How do I come to terms with the fact that I am damaged goods, and won't find a decent partner?

pearlsandstilettos · 2025-07-06T15:23:03+00:00

OP, you were already warned by u/MoreThanPurple that we don't allow rant posts and you need to be willing to engage with the advice beyond arguments. Since the tone of your responses has not changed, I am locking this post. We are not a femcel sub and are only willing to help you if you are willing to help yourself.

chrisabulium · 2025-07-04T17:21:55+00:00

You are not a damaged good — you are a person. Take care of yourself so you have enough to give and contrary to what you believe, a good man will take you seriously, the bad ones will not. None of what you’ve listed are red flags. Red flags are character issues, and you have none.

Magicallypeanut · 2025-07-04T17:36:04+00:00

First and foremost, you are 25 and survived a lifetime of trials already. You are not damaged goods. You are not worthless. You are priceless. you are a human and capable of deep love and compassion. You can't buy these things. They must be fostered and protected to grow.

A real man, a good man, will see that and love you with all the trials you've survived. Loyalty counts for so much more than you know when it comes to men.

Good men are out there i promise.You'll have to go through a lot of frogs to find a prince. Given your ex, you know better than most what those frogs look like. Now you can avoid them. This "man" you were with still has some claws in you if you believe you are damaged goods. Don't believe that for a moment longer and don't give him any more of you mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I have a whole host of mental health and physical issues. I can't have kids. I am disabled. But I bring value to the relationship because I am loyal, compassionate, accepting, and trustworthy. I love him fully and deeply and he also reciprocates this.

I know you feel the clock ticking. Still, take time to work on you, get your health and mind in a better spot. Recover from those things. Do not settle. It is better to take a year or two to get yourself in order than to settle for a low value man and waste that time.

Deplorable_X · 2025-07-04T18:08:57+00:00

You are 25, still young. Here in London I see women at 35-39 finding men for life partners. Give yourself time, heal and build yourself up.

By all means, try some therapy. It is not healthy to see yourself through the lenses of what men would value in you. You are a person, and have to learn to be kinder to yourself and love yourself. Look after yourself the way you would want someone else to look after you.

TheFeminineFrame · 2025-07-04T17:21:34+00:00

The way you talk about yourself is awful. “Damaged goods” On another one of your posts you referred to yourself as a “cum dumpster” The energy you are putting off is more repulsive than your narrow hips.

I don’t want to sugar coat things. Infertility and cannabis will be deal breakers for some men. But not all. I can also understand the social implications you are facing from sleeping with the enemy.

This does not mean that you are a hopeless case.

Get some therapy like yesterday.

When (and this is a big WHEN) you are in an emotionally healthier place, search for men who will love you. Older men who already have children and are more emotionally mature. Expats who don’t have any beef with Russians. Look into relocating to a place where you don’t have a reputation.

Empty_Alternative_98 · 2025-07-04T17:15:49+00:00

Honey, the men that won’t take you seriously because of your traumatic experiences are not good men.

Good men are among other things empathetic or at least sympathetic. That’s actually genderneutral, good people are among other things empathetic/sympathetic.

If you can afford it, consider going to therapy. You’re in a vulnerable state and may not make the best choices in terms of men, especially now that your self esteem seems at an all time low.

I’m really sorry to hear about what you went through. Best of luck and keep your head up high!

pearlsandstilettos · 2025-07-04T18:04:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CountTheBees · 2025-07-05T04:23:05+00:00

Who are the kinds of Polish men that are unattractive to Polish women? Any chance you can find one of them attractive?

cowgirlfr0mhell · 2025-07-05T08:07:56+00:00

You are absolutely not “damaged goods”. As other users have said, focus on improving your self esteem, consider relocating or spending some time away from your hometown. You are still so young. There are absolutely lots of good men out there, just be patient and kind to yourself

Cyrone007 · 2025-07-05T08:49:00+00:00

"upon learning this information, all the guys just called me a used up slut or tried to fuckzone me"

Polish men truly sound like keepers.

jaytayaza · 2025-07-05T17:45:09+00:00

My suggestion would be to find a hobby you really enjoy and focus on that. Do lots of stuff to do with your hobby (find the right gear, go do the thing, even if it's a solo thing, find other people to talk to who do it, meetups, etc,.) And make some friends. Even just female friends.

