I feel so stupid

HLMaiBalsychofKorse · 2025-05-22T16:29:01+00:00

Dude - you should be celebrating. Do you know how many guys *never* snap out of it? You were able to see through the bullshit within *days* - grifters are out there selling that shit HARD to guys these days, and some of it is pretty well hidden in "normal" videos (my partner is into F1 racing, and YT floods him with red pill crap right after he watches highlights - and he is as far from that world as is humanly possible).

When things have seemed to cool off a bit and everyone is calm, tell her that you didn't realize how much it bothered you that you weren't having sex as often (or whatever your relationship issue is), and you are very sorry that you let that unrealized upset boil over and become her problem. Tell her that you really want to work on making your relationship a safe, supportive, happy place for both of you, and that means being honest when you screw up.

Then, on your own, ask yourself some questions, and be honest (I wouldn't do this *with* your wife unless she *really* wants to help - she didn't ask for any of this, and she can't fix it/avoid it for you).

Why was the red pill attractive to you? What are you unhappy about? What specifically bothers you? Let yourself get as ugly as you need to - this is for you. Then you are going to break down what the *real* problems are - not the ones the red pill tried to convince you of.

So, if it is, "I feel like my wife doesn't want to have sex with me as much as I want to have sex with her":

What could be making her seemingly less likely to initiate sex? What does she do - does she work? Take care of kids? Clean? Manage the household? Does she do things for you so that you don't have to? She might just be exhausted, and needs to be reminded that you love her dearly, you want to make her happy, and you also think she is hot stuff and want to boogie. Also - are you initiating? When you do, are you just humping on her, or do you focus on her too?

Try taking some things off her plate by surprise. That chore she hates? It's done before she gets to it. That errand she has been avoiding? Do it for her. Don't ask her how to do it, just do it. Don't require praise, just do it. Then keep that up (this is good stuff to do for everyone who has an SO). Don't be excessive - that can come off as manipulation - but picking up chores and activities that your spouse hates without being asked is kind of an aphrodisiac for most women.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2025-05-22T15:53:17+00:00

Glad you came back to your senses. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the FOMO and need for validation (more than actual desire for sex) can get to us men despite our better natures.

Edit:

sex weaponizing, resource extracting

This sounded like you were describing an extraterrestrial probe manipulating humans , lol. Feminine robotic voice : “Access denied. Initiating resource extraction”

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-05-22T16:07:28+00:00

How did you discover this garbage, and what snapped you out of it?

VisceralSardonic · 2025-05-22T20:30:51+00:00

I’m proud of you for snapping out of it!! It’s impressive to reverse something like this when the ideology swallows so many. It’s okay to work with your wife to work out the problems more directly. You were clearly seeking a solution, so couples therapy, open conversations, etc. may be helpful to address things in a healthy way. Truly, kudos on recognizing a harmful path before you were too far along it to go back. You’ve got this.

saito200 · 2025-05-23T07:24:49+00:00

the red pill is attractive because it sounds appealing. women carry all the burden for men's weaknesses

it is also a bunch of disgusting garbage that will destroy you and everything around you

it caters to the childish narcissistic part of our personality that is afraid of self reflection and does not want to feel accountable

octave120 · 2025-05-22T20:38:48+00:00

I second all the comments here congratulating you. It takes a great amount of self-awareness and bravery to notice and acknowledge that you’ve been lied to. You’d be surprised how many come here asking for help, only to double-down on their redpill mindset. Hope things work out between you and your wife!

Material-Bus1896 · 2025-05-22T19:45:25+00:00

Dont be too hard on yourself, the people pushing this stuff are griters and yea, they almost got you, but you snapped out of it. Well done

TemporaryGrowth7 · 2025-05-22T22:46:30+00:00

Very glad to hear that it was only a few days…

Bitter_Rose2 · 2025-05-22T16:01:39+00:00

I will never understand how people like you can do this to someone you claim to supposedly love.

Honestly, any adoption of red pill behaviour or beliefs should be an instant divorce.

Magrathea_carride · 2025-05-28T01:42:43+00:00

I don't understand how making someone feel insecure is supposed to make them want sex. Insecurity makes me want to hide, not take my clothes off

Kohana55 · 2025-05-23T02:52:24+00:00

Being upset your wife won’t fuck you is valid. But kicking and screaming about it like a child is not “red pill”. That’s just pathetic.

Title	I feel so stupid
Author	Additional_Twist_177
Upvotes	99
Comments	43
Date	May 22, 2025 3:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1kstwvi/i_feel_so_stupid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-feel-so-stupid.1552840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552840

Comments