My fiance has lost someone very close, how can I be supportive?

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2025-03-22T10:06:40+00:00

It sounds like you're doing the right stuff.

Just be prepared for this to take a long time. He will never fully "get over it." But he should eventually start to emerge from where he is. He should start to have periods of not thinking about it. In those times, be light and fun to be with.

If, after a few weeks, he's still under the duvet or showing signs of depression, seek advice on what you can do for him.

Jcrystal82 · 2025-03-22T14:11:51+00:00

And don’t forget to give yourself some time each day to grieve…it’s not selfish. And will help you be present to support him. Sorry for your loss and sending strength ❤️

Ill_Coffee_6821 · 2025-03-22T14:37:57+00:00

You’ve asked what he wants and needs already, so as long as you’ve let him know he has a safe space to talk, I wouldn’t try talking to him more or supporting him with words. Seems like you’re giving him good, restful sleep, doing everything to make his life easier.

The one other thing I’d say is it can be typical for the man to embrace us and be the one who spoons us, etc. Have you tried just holding him and not saying anything? Like if he’s in bed or on the sofa, just rubbing his back without saying anything or cuddling up and holding him? I think it can be so hard for men to ask for what they need, and often men aren’t the biggest talkers or aren’t ready to talk, but everyone likes to be held and feel close to their partner. Do it without expectation that he talk or reciprocate in any way.

CategoryFlat6044 · 2025-03-22T17:24:29+00:00

First, I want to acknowledge how thoughtful and self-aware you're being in handling this—it shows genuine care and emotional maturity.

When a man experiences deep loss, especially if it's his first real encounter with grief, it's important to understand that he likely processes it internally, compartmentalizing while trying to stay composed. Many men feel pressure to keep their emotions under control, even when they're breaking inside. You’re already doing well by giving him space, providing practical support (food, rest), and not overwhelming him with too much “hovering.”

Here are a few suggestions:

Be a calm, steady presence. Men appreciate quiet, reliable support rather than constant verbal check-ins. Sometimes just being physically there—without demanding emotional expression—is enough. He may not want to “talk it out” immediately, but knowing you're solid and unshaken makes a big difference.
Respect his silence and timing. If he opens up, let him guide how much he shares. Avoid pushing for emotional vulnerability on your timeline. Simply letting him know you’re there if he wants to lean on you is powerful.
Keep his environment stable. Small things—like maintaining routines, keeping the home peaceful, handling daily tasks—will help him feel grounded when everything inside might feel chaotic.
Encourage masculine outlets. Physical activities (working out, walks, hobbies) or being around trusted male friends can help him process emotions indirectly. Support these without suggesting he “needs” to do them—just make space for them.
Refrain from trying to fix the pain. You can’t solve it for him, and that’s okay. Your role isn’t to remove the grief, but to stand beside him as he moves through it.

Sending you strength, too. Supporting someone through grief is never easy.

Radiant-Use-9447 · 2025-03-22T08:30:26+00:00

Have you asked him what he wants? Needs? Wishes for?

Other than that, try and tell him that you're supportive of him and if he feels he needs anything, all he needs to do is ask. He might not be able to verbalise it, but he'll appreciate the offer.

AutoModerator · 2025-03-22T08:11:21+00:00

Title: My fiance has lost someone very close, how can I be supportive?

Author The_Gilded_orchid

Full text: My fiance's closest friend took their own life last week. He is devastated. I am doing my best to care for him without hovering. Making sure he has food, peaceful rest etc. How else can I support him without being overbearing? Loss is something I have had to deal with many times in my life, but I think this is his first experience losing someone he is close to.

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Title	My fiance has lost someone very close, how can I be supportive?
Author	The_Gilded_orchid
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	March 22, 2025 8:11 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1jh3o4u/my_fiance_has_lost_someone_very_close_how_can_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/my-fiance-has-lost-someone-very-close-how-can-i-be.1547010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547010

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