And see who else you meet from it. When people see you in your "element" doing something you love (and perhaps something they love too?) You will be easy to fall in love with regardless of all the stuff you mentioned in your post.

Economy-Debt5822 · 2025-07-06T04:50:21+00:00

OP and anyone else feeling this way, I am begging you to watch this short video..

tyyyy110 · 2025-07-05T01:28:46+00:00

As an older man, I can assure you that there is a decent/ good man out there for you. You just have to change your mindset, make yourself marketable, relatable and get back out there living in expectations.

Few-Formal-5927 · 2025-07-05T00:29:32+00:00

You don't know what plan God has prepared for you, trust him, pray, he is always with us.

Mellowbirdie · 2025-07-05T06:42:41+00:00

IDK why specifically you are saying you're infertile. I do know that the body has an incredible capacity to heal herself when given the right inputs. I'm happy to share resources in that department of you're interested.

Caring propeo for your body is one of the most profound ways to heal all parts of yourself, including your mind and self esteem, which it seems like you're struggling with.

AutoModerator · 2025-07-04T16:39:00+00:00

Title: How do I come to terms with the fact that I am damaged goods, and won't find a decent partner?

Author SobiniaArt

Full text: I am 25. Divorced. Infertile after a stress-induced miscarriage.

To make matters worse, my ex-husband was from Russia, which is a MASSIVE dealbreaker for Polish men, those from my country. When I tried to date after my divorce, upon learning this information, all the guys just called me a used up slut or tried to fuckzone me, and when I didn't go to their place to "drink wine" or "watch a movie and have fun" at 8 pm, they blocked or ghosted me.

I also have Asperger's, very disproportionately narrow hips, as well as chronic neck pain from 2 herniated discs (my ex tried to break my neck upon finding out that I was pregnant with his child and didn't want an abortion), for which I take medical marihuana - no other medication helps with the pain while allowing me to function at the same time, and because of this, a LOT of guys treat me like some drug addict (Unfortunately, using cannabis, even for medical reasons, isn't as socially acceptable here as in the USA).

Even one of these red flags would filter out 90% of men looking for a serious relationship, let alone all of them combined. I am quite literally damaged goods and unlike reformed club hoppers and party girls, there's no way for me to hide it.

I know that I won't be taken seriously by a good man. With every date I go on, it becomes more and more clear that I don't have the RMV, looks and social capacity to charm my way into a serious relationship and marriage.

So, what do I do at this point? Like every normal woman, I want to be loved by a guy. How do I accept and live with the fact that it won't happen for me? That I will never receive flowers, have a huge wedding, or fall asleep in the arms of someone who loves me? How do I build a happy life without a partner or family of my own?

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12sushi · 2025-07-05T08:30:11+00:00

Sorry about your situation. Try online dating with Indian men. Most good men still consider you a catch appearance wise. Good luck

MoreThanPurple · 2025-07-04T19:06:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Past-Bus-6143 · 2025-07-04T23:28:23+00:00

Think about is as filtering out the asshats. You wouldn't have known those particular men could talk like that otherwise. Might have taken years to find out how awful they really were. You're looking for a man who would never behave that way to a woman with your history.

LillithSanguinum · 2025-07-06T07:42:10+00:00

Go to church, find a good husband. You don't have to tell the whole truth in every detail about your past.

darkwifevanessa · 2025-07-06T06:54:25+00:00

Maybe you could find a divorced man who has children and doesn't want more? Or a man who does not want children? Or one who is willing to adopt? Or maybe an older man?

If I was divorced and infertile by 25, I would also feel like damaged goods.

Title	How do I come to terms with the fact that I am damaged goods, and won't find a decent partner?
Author	SobiniaArt
Upvotes	61
Comments	33
Date	July 4, 2025 4:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1lrn7y0/how_do_i_come_to_terms_with_the_fact_that_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-come-to-terms-with-the-fact-that-i-am.1556339 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556339

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