The Trouble With Wanting Men

I saw this article recently from the NYT and it's kinda crazy imo. I think the author of this completly wrong.

First, her friend says "It’s called ‘sexual tension.’ Stay with it for a minute and you might get some." I don't understand wtf these ppl even mean by "Sexual tension" and y they're speaking to men in such a condecsending way.

Then, the author of this article says "working ourselves into a frenzy of laughter over men’s inability to “man up and [expletive] us.” Obv she meant "fuck us" here, but it's kind of crazy to me these self-proclaimed "progressive" ppl say this kind of shit all the time. Like I'm sure the author of this article would describe herself as a progressive feminist, but she just seems like a bad person to me tbh.

"Un a smug, chauvinistic way: Where were the men who could handle hard stuff? Like leaving the house for sex?" I don't understand y they think this is hard, nor y they have to be smug and chauvinistic about it lol. Makes no sense to me.

"The therapist mused about the anxiety of needing to “justify the phallus.” “You know,” she said, “from the child’s point of view, it’s like, ‘I get what Mom is for, but what are you for? What’s the point of your thing?’” This sent us miming confrontations with imaginary members — “Who invited you?” “What’s your deal?” “Are you lost?”"

Jesus Christ. Like this is kind of insane imo. Like holy shit, y these ppl so insistent on making fun of men, I geniunely don't understand.

"which led to wisecracks about the not-so-precision scalpel of the surgeon the therapist was seeing"

Honestly this is pretty disrespectful imo. Talking about their male partner's penis to her friends is actually insane from this women, espically since she's a therapist, and also, I think it's 100% true that women r hypergamous, cuz this therapist is literally dating a fucking surgeon, YET HE'S STILL NOT ENOUGH AND SHE'S STILL MAKING FUN OF HIM. Like holy shit I don't understand y she did that.

"It was when they were put on notice that they can’t just get drunk and grope us."

That's such BS. I hate these talking points cuz it's all garbage and the reality is most women don't want most men, so whenever ppl say that kind of thing, it pisses me off, cuz it's just not true. MeToo and movements like that r extremely harmful for men imo, and men r rightfully anxious about women, not cuz "they can't get drunk and grope us" but cuz there r so many false allegations nowadays, that a man has to be extremely careful about anything they do or say.

"just the other day my ex-husband"

Honestly speaking, this just reinforces my idea that this author is a bad person. She divorced her husband, and that's not normal imo.

"He is gentle, goofy, self-deprecating, rather deferential, a passionate humanist, a sweet guy, a “good guy.” He tends to signal, in various ways, his exemption from the tainted category of “men,” and it is perfectly understandable that he would wish to do so. It must be mildly embarrassing to be a straight man, and it is incumbent upon each of them to mitigate this embarrassment in a way that feels authentic to him."

LOLL this is y so many ppl so women r so contradictory. On 1 hand they want a man whose "masculine" confident, bold, direct, not anxious about sex, "man up and fuck her", take the initative, etc., but on the other hand, she's describing all these traits. This is such BS and y I almost never trust what a woman says they want in men, cuz 90% of the time it's not true and contradictory garbage.

"One of the reasons my marriage ended was that I fell in love with another man"

Damn y am I not suprised. So she cheated as well.

"My husband and I had an open relationship at the time that J. and I met"

Damn so this women even had an open relationship with her husband. This is how yk she's not normal.

"I keep encountering and hearing about men who “can’t.” Have these men not heard of “don’t want to?”"

It's not that they don't want to, obv most of them want to, it's that they literally can't, and she refuses to empathize with men here at all, which imo also makes her a bad person.

"Maybe my friend was right about male anxiety at this moment. Maybe the men are taking a beat, “laying low,” unsure of how to want, how to talk, how to woo. Maybe they are punishing us for the confusion."

Honestly I understand y a lot of men feel anxious around women, due to false SH/SA allegations, MeToo, demonization of men by society, etc., but this author seems to think it's due to a personal failing of men which I completly disagree with.

"We now have a fancy word, “heteropessimism,” to describe the outlook of straight women fed up with the mating behavior of men."

I think it's much better to use that term/word to describe how straight men feel about women.

"reporting on her third date with a lawyer"

Again this just proves hypergamy. This friend of the author was apparently frustrated the lawyer wasn't free, but the reality is he was probably super busy and stressed from his job, since he's literally, a fucking lawyer, and he also said he wouldn't be ready for a full-on relationship, which makes sense, cuz he's a fucking lawyer whose probalby very busy and stressed from his job, yet the women decided to take the worst possible interepration of it, that he was somehow judging her or smt, when I'm 99% sure that wasn't the case. He was probably just too busy and didn't have time for a commited relationship, which makes sense considering his life circumstances.

"The men I want are not wanting me badly enough, not communicating with me clearly enough, not devoting themselves to me"

Likely cuz u have standards that r 2 high.

"Domestic pessimism (they still do less of the housework and child care); partner-violence pessimism (femicide is still gruesomely routine); erotic pessimism (the clitoris and its properties still elude many of them)."

All such BS it's crazy man. None of this is true, and even if it was, imo men face way more issues than women in modern dating.

"But those “men” are not the men my friends and I are feeling bleak about. It’s the sweet, good ones. Dammit."

This author and her friend probably ignore most of the "Sweet, good men" they know in their lives, and r now complaining about it, acting like they don't exist, when they absolutely to, it's just that those men r invisible to these women.

Also, idk y women have such contradictory preferences in men it's so insane to me.

"We can try to dodge “old-fashioned man-woman stuff” by acting hopeless about relationships rather than “eager” for them."

This author is pretending like women r struggling way more than men in dating, which I completly disagree with, and I think it's the complete opposite.

"Nice to meet you, “good guy”; I am “woman who expects nothing.”

Jesus this is never the case.

I've alr made this post too long, so I'll end it here. The rest of the article is pretty bad as well imo. Honestly, articles like this just rlly frustrate me, but ik there's no point in being bitter/resentful; however, I just wanted to vent about it on here lol.