Your best friend just got done with is divorce, what are some advices and tips to help him?

2025-09-01T11:49:30+00:00

There's a lot of good advice that's universal, not just after divorce. Healthy lifestyle, work life balance, all that.

But specifically for after divorce I'd add these:

figure out a way to make your life better in some way that was not possible before, do your best to reap the reward however insignificant it might be.
don't try to win the race of who moves on first.
learn not to consider your new life through your ex'es eyes. She is not there anymore, what she thinks or would have thought about this and that is not important.
don't go into self-pity and self-indulgence. If you have to, allocate one evening per week, no more.
don't get married again. If you have to, at least work on mistakes. But honestly, just don't, it's a rigged game.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2025-08-30T21:41:52+00:00

Gym. Diet. Sleep. Hormone Optimization if needed. Control what you can control.

You can’t control how your crazy Ex is going to act or talk. But you can control your reaction.

Get your fucking health in check. Go get blood work. Lose weight. Work on your cardio. If you want any chance of finding or being with another woman, you will need to up your game.

Read about relationships. Read about sexual marketplace. There are so many resources online, YouTube etc that your 18 year old confused self wish they had access to.

Clean out your wardrobe. Get new clothes. When you leave the house make yourself presentable. Feel good about yourself and how you look.

You can sleep around like a man who’re but don’t get into another relationship for least 2 years.

Do things for yourself that you never had time for because you were hanging out with your wife and her friends.

Make yourself interesting. Why would any woman want to hang out with you in the future. What do you stand for?

Work on the relationships with your male friends.

Take uber if you are going to drink. Do not ever put yourself in a position for a DUI. Your ex and her lawyer will clean you out if this ever happens. Don’t do anything to be classified as dead beat dad.

In the first year: Don’t go on Hinge or Bumble or whatever to see “what is out there”. Online dating is can be a huge time suck with limited results. You should be spending every free moment you have chasing women.

Go and speak to women in real life. Not to try and pick them up, but just to see if you can hold their interest for 2 minutes. Can you make them laugh? Then when you really see someone you like you won’t be a stuttering idiot.

ProposalExcellent655 · 2025-08-29T13:39:18+00:00

I'm in the middle of it, and I understand and agree with every comment so far. Just wanted to ask, I been separated for a month and we don't talk anymore. Loosing that person that you always had to talk too, what do you do to fill that void? Yes hobbies are great but I work on the road and at night, I try walking when I can but am often so tired and sore it's extremely difficult for me to do. As on the weekends I do better but during the week I mainly just try to sleep and keep my mind off it.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-08-29T13:20:55+00:00

Stay away from alcohol. It numbs the pain but does nothing to help you actually deal with it. Seek therapy, it does help when you approach it with an open mind. Validation of feelings can help bring peace knowing you aren’t crazy. Talk to friends you trust that have been divorced, they know what it feels like.

Lean into hobbies that have been ignored for a long time. Focus on healthy habits, sports, gym, hobbies, social interaction.

When he’s ready, go on some dates, smash some ladies to get the mojo back but be honest about wanting to stay casual. Do not make the mistake of a long term relationship before your head is screwed on right!

mesi130 · 2025-08-29T08:54:50+00:00

Don’t get married again and if you do get a lockdowned prenup

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-08-29T06:25:01+00:00

Stay away from alcohol, drugs, women for a while. Cook, meal prep, physical fitness, read and surrounding yourself with men to deprogram yourself from feminine energy during marriage is crucial. Getting touch with a friend group that I've neglected for 15 years helped a lot.

Focus on kids if there are any, be the loving, gentle, fun dad for a while. Seeing your kids happy will be the motive force to endure anything. Often times we lose ourself in marriage and forget who we were before we made a million sacrifices for our wives and erased ourselves completely to satisfy the needs of others.

No-Boysenberry3045 · 2025-08-29T06:04:40+00:00

Stay away from the booze and drugs. I never thought for one second I would be divorced. I loved my wife. We had everything without problems.

Before mine happened I watched some of my friends really close friends go thru it.

They chose to drink hang out at strip clubs to play the party life. Chase women on and on.

It's ended badly for all 3 of them burned thru money hook up with unstable women who were only going to be there till the money ran out. DUi wrecked cars it was not and did not look than fun to me.

When mine happened I was devastated. Maybe I'm just stupid I never saw it coming. It was crushing for me.

I did not start partying at all. I stayed away from women.i was retired at the time when she told me.

I went back to full-time work. I picked up a part-time job as well . I stayed real busy. Free time was my enemy.

I didn't try to fill that hole in my gut with drugs booze wild spending. I just stayed alone and hung out with my friends.

I have alot of hobbies surfing, mountain bike riding, motorcycles, street, and dirt riding. I still do it

It's been almost 2 years now. I have to work both jobs so I come home dead so I will sleep.

The frist year was terrible for me . I was married 17 years I'm 63 now .

I'm sorry your friend is going thru this. I hope it not going to be ugly.

I didn't get a lawyer or fight. I didn't have it in me. I gave her what she ask for signed papers and stayed quiet.

The stuff didn't mean anything to me since she is leaving.

2 years later it was the right decision for me. I don't regret it.

Be there for support you can't fix any of this . Try to change the subject if possible I didn't talk much about it to my friends.

I came here to talk about it in some of the forums. I was given good advice from the men here. They really helped me.

I hope this helps

illlbeback · 2025-08-29T06:03:02+00:00

Great idea. I'm in Australia, but came from Holland and have had real trouble making friends, the ones I do have have all been approached by my stbxw and a few distanced themselves from me. Lucky some saw through the tactic, but it has been a bitter pill to swallow to see some fall for it so easily. I'm worried I lean too much on my left over friends for support and guidance, so your idea might open up some knowledge from people in the know. I just want to be able to see them and have a laugh and talk about anything but the separation.

Title	Your best friend just got done with is divorce, what are some advices and tips to help him?
Author	JohnHope316
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	August 29, 2025 5:23 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1n2yw7p/your_best_friend_just_got_done_with_is_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/your-best-friend-just-got-done-with-is-divorce.1560775 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560775

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