March 31st 2025 I (25) filed for divorce from my now wife (25). I have been married for 1.5 years and known her for over 3 years. Prior to me filing, she would demand things, yell at me, and never take no for an answer without a small fight. She would beg me to have kids and wanted timelines for it, while I wasn’t wanting them yet (she wasn’t so set on them before marriage). I have slowly lost who I am in general, and have considered divorce for well over 6 months now. Over the last 4 or 5 months, I’ve noticed small changes in how she treats me, like actually giving me space instead of banging on the door and threatening to call for a welfare check, and yet with our lease ending in July she told me that she cannot give up her dream of being a mom if I’m not ready yet, and would need to move on. During this whole time I would tell her during arguments that I was on my last straw, and would communicate that I feel so much pressure and so many expectations in big things and little daily things. I suggested couples therapy and was rejected as well. A few weeks before I filed, she hopped on an anti depressant Traxadone, which she didn’t want, but her dr recommended it when she went in for a physical exam.

With the lease ending somewhat soon, and her essential ultimatum to give her a child timeline, I filed for divorce, and she signed the citation. What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. She started understanding my pain, being so nice, and says she doesn’t want kids any time soon because of this filing. We had a trip planned well before filing and we went on it, and it was honestly so much fun. She was so kind and caring, and still pleading with me not to go through with the divorce. She came back around to want couples therapy and just overall is saying literally exactly how I feel, which is something that never happened before I filed. She now reflects on what she did wrong as well which is very refreshing and gives me space to do my own thing.

Throughout this process, she has been applying to jobs near her folks which is over an hour away, and she might end up getting a job. If that’s the case it really does seal the deal but and she keeps telling me that I need to speak up now if I want to stay together or forever hold my peace. Her behavior shift, mixed with her new medication, makes me think and fear the “what ifs” if I decide to leave. Is the medication legitimately making her a nice human to be around?

The trip we took, mixed with her kindness, mixed with her timeline yet again of ensuring this is what I want has made me question everything. Am I making the right choice? Am I going to regret this? What if her change is genuine? Will I be okay alone? It’s all so hard and difficult, and it really is crunch time. I was okay with filing before this trip, but I seriously wish I didn’t take it knowing I’d feel worse and more torn afterwards.

I just need to motivation and clarity, and I know you cannot do that fully by just what I wrote, but if there is anything you notice in my summary of my relationship that stands out as “dude why didn’t you leave a year ago” I’d like to hear it.