a shower, and slept for the best part of a day. That helped me recharge a little too.

On another occasion I went to a concert on my own, had quite a few beers (but not too many!) and had a brilliant night out on my own. Made a couple of new friends and may reach out to them again.

There are still days when it all kicks in really hard (married 24 years, together for nearly 34, three lovely children) and in my 50’s I never expected to find myself here.

On the one hand I feel like I’m in my own Truman Show type horror film … but on the other I’m not living in a (literal) war zone and so whatever comes my way - so long as I keep recharging my batteries - I think I’ll be ok.

Please find whatever works for you to recharge your batteries - aside from (too much) booze, drugs, and anything (too) illegal!

Some days are simply still just so sh1te that I just pull the duvet over my head.

I know now though so that as long as I don’t do it too often that it’s ok for me to do so.

I’m new to this Reddit but in my very brief time here I’ve already seen a couple of posts that have helped me.

I hope you can find help here too. It’s Reddit of course so you may need a healthy pinch of salt with it all too.

For now though, I do hope your days get better.

(*a previously healthy heart now isn’t, hey ho)

OldGuyNewTrix · 2025-02-19T14:53:55+00:00

I feel this. The waves can come on strong. I’m prescribed Valium because I couldn’t physically take it. That’s not that best route for everyone though.

regertsrus · 2025-02-19T12:59:47+00:00

I burried myself in new woman. That worked amazing! But i always picked the easy way out. She in turn burried me in all sorts of fun and activities that i always enjoyed and my stbx didnt. I rediscovered my youth. The kids followed me shortly after. I climbed out of hell and into paradise. I still live in a roach motel, now with a large blended family but man divorce worked out really well despite a very rough start where i wanted to be erased from this planet for about the first year.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-02-19T12:46:19+00:00

Man I feel you. For the first time I checked out the dating apps last night. Made some fake profiles to see what was out there. Let me tell my mood and outlook improved drastically. Just seeing how many women are out there.

My wife cheated on me. I've been searching for answers and but the only answer is she made a choice. No one held a gun to her head. She had every opportunity to say no. But she chose to talk, get close, and take her clothes off.

Nothing I can do about that except move on.

JustSomeDude7287 · 2025-02-19T05:24:56+00:00

Burying yourself in work won’t help, you’re distracted.

Best to take time and understand the emotion and labeling it. Let it through you. Healing isn’t linear, some days are good and some days you’re a fucking messing.

Have your diet changed? Sleep? Routine? Sometimes small things have a big impact and we don’t realize it.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-02-19T05:06:16+00:00

Try to figure out what triggered it and process that. Otherwise, just ride the waves. Get therapy and work your way through the grieving process.

Title	Struggling today..
Author	Minimum_Surprise_611
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	February 18, 2025 5:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ishuvw/struggling_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/struggling-today.1544307 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544307

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