We live in the best school system in the state. We intentionally moved to this community to get our children in these schools.

At the start of the divorce process, we agreed that the number one goal should be that at least one of us stay in the school system. She said she'd "bend over backwards to make that happen." The only way to do that, really, is for one of us to buy the other out of the equity in the house. Home prices have doubled and interest rates have tripled since we moved here.

I make more than she does, so I can better afford the doubling of the mortgage payment on my single income--but just barely. She probably wouldn't even qualify for the refi amount to be able to buy me out.

But now...

She'd rather the kids not do any extra curriculars than pay for half, even with the significant child support she'll be getting. She refuses to even consider it.
She'd rather put the kids in an entirely different and significantly worse school system than ask for less alimony.
She'd rather us put the house up for sale and have the kids lose the only home they've known that go back to work full time, because that means that she'd get less money from me (but she'd have more money overall...make that make sense).

In short, she'd rather punish me than "bend over backwards" to make sure our kids have a good education